He fucked my mouth, claiming me. Within a minute, the first blast of thick, hot cum spurted into my mouth.
I continued sucking until Sean’s body relaxed in a sated heap on the bed. I shifted so I could lay next to him, curling into his side. We were both physically and emotionally exhausted, and I tamped down the disappointment when he draped his arm over my body and gave me a chaste kiss on the side of my head before he closed his eyes.
Within minutes, his breathing steadied, leaving me nothing to do but try to match my breaths to his. It was the first of many restless nights.
13
Mason
Nothingwas going accordingto plan. The silver lining to getting hurt was that it meant I’d be able to sneak in some time with Sean instead of traveling with the team.
Unfortunately, after I spilled my guts about how adrift I felt, he pulled away from me. At first, I thought it was simply the end of the honeymoon phase and we were settling into our own routines, but with every day that passed, I grew less certain that we were anything more than a quick fling.
After almost a week of cold distance, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.
“Mace, it’s not you, I just have a lot on my mind right now,” Sean groaned this morning when I tried asking if he was upset with me. “The break is coming up and I have to keep my head in the game. I can’t afford to be distracted right now.”
“Is that what I am?” I stormed across the bedroom and started packing my bag. There was no point in having Abi drive me back and forth every day if he was going to continue avoiding me.
“Dammit, you know that’s not what I’m saying.” He slammed his dresser drawer before stalking over to yank the duffel out of my hands. “I still have a shot to make the All-Star roster, but only if I’m in top form.”
I twisted out of his grip to gather my shit from the bathroom. I knew what he was saying, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. He didn’t have time for dealing with us when he had more important things to do.
While I’d always admired his dedication to baseball, I wished he were more like the players who secretly hoped tonotget picked for the All-Star game. I wanted him to see those few days as a way for us to spend some time together. Petty? Probably, but I never claimed to be selfless.
“I get it, Sean. You’ve always been all about the game. That’s why I’m going to head home for a few days.” My heart twisted at the thought of walking away from him, but it was for the best. We were already on shaky ground, and I didn’t want him to regret making me a priority instead of his own ambitions.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Sean scoffed. He dumped the contents of my duffel onto the bed and started folding my clothes. Even in the middle of a fight, he couldn’t stand to leave them in a haphazard pile. “I never said I don’t want you here. Of all people, you should understand what this would mean for me. This isn’t suits in an office telling me I’m doing a great job, it’s validation from my peers. There are three things I’ve always wanted: the Cy Young Award, to win the World Series, and this. It’s time to start focusing on those before it’s too late.”
“Yeah, thanks for the reminder,” I sulked. My shitty performance this year guaranteed that I’d be sitting home watching the game yet again. “And Idounderstand what you’re doing, which is why I’m clearing out. I’m not saying we’re through or anything, but I think we’ve been moving so fast that neither of us have taken a minute to breathe.”
“Is that what you want?” Sean asked. He flopped onto the edge of the bed. When he looked up at me, I saw the pain in his eyes and wondered if I was making the wrong call.
“Yes,” I lied. There was a chance that me taking a step back would distract him even more than staying here, but it was for the best.
“I see.”
I sat next to him on the bed, wrapping my arms around his waist. “Sean, we’re both under a lot of stress right now. You said yourself that it’s hard to think when we’re around one another, so I’m giving us some space. That way, you can focus all of your energy on kicking ass in your next two starts and I can work on getting this hand healthy.”
“It sounds like your mind’s made up. I guess I’ll talk to you whenever.” Sean made it halfway to the bedroom door before turning around. I stared at him as he walked back toward me, his gaze cast on the ground. “I know you think you’re doing the right thing here, but I have to tell you, this really sucks from where I’m standing.”
“I know.” I stood and hooked my fingers into his belt loops. “You’ve always been straight about the fact that baseball is everything to you. I’m not going to be the one to keep you from getting what you really want.”
“What if what I really want is in the middle of saying goodbye to me right now?”
I reached up to run my thumb over Sean’s cheek. If he didn’t turn around and walk out the door, he was going to see how much it was killing me to do this to both of us.
“Not goodbye,” I promised him. “If it helps, remember that this was going to happen eventually anyway. I won’t be on the DL forever, and then I’ll have to get back to the real world. I’m simply doing that a little bit ahead of schedule.”
Sean curled his fingers around the back of my neck and pulled me in for a kiss. His lips crashed into mine, his tongue forcing its way into my mouth. I slid my hands up his back, pulling him forward until the heat of his chest pressed against mine, wondering if he could feel the way my heart threatened to jump out of my chest.
Sooner than I would have liked, Sean broke the connection. “I have to go. I’ll call you tonight when I get home.”
I stood in the empty room until I heard Sean’s car back out of the driveway, certain I’d just made the biggest mistake of my life.
If Abi heard our fight, she didn’t say anything as she drove south on the Interstate. She glanced over at me every once in a while, and a few times I thought she tried to say something, but each time her mouth snapped shut and she let out a dramatic sigh.
It wasn’t until we pulled into the park that I knew she’d heard nearly every word. Rather than pulling up to the players’ entrance, she parked the truck at the back of the employee lot and turned off the ignition. “Look, I know it’s not my place, but you two need to work out whatever’s going on between you. Running away isn’t going to solve anything,” she scolded me.
