Mason stormed down the beach and I ran after him. Whether or not I got what I wanted at the end of tonight, I needed him to talk to me instead of running away when I got too close to his fears. “Mace, talk to me.”
Mason spun around so fast that I nearly ran into him. He twisted the fabric of my shirt in his hands, holding me inches from his body. “You don’t fucking get it, do you?”
His jaw clenched tight as the waves picked up, washing over the tops of our feet.
“Try me,” I dared him. “Make me understand.”
Mason pulled my body closer to his, sealing his mouth over mine. The taste of yeast and hops from the beer mixed with something uniquely Mason on my lips, but I was too stunned to reciprocate. This kiss was different from every one before it. It was filled with heartache and desperation. It could have been a promise of forever or a mournful goodbye.
“It’s you, Sean,” he said quietly, his lips still so close to mine that I felt the heat of every word. “You’re the part of my life that was missing and I don’t know if I want the rest of that shit if it means not having you with me.”
“Mace, you can’t say that. This is all new and different for you, and you might change your mind once the thrill wears off.” I’d never considered myself an openly emotional person, but I wanted to cry as I admitted my own biggest fear to him.
“You know what, Sean? Fuck you!” Mason hissed as he turned to jog up the stairs to the backyard. “Admitting that I have feelings for you was harder for me than admitting my marriage was a sham. What does that tell you?”
Yet again, I took off after him. By the time I reached the top step, Mason was slumped in one of the wrought iron chairs on the patio tangling his fingers through his hair. I pulled a chair next to his and begged him to look at me. He shook his head and I reached for his hand.
“Mace, I’m sorry,” I apologized. I still doubted that he knew what he was saying, but it wasn’t my place to minimize what he said. “But you have to understand that this isn’t easy for me. You’ve blindsided me a couple of times and I’m still trying to process everything.”
Unconsciously, I lifted my fingers to my mouth; that kiss replaying in my mind. That moment was more than a physical act; it was as though he was pleading with me to understand how he felt about me. He was trying to convince me to stop pushing him away because of my own fears. And I responded by telling him that this was all some passing phase.
“Babe, I’m sorry if I upset you, but you have to see this from my perspective. The first day you walked into our apartment, all cocky because you knew you were the shit both on and off the field, I had to find a reason to get away from you as quickly as I could because I was so turned on,” I admitted to him. “There were times when I thought I caught you looking at me, but after I told you I was gay, you made it abundantly clear that you weren’t.”
“God, I was such a dick to you when we first met, telling you that I didn’t want to hear about your hook ups. What I didn’t tell you was that I was jealous. I hated hearing about you with other men, because I wanted it to be me. I’d been trying to tell myself I’d get over the crush I had on you, but to do that, I had to push you away. And then I figured telling you I was bi and liked you would be a dick move.”
Thunder rolled in the distance and I looked up just in time to see brilliant streaks of lightning illuminate the sky. Soon, we would need to either go inside or make our way back to my place. I opted for the safer option. “Come on, we can keep talking on the way home, but I think it’s time to get back.”
* * *
Mason
Sean wasquiet the entire drive back to his house. When we parked and I watched him walk inside without waiting for me, I knew I’d said too much. It would have been different if we weren’t involved, but we were, and I knew there were things I’d thought about having in my life that he might not want.
My footsteps echoed through the house as I followed him up the stairs to his bedroom. He stripped down to his boxer briefs and slid into bed. Since he hadn’t asked me to leave when he glanced up at me, I toed off my shoes and neatly folded each article of clothing as I got ready for bed.
I reached out for him, needing to feel the warmth of his body next to mine as I drifted off to sleep. His body was rigid with tension.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered in his ear before pressing my lips to his shoulder. “There’s a reason I keep that shit bottled up inside.”
He laced his fingers with mine. “It’s fine, Mace,” he assured me. “I want you to be able to talk to me. It’s just a lot to take in at one time.”
“I get it. I also know that you weren’t expecting all that tonight,” I responded. “Honestly, I’d have much rather come up here and not talked at all.”
“Not talking sounds like a great plan,” Sean agreed. He rolled over so our faces were barely an inch apart. I shivered as Sean ran his hand up my chest, over my shoulder and carded his fingers in my hair. He leaned in so our foreheads were pressed together. “In fact, I think we shouldnottalk for the rest of the night.”
My dick twitched in agreement as Sean devoured my mouth. Our tongues tangled and the room filled with moans of anticipation as I ground my hips against his. Never in my life had I experienced the rawneedI felt when we came together.
I no longer wondered what it would be like to be with Sean, no longer simplywantedwhat he could give me.I needed him.I felt as though my life would be missing something without him.
Tonight, I wanted to take my time with Sean, to touch every inch of his skin. With my cock already dripping precome, practically screaming at me in protest, I backed away from Sean’s body. I pushed him onto his back, kneeling beside him. My fingers barely grazed his skin as I teased my way from his neck down to his nipples. Sean’s back arched as I circled the dark pink flesh, refusing to give him the pressure I knew he craved.
The journey continued in the valley between his pecs, down to the smattering of hair leading beneath the elastic of his boxer briefs. As I tugged Sean’s underwear down his hips, I glanced up to see him staring at me. Not moving, just savoring the feeling of me exploring his body.
I chuckled as I took just the tip of his dick into my mouth, tracing my tongue through his slit and around the crown. His slightly bitter, salty essence fueled me to take him deeper, suck harder, until I felt him at the back of my throat.
“Mace, not going to last,” he warned me.
I tried to pull off to give him a chance to recover a bit, but he threaded his fingers through my hair, holding me in place as his hips bucked off the bed.
