“We love you, too,” I reminded him. “Now, let’s get to your dad’s so we can start counting down the hours until we go home. We still have to find a way to thank Colin for making us see what we were both trying to ignore.”
“Yeah, sorry about that,” Zach apologized. “I know we said we were going to tell him later, but I couldn’t wait. It felt important for him to know.”
“Baby, you don’t need to apologize,” I reassured him. “Telling him when you did was the perfect time because it was spontaneous. Now, quit stalling.”
“Yes, Sir,” Zach teased. My dick stirred. That sentence held a very different meaning when we weren’t on our way to the gallows.
21
Colin
I had never looked forwardto going home less than I did today. That probably made me the shittiest child in our family, but I would have given my left nut to be crammed into the backseat of Zach's car on our way to the world's most uncomfortable Thanksgiving, rather than heading home to a family that would smother me in love before unleashing their criticism about whatever the hell they found lacking today.
“Why are you even here?” Jayden asked as he whizzed down the highway. “We all know you're going to be a miserable pain in the ass all weekend because you'd rather be with your boys.”
Even though he didn’t fully accept our relationship, I liked hearing them referred to asmy boys. We hadn’t put any real labels on that side of what we did, and they’d never be my boys the same way my brother was Jayden’s, but it sounded right. That they belonged to me—with me.
But they weren’t with me. We’d passed the exit for Zach’s hometown almost an hour ago. Best case scenario, they had already made the introductions and Zach’s dad was on his best behavior in front of company. Worst case, Zach had opened his big mouth and they were in the middle of a verbal sparring match that would lead to Zach digging himself a deeper hole and possibly pulling away from us. As much as I wanted to believe that he loved us as much as he said this morning, there was a shadow of doubt in my mind that he’d leave us if it was the only way to hold on to his dad’s love.
“Yeah, well, I wasn't exactly invited,” I spat out. My chest tightened, and I didn’t realize I’d clenched my jaw until it started to ache. I couldn't have easily backed out of going home for the holiday anyway, but I didn't like feeling like the outsider. If shit went south, I had no doubt Daniel would take care of Zach, but it felt wrong not being with them.
“Did you ever think maybe they assumed you would say no if they'd invited you? Face it, they know from me complaining that it’s not easy to get out of holidays with Mom and Dad. If they’d asked, you would have been put in a bad spot because you want to take care of them, but you also don’t want to let down our parents. It can’t be easy.” Chase turned in the passenger seat to face me. “You know they're probably missing you as much as you're missing them. And as ridiculous as it is, you’d be happier with them than worrying about Zach all weekend.”
“Why in hell did you say it that way?” I glared at him and he just shook his head.
“Little brother, you have no clue how weird it is that you're dating my roommates.” He shuddered. “Seriously, it’s messed up that I have to think about what you’re doing with them at the other end of the suite.”
“Then maybe don’t think about my sex life, you weirdo,” I teased. “And technically, you’re dating my roommate, too. And I guarantee I’m able to block outwhateverthe two of you get up to in your room. Hell, even when it leaks out into the public areas, I try to not think about it.”
“That's totally different. We were already together before you were even out of high school.” Chase smirked like he’d just shut me down. Not by a long shot. When the corners of his mouth tipped up, I realized he was trying to get my mind off the anxiety and panic.
“Semantic difference,” I argued. “But I get it. It's probably weird to everybody on multiple levels, but as long as you're not trying to talk me out of being with them, I'll deal with whatever you want to say about our relationship.”
“So, if I told you I think you're making a huge mistake, you'd dump them?” Jayden tested me.
I let out a low growl and muttered under my breath exactly what I thought of that idea.
“Yeah, I thought so.” He chuckled. “Bear in mind, none of us expect you to dump them, even though it’s weird as fuck. Maybe eventually it won't be so weird, but you have to give us time to get used to it.”
“Why?” I challenged him. “What the hell does it matter, as long as the three of us are happy? Did you give everyone time to get used to the fact that the two of you were screwing around?”
I seriously regretted my choice to come home for Thanksgiving, the longer I was stuck in the car with Jayden. He still held a serious grudge for the way Zach had treated Chase, and I wasn't going to put up with it forever. Everybody made mistakes. I was pretty sure that I could find someone who would be all too happy to spill the tea about Jayden's imperfections. But I didn't because he made my brother happy and that was all that mattered.
Zach fucked up big time; no one was disputing that. But he’d apologized and really was trying to prove that he wasn’t all talk. Eventually, Jayden had to let this shit go.
“You really like them, don't you,” Jayden mused.
“Yeah, I do. More than that, I’m in love with them. Both of them,” I clarified before either my brother or his boyfriend could question me. “I know it doesn't make sense to a lot of people, but this works for us. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything because being with them feels right. I’m lucky I didn't have to spend half my time in college with random hookups. I found two amazing men who love me just as much as I love them.”
“But what happens next year? You can't tell me things aren't going to be different when you're still in college and they've graduated.”
“Are you trying to make me doubt my feelings?” I would have jumped out of the car if we weren't speeding down the interstate at seventy-five miles an hour. “Seriously, Jayden. Give it a rest. I love them and they love me, and that's all we really need to know. We don't owe you any more explanation than that.”
“All I'm saying is, you need to be realistic about this, Colin. They're in a different place than you are,” Jayden explained in a supremely patronizing tone. “I know right now everything is awesome and you’re finally getting to explore your sexuality, but I don't want to see you get hurt, either. I’m not bringing this up just to be a dick to you.”
“What's to say we’ll even be together that long?” My stomach clenched at the very thought of not being with them, but it was a very real possibility. “Couples split up all the time. Like you said, I'm young. If this proves to be nothing more than a scorching hot college memory, then so be it. But I'm not going to back off just because there's uncertainty in the future. Hell, I could ask you the same question. What would you do if Chase got a job offer on one side of the country and you’re offered a job here? I know you're not looking to leave Annandale, but the reality is, he's going to have companies wanting him to come work for them.”
“That's totally different,” Jayden countered.
