I wished I was feeling better so Chase and I could talk more about the little stuff. I wished Brandon hadn’t had to go out of town during spring break because that would have been the perfect time for us to talk and explore without having to worry about the stress of school or anyone walking in on us. Instead, I sat at home, obsessing over whether the time apart would make Brandon see all the reasons being with someone who might be little didn't work for him. And when I wasn’t doing that, I was glued to my phone, trying to figure out how to be the best little ever so he couldn’t resist my cuteness.
I’d quickly realized that wasn’t my style. Yes, I could be cute, but I was also sassy. Once Brandon was okay with being my Daddy when I was little, I’d bet I was going to earn lots of punishments. It wasn’t that Iwantedto back talk him or not listen, but it was who I was. Everything I read said I wasn’t going to be a totally different person when I was little.
Chase gently pushed against my hip, shoving me closer to the wall. He hopped off my bed, grabbed the extra pillows off Brandon's, and propped them against my headboard. He slipped his hand into mine when I curled on my side. I still hated the idea of him getting sick because of me, but cuddling felt good and I wasn't picky about who I snuggled with right about then.
“This is all new for you,” Chase pointed out. “And no one expects you to have all the answers right away. Go with whatever feels right. If that means being little, do it. No one is going to blame you for doing what makes you comfortable right now. Not even your Daddy. All he wants is for you to start feeling better.”
“I think the biggest problem I have is what you call being little, and what I see online, and what Brandon thinks of when he hears the phrase don't feel that much different compared to who I always am,” I admitted. “Sure, there are some things that are different but not this huge change, you know?”
I hoped Chase understood what I was trying to say because just that little bit of an explanation had taken a lot out of me. I pulled up my blanket and felt around behind me for my sippy cup. I wasn’t ever letting that go now that Brandon told me I could keep it out.
“Not everything has to be this huge change,” Chase pointed out. “It's not like being a drag queen or something, where you have to put on pounds of makeup and wigs and everything else.”
When I struggled to reach for my sippy, Chase leaned over my body and grabbed it. After handing it to me, he brushed the hair away from my forehead. “When was last time you had medicine?”
I shrugged. Time had lost all meaning at this point. I wasn't even sure how long Daddy had been gone or when he'd come back.
Chase jumped out of the bed. “I'm going to get you some more. I think Brandon gave you Tylenol before, so I'm going to get ibuprofen to be safe. And if it's easier for you, I could text him to see if he could pick up some of the kid’s syrup, so you don't have to swallow pills. You have to drink more because you’re a not a kid, but it helps.”
I crossed my hands over my stomach, resisting the urge to gag. Even when I'd been a kid, I never could stomach the disgusting taste of most liquid medicines.
“Okay, or not.” Chase chuckled. “It was just a thought. Sometimes it's nice because it helps me stay little, too. But you don't have to do anything you don't want to. That's the most important thing, Matty.”
“Okay,” I whispered. While he was gone, I closed my eyes. I'd been sleeping so much I shouldn't still be tired, but I was exhausted.
I woke up when Chase gently shook my arm. “Wake up and take your medicine, then I'll see if I can get my Daddy to say you can have another popsicle.”
Popsicles were good. They made my throat not hurt so bad and I could let them melt in my mouth. I’d do just about anything for some relief.
Except, while Chase was gone, I fell asleep again. And this time, he didn't wake me up. I stayed sleeping until Daddy came back and, even then, I didn't really wake up. I knew it was him this time because he smelled right.
“Can you open your eyes for me, Matty?” He hissed when he gave me a peck on the cheek. “If you're not better by tomorrow, you are going to campus health. If I have to, I'll call your mom and tell on you.”
“Don't,” I pleaded. “She has enough going on.”
“Then you need to be a good boy and listen to me.” Brandon chuckled, muttering something under his breath about how he couldn’t believe he was saying stuff like that as he left the room.
He came back with both more medicine for me and a bowl of soup. It wasn’t going to be as good as his, but he took forever in the kitchen. One time, I’d made the mistake of asking him why he made his own broth instead of using the box and he’d gone into this long lecture about how something called bone broth was healthier. I didn’t know what in the heck that meant but I was too scared to ask questions. He set the bowl down on my desk and grabbed my cup. “Did you fill this while I was gone?”
I nodded. Whispering didn’t hurt so bad, so I kept my voice low when I responded. “Chase filled it for me. And brought me presents.”
I pointed to the stack of coloring books and crayons he’d set on the edge of the desk when Jayden told him they needed to go to his mom’s for dinner. Me being sick was messing up things for everyone. The guys were awesome and understood why Brandon was taking a break from cooking, but that meant they all had to spend money they weren’t planning on because of me.
“It sounds like you had a good afternoon.” He handed me the cup before climbing into bed next to me. I hoisted myself upright, panting from the exertion. A simple act like sitting up should not leave me out of breath and sweaty.
Daddy scooped up some broth and blew on it. I leaned forward so we didn’t make a mess all over the bed. While I ate, he distracted me by telling me all about his classes. They were mostly boring stories, but just listening to him talk helped. The spoon clattered in the bowl when he’d fed me the last bite. I still felt like garbage, but I knew I needed to eat. “Thank you, Daddy.”
I curled into the fetal position and closed my eyes while he rubbed my back. That didn’t last long. “Why don’t we get you in the shower. You’ll feel better, and then I have a surprise for you.”
He pointed to the shopping bag on his bed. Apparently, the upside of feeling like death was I got more presents than I did on my birthday. Just the thought of getting out of bed was exhausting. It felt like the little energy I’d gained from the soup drained out of my toes as soon as I was upright. By the time we reached the door, I was leaning heavily on Brandon for support.
After Brandon helped me out of my clothes, I leaned against the sink while he stripped down. I’d fantasized about showering together plenty of times, but this was far from how I imagined things going. His hand brushed my hip as he leaned into the tiny stall to turn on the water. It was going to be interesting to see how the two of us were going to fit in there. The lack of space was the main reason I hadn’t tried convincing him to take shower sex for a test drive.
Much to my dismay, there was nothing sexy about our first shared shower. I don’t think I could have gotten it up if he’d bent me over and drilled my prostate, and Brandon had more self-control than just about anyone I knew. Still, it felt good to have his soapy hands rubbing all over my body, washing away the funk of the day.
Again, Daddy was right. I did feel another step better by the time he tenderly dried me off. He wrapped a towel around my waist, and I resumed my place at the sink so I could watch him drying himself. My dick gave a reassuring twitch as my gaze roamed his body, letting me know I wasn’t completely dead yet.
“Quit looking at me like that,” he scolded me as he tucked in the end of the towel. I pouted when he turned away as he slipped a hand into the opening so he could get things situated. Just because I was sick didn’t mean he couldn’t jerk off. And it would be more fun to watch than just about anything else, even cartoons.
