Theron
I wasn’t a fan of the utterly helpless feeling I got almost nightly. I hated that Sam was still paying rent on an apartment he rarely visited, other than to pick up clothes he’d forgotten. If not for his dedication to honoring his commitments, he could have temporarily cut back on his hours at work, so he wasn’t spread so thin while trying to study for the last finals he had to take before graduation.
The only silver lining was that heneededhis little time like never before. But even that was a bit gloomy because we’d entered this phase of trying to keep his stress levels low enough that he could function. When you added in the anxiety over his parents’ visit this weekend, my boy was about ready to shatter.
“Hey, let me know when you’re ready…” Tom came barreling into my office the same way he usually did, but today he stopped in his tracks. He pulled out the chair in front of my desk. “Anything you wanna talk about, boss man?”
“Don’t call me that,” I scolded him. He knew damn well it pissed me off when he playfully put me on a pedestal. It was weird as hell being the boss of someone I’d grown up with, in the school where we’d first met. But he always had a way of turning up when I needed a friendly ear. “Sam’s family’s coming into town tomorrow morning and the timing couldn’t be worse.”
“Honeymoon has to end at some point,” he said, waving a hand dismissively. He cocked his head to the side and smirked. “Oh my god, you’re nervous about meeting the ‘rents, aren’t you?”
“The ‘rents? You’ve been spending too much time with your students,” I chastised. “And no, I’m not nervous about meeting them. Yes, it’s a bit soon by a lot of people’s standards, but we both know I’m not one to follow any sort of schedule.”
“You’re not worried they’re going to look down on you for robbing the cradle?”
I glared at him. Ihadn’tbeen worried about that, but now I would be. Tom was such an asshole. The age difference wasn’t something I gave much thought to. I might have when our relationship was new, but it didn’t matter to me anymore because Sam was perfect for me. And, even then, there had been so many other hurdles for us to overcome that it had barely been a passing thought.
Tom held up his hands in surrender and laughed. “Hey, if you’re not going to tell me why you’re tweaking about this, I’m going to start making guesses.”
He leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees. I had to work to keep from squirming as he stared at me, as if he’d see the answers to whatever questions were brewing in my mind if he looked hard enough. “You’re in deep with him, aren’t you?”
“Deeper than I have any right to be,” I admitted. Around Sam, I tried to be confident enough for both of us but that didn’t mean I never dealt with my own insecurities. “He has it in his head that he’s never going to be good enough. And, I mean, I suppose I can understand where part of that comes from, but I wish I could make him see how special he is.”
“I don’t know much about your relationship with him, but I’m sure you’re doing everything you can,” Tom reassured me. “But this isn’t general anxiety, is it? You mentioned his family coming into town. Does the stress that has your shoulders hitched up to your ears have something to do with that? Does he not get along with his family?”
“The exact opposite, actually. They’re his loudest cheerleaders.” I’d heard so many horror stories and seen just how awful some parents could be when their kids weren’t the cachet norm they’d envisioned. I loved Sam’s family without even meeting them because they’d never made him feel he was less than because of who he was. “But that’s also why he’s nervous. And when he’s keyed up, I get stressed out because I don’t know how to make it better for him.”
“You guys are pretty much 24/7, right?” Tom smirked, knowing that before Sam, I’d sworn I didn’t need or want a boy around all the time. I nodded. “So maybe part of the problem is he knows he’s not going to get the time he’s used to while his family’s in town. If I’m right, and you know I usually am, you need to do two things when you get home tonight.”
“Tell me, oh wise one,” I quipped, ignoring Tom’s comment about how often he was right. Any other time, I would have pointed out that I was the one who had to help him pull his head out of his ass when he was lusting after the student teacher who’d been assigned to work with him. This was his payback and I was grateful for it, not that I’d ever tell him.
“First, you need to figure out subtle ways for him to get some little time. It might be as simple as you picking out the outfit he’s going to wear or taking care of him while his family is there.” That seemed like common sense to me. I couldn’t remember the last time I hadn’t done those things so it wouldn’t be much of a change for us. “And then, you need to put him in the bathtub until he’s nice and relaxed, then give him as much little time as possible until his family arrives. Make sure he has that to hold onto until the next time the two of you have the house to yourselves.”
Huh. Seemed that was where I’d fucked up. I was planning on trying to help ease him into being big at home, thinking that would help him feel confident when others were around. But now that Tom suggested it, I knew what I needed to do. I started packing my laptop and papers, even though I knew damn well I wasn’t going to get any work done this weekend. The next two days were all about proving to Sam’s family that he was in good hands and that he was loved.
“You’re a genius.” I gave his shoulder a squeeze on my way past. Tom didn’t need to be told it was time to leave. He knew I tended to go full speed once I had a task in front of me.
“I’m sorry, can you repeat that once I have my phone out?” I flipped him off without turning back. I could hear him laughing behind me, and the secretary looked at both of us like we were insane. Compared to a lot of the buttoned-up old guard around here, we were, but slowly, the rest of them were seeing how much progress we’d made with the students, so they shut up and dealt with our antics.
* * *
Sam was sofocused on finishing his homework that he didn’t notice when I walked into the kitchen from the garage. Except, when we’d talked earlier, he’d told me he was almost done and promised he would curl up on the couch to watch a movie until I got home.
He didn’t flinch when I closed the door, meaning he had his headphones in. He admitted that, even though he didn’tneedthe music to block out noise when he was here, it had become a habit and he struggled to focus when it was quiet. I could understand that, but my boy was completely oblivious to me moving around behind him, which meant his music was entirely too loud.
I paused a few feet behind his chair, trying to decide the best way to approach him. Unfortunately, I couldn’t think of any way that wouldn’t startle him. As expected, he jumped when I wrapped my arms around his chest and pressed my lips against his hair. “Daddy! You scared the shit out of me!”
“Excuse me?” I released him, crossing my arms over my chest. “Are you allowed to say bad words, young man?”
“I’m sorry but you did!” he protested. “You could have been a burglar or a kidnapper trying to take me.”
“Perhaps you should have thought about that before you turned up the volume on your music,” I scolded him as I pulled the wireless headphones out of his ears. “And, seriously, we may need to talk about what sort of home intruders you think try to cuddle their victims into submission.”
As we continued chatting, I started stacking the papers Sam had strewn all over the table. It only took a glance at his laptop screen to see he hadn’t been working on anything pressing at all, which meant he’d disobeyed me.
“I can clean this stuff up. I just have to get one last thing sorted out and then I’ll be done for the night,” he explained. I quirked an eyebrow and glanced at his screen. His cheeks turned an adorable shade of pink. “I was taking a little break. I’ve been working hard all day so I could get this turned in by Sunday night, without having to leave you to entertain my family while they’re here.”
“If you need me to, I can,” I offered. I doubted his parents would be happy about him working while they were here to celebrate his birthday, but maybe it would help them see I only wanted what was best for Sam.
