“Baby, you have to admit that if one of us corrupted the other, you’d win that one,” he said, still giggling adorably. “I was sweet and innocent until your kinky self moved into my room.”
“You might have been vanilla, but I highly doubt you’ve been innocent for years,” I shot back. No one was as good as he was at edging their partner or getting off without penetration without experience. And, if we were spending tonight at his mom’s and I didn’t have to get up at dawn to catch a bus, I was going to make sure we didn’t waste that time together. “Besides, you should remember that I’ve met your uncle. Ihighlydoubt you were some delicate wallflower before I walked into the room.”
“Fair enough,” Jay conceded. He hopped out of the bed and started pulling clothes out of his dresser. “So, is there anything I need to know before we head to your parents’ place? Will they be offended by my snarky tees? Do I need to pack church clothes?”
“Church clothes?” I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and gaped at him. “Why would you do that? And whatarechurch clothes?”
“You know, dressy shit you can wear to church. If you tell me I need a suit and tie we’re shit out of luck, but Iamcapable of being presentable when needed.”
“No, you don’t need anything like that. Other than sending us to Sunday School, which I’m pretty sure was just so they had a couple of hours without having to deal with us, I can’t remember the last time my parents dragged us to church on Sunday.” I hopped off the bed. If Jay wasn’t going to let me wallow, I might as well finish packing so we could head to his mom’s for dinner.
“I honestly have no clue what your family’s like, other than the little bits you’ve told me,” Jay admitted. “I know you worry about them knowing we’re together, so I sort of assumed they were hardcore religious or something.”
“Nope, just neurotic as hell,” I admitted. “My mom is high-strung. She obsesses about what might happen to her kids, which is why they had a problem with me moving away for school. She wanted to keep me where she could keep an eye on me.”
“And, let me guess, that’s why you wanted to get away?”
He gets it in one.“Yeah. I knew I’d never be able to explore things if I was worried about my mom barging into my dorm room uninvited. And she totally would have. The only reason she hasn’t descended on us unannounced is because my dad started a new job and she’s had to be there to take care of the kids. I suppose it’s a good thing Colin’s been giving them fits, otherwise she’d have left him in charge so she could check up on me.”
Jay shrugged. “I can deal with that. I thought we were going to be subjected to a lecture about how they feared for our souls if we didn’t repent our sinful ways.”
“I kind of like our sinful ways,” I admitted. It was crazy how much better I felt when Jay distracted me. I wasn’t eager to head out to the common area and jump into a cuddle pile with Zach and Daniel or anything, but I wasn’t so worried about what they thought of me. Jay was the one who mattered, and he was currently packing my special backpack. “That’s staying at your mom’s, right?”
“Nope.”
“We can’t take it to my parents’ house,” I protested. The only time I’d had any of my gear in their house had been over winter break, and I’d been tense the entire time waiting for one of my siblings to go snooping.
“No, but we can put it in my car. Luckily, most of your stuff is already at my mom’s place, but I know you. If we leave anything here, you’re going to worry about someone breaking into the room and finding it while we’re gone.” When he put it like that, yeah, I was definitely okay with taking my stuff with us. But he could still leave it at his mom’s, where we both knew no one would think anything was strange if they saw it. “And if you’re struggling, we’ll find a way to get you at least a few minutes of little time. You need this, Chase. It’s part of who you are, not just something you like dressing up to do on the weekends.”
I crossed the room and wrapped my arms around Jay from behind with my cheek pressed to his back. “Thank you, Daddy, for always taking care of me.”
“You don’t need to thank me for that, babe,” he said as he turned in my arms. He hooked a finger under my chin, tipping my head back so I was looking up at him. It still amazed me that this beautiful man was all mine. His stubble felt rough under my palm. He tilted his head to the side. “I meant it, Chase. I’m the lucky one. It’s crazy that our paths probably crossed a hundred times, but it wasn’t until you barged into my room that I realized how much I needed you in my life.”
Jay and I took a few minutes to go through the room making sure none of my little stuff was left behind. I startled when there was a knock on the door. I felt silly, but I hid behind him as he opened the door. “Hey man, what’s up?”
“Is Chase here?” Zach asked. I swallowed hard and dug my fingers into Jay’s hips, so he’d know I didn’t want to talk to our roommate. I’d just managed to come back from the stupid things I’d let get to me from earlier. Having a week apart would give us time for me to calm down enough I wouldn’t make a fool of myself when I had to face him again.
“What do you want, Zach?” There was no missing Jay’s annoyance.
“I wanted to apologize for being a flaming bag of dicks earlier.” The non-apology felt almost scripted, like he was here because he was told he had to be, not because he felt bad about what he’d said to me. And maybe Ihadoverreacted. He hadn’t been teasing me about being little, his cracks had all been unoriginal insults about how only babies liked this or only kids were into that. But I’d let him get to me.
Zach wasn’t fooled by me hiding behind Jay. He leaned around so he was looking directly at me. I tucked my chin, trying to make myself smaller. “Listen, I had no right to take my crappy week out on you. I’ve got some shit I’m trying to deal with, and you were an easy target. That wasn’t cool.”
“No, it wasn’t,” I agreed, my words muffled by Jay’s body. I held him tighter as I looked up at Zach, remembering everything Jay had said to get me to calm down. I let Jesse mess with my head and convince me there was something wrong with me. I’d kept my guard up since moving in here because I didn’t want to be vulnerable again. “I’m sorry if you were in a bad mood, but that doesn’t mean you can make another person feel bad for something they enjoy. What I do doesn’t impact your life at all, so it shouldn’t matter if I wanted to spend all day looking for that figure. There’s probably stuff you like that I don’t, but I would never,ever,go out of my way to make you feel bad.”
“Damn, where was this fire earlier?” Zach sounded almost proud of me for standing up to him. I let go of Jay and stood taller. Zach had a valid point; I had no reason to hide.
“If you want to talk about whatever’s bothering you, we’re here for you.” I slid my hand into Jay’s. He gave my fingers a squeeze and smiled, letting me know he was proud of me for being the bigger person. “But please don’t look at me and think I’m going to be your punching bag.No onedeserves that.”
“I promise, I won’t.” I shook his outstretched hand. It felt like a weight I hadn’t known I’d been carrying around vanished from my shoulders. For the past few months, I’d convinced myself he was no different than Jesse and steered clear of him. Now, I was starting to get a clearer picture. Like me, Zach had something he was holding back. For someone who tried acting so confident all the time, that had to be tough. “Maybe when you get back, we can all go out. Things have been tense in the suite this semester, and that’s on me. I want to get back to how it used to be.”
“I’d like that,” Jay told him. I slipped back as the two of them talked a bit more about life before I’d moved in. Everything was packed and ready to go by the time Jay pulled him into a quick hug. Maybe Zach wasn’t as bad as I’d originally thought.
20
Jayden
“Hey boys,”Mom called out as I set our bags down at the base of the steps. My stomach growled as I inhaled the scent of fennel, garlic, and peppers. It didn’t matter that I’d eaten lunch a couple of hours ago, the prospect of a home-cooked meal made me ravenous. “Jayden, can I talk to you for a minute?”
