I nodded again. Matt draped an arm over my shoulder, giving me a quick hug. “I’m sorry I made you scared, Chase. I didn’t mean to. Daddy says I have to think more about other people sometimes. I think he’s right.”
“You were excited to know someone like you. It’s okay.” If I didn’t have the history I had, I might have felt the same way when I realized I had a friend who lived so close to me. “We won’t tell your Daddy or my Jay about me getting upset, okay? Some things can be just between us.”
“Thank you. I don’t want them mad at me.” Matt hunched his shoulders and crossed his arms. I didn’t like seeing him upset, so I stepped in front of him and gave him a hug. Maybe it was strange for two college students, but I wasn’t worried about what other people might think right then. I just wanted Matt happy again. When I released him, he smiled and said, “Thanks. I needed that.”
“Anytime. Jay says cuddles make everything better. He’s smart so he’s probably right.” Even with the phone problems, this afternoon had turned into a really good one. I felt lighter as we walked into Talbert, like I was finally able to drop a little bit of the weight I’d been carrying around now that I had Matt to talk to.
12
Jayden
“Buddy,I know you’re nervous but there’s no reason to be,” I reminded Chase as we gathered up everything we’d need for the weekend. After a month of being miserable when I went home, I finally convinced him nothing bad would happen if he came with me.
I hated being away from Chase. I found myself worrying about if he needed me, almost as much as I worried that he’d take care of himself the way he had before we’d gotten together and realize hedidn’tneed me.
“But what if I slip up and do something dumb?” He picked up his binkie and popped it into his mouth as he neatly rolled big Pika in his blankie before stuffing them into his backpack. “I don’t want your mom to hate me or think I’m some weirdo.”
And that was the moment I broke. He’d been doing so good ever since the day he and Matt opened up to one another about the fact they were both little, but all week he’d been dwelling on what it would mean to meet my mom and what she’d think about him.
I thought back to one of the many conversations I’d had with my uncle. He was becoming a valuable mentor to me, and it wasn’t even awkward anymore when I needed his advice. Discipline was something I wasn’t sure how to handle, so I’d called him.
Never raise your voice. If you’re angry, calm the fuck down before you talk to him.I took a few deep breaths.
“Come here, Ash.” My voice sounded scarily calm, even to my own ears, so I wasn’t surprised to see him flinch. I held out my hand before sitting down on the edge of his bed. While I didn’t want him to associate his safe space with punishments or bad feelings, there was no way in hell we were going to talk about this on my side of the room where nosy little ears could be listening from the other side of the shared wall.
I scooted back as Ash climbed up next to me. He buried his face against my chest, still sucking on his binkie. I closed my eyes and let the rise and fall of his chest calm me. I hated getting upset with my buddy but, even more, I hated hearing him calling himself weird.
“You’re perfect,” I told him, kissing the top of his head. “You’re crazy smart.” I gave him another kiss. “You’re silly and fun.” One more kiss. “There is nothing weird or dumb about you. I thought you understood that by now, but obviously you need a reminder. No one talks bad about my boy, and that includes you. Got it?”
“Yes, Jay.” My heart cracked when he sniffled a few times. “But I’m—”
“I swear, if you even think about finishing whatever you were going to say, I’m going to put you in the corner.” Hehatedcorner time. I knew he worried I would leave him there and forget to come back when he was serving his punishment, which was why I never moved from my bed or desk on the few occasions I’d had to put him there.
Sometimes, he’s going to need a reminder that you’re there for him. He will feel better if he knows you care enough to follow through.
“You’ve had plenty of warnings, buddy, so now I’m going to have to punish you for breaking the rules again,” I explained, rubbing his back slowly to help him stay calm. “It hurts me when I hear you talk about yourself that way because that’s not how I see you. Knowing you still struggle makes me feel like I’m not doing enough to make sure you know how special you are.”
“You do, Jay. Every day, you make me feel like I’m the center of the world. But other people—”
I cut him off, unwilling to enable his low self-esteem. “Other people don’t matter. And today, you havenothingto worry about. My uncle’s going to be there, and you’ve met him before. My mom is just like him. They’re both going to love you. I promise. The only thing you need to worry about is my mom trying to baby you. She still struggles with me being on my own, and once she knows your family is hours away, she’s going to make it her mission to take care of you.”
“At least she cares.” Chase was still bitter over his parents not calling to let him know his phone would be down when they switched carriers. They called it an oversight, but he was convinced it was because he was out of sight and out of mind. Having heard bits of the conversation when he used my phone to get in touch with them, I thought he was likely overreacting, but I was always careful to not say anything that would make it seem like I was taking their side. “I’ll be good, Jay. I will try really hard to not say any bad words about myself anymore.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” I hugged him tight before allowing my fingers to slide down his spine and into the waistband of the pants he wasn’t putting back on after I got done with him. He was cute, but he looked like a caricature of what he thought a respectable boyfriend was supposed to look like in his dark-wash jeans and button-down shirt over a plain black t-shirt. I shifted around so Chase was pinned under me, leaning down so my mouth was next to his ear. “But that doesn’t mean you’re getting out of your punishment. You need a reminder all night that you don’t get to talk bad about yourself.”
“Please, don’t put me in the corner, Jay,” Chase begged me. “I’ll be good. I promise.”
“I have no doubt you’ll be my good boy, but you’re still going to need reminders,” I told him as I trailed a fingertip lightly over his chest. “But don’t worry, I have something different planned for you today.”
“Different?” His brow furrowed, then his eyes grew almost as wide as the smile that broke out on his face. “Are you going to spank me today, Jay?”
“Would my boy like that?” I tucked my fingers into the front of his pants. His hips arched off the bed, and he whimpered when the backs of my fingers made contact with his dick. “You’re already making a mess in your undies. I think you like the idea of going out with a red bottom.”
“Please, Jay,” he cried out. I lowered my body on top of him, grinding my erection against his.
I decided to tease him a bit more before letting up. “If you can be a good boy through dinner tonight, I might have a surprise for you later. I’m not going to let you get sticky now, but tonight I plan on make my buddy very, very messy. You might even need a bath by the time I’m done with you.”
“A real bath?” I knew that was something my buddy dreamed about, but thought was out of his reach as long as we were living in the suite. And it still wouldn’t be an all the time occurrence, but I was looking forward to showing him the bath toys I’d picked up earlier in the week just for tonight. “Do I get bubbles and fishes and boats, Jay?”
