“Okay, so since you see and hear things, how would Chase go about finding someone to help him out?” I asked.
The bartender shrugged. “I think your uncle would be a better one to ask for advice on that.”
That was the very last thing I wanted to do, but I would, for Chase. Seeing him slowly relax—to the point I’d noticed the stuffie in his lap instead of hidden in his pocket—reassured me I had done the right thing by bringing him here. The bartender wandered off, leaving me thinking about what to do next.
“You don’t have to fix this for me, Jayden,” Chase said, resting a hand on my arm. “Just the fact you came here with me means everything. I’ll never forget it.”
“But you deserve a Daddy who will take care of you,” I argued.
“Eh, maybe. But I don’t want to rush into anything, either.” He drained what was left of his soda. “I’m ready to go when you are.”
6
Chase
Tonight,had been eye-opening. Jayden was right; I needed to get out there and see other people who were like me, so I could start letting go of everything I’d had thrown at me last semester. I wasn’t weird or gross or anything else. I was me, and Ilikedbeing able to be little sometimes.
Before we left, Jayden led me over to his uncle. My heart raced and my palms were sweaty. This wasn’t like meeting a boyfriend’s family, but in some ways, it was. Jayden wasn’t my boyfriend, but he was my best friend. He was the man who did little things to make me happy, and it was important that his family like me. Then again, maybe meeting his uncle who worked in a kink club would help me work my way up to meeting his mom.
“Remember, he’s not going to judge you. If anything, he’s going to want to scoop you up and take care of you himself.” Jayden’s jaw tensed, and he balled his hand into a tight fist at his side.
“I’m not ready for that,” I insisted. And honestly, William scared me a little bit. He was huge, and I pictured him being a very strict Daddy. That wasn’t something I needed in my life. For me, it was about relaxing more than anything. Knowing a Daddy would take care of me was a bonus. “Besides, I don’t think he’s my type.”
Jayden’s shoulders relaxed and he let out a breath. If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought he was jealous over the mere idea of William taking care of me. And, yeah, that would be all sorts of awkward, so it wouldn’t happen no matter what.
“Chase, this is my uncle, William,” Jayden said. He wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me to his side. I giggled, testing the waters by turning slightly so I could put my hand on his chest. Jayden tensed but didn’t try to pull away from me. This was probably a huge mistake, but he’d started it. If it was okay for him to stake a claim, I should be able to do the same. “William, this is Chase. He’s the friend I told you about earlier.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” William patted my shoulder rather than shaking my hand. “Did you have any questions? I know it can be overwhelming at first, but you’re definitely in the right place. We have a new playroom opening in a few weeks because we wanted to create a space where littles can be themselves.”
“Really? That’s so cool!” Without thinking about it, I turned to Jayden. “Can we come and see when it opens?”
“As long as you have your homework done and the room is clean, I think we can make another trip over here.” Jayden had no clue how it affected me when he said things like that. It made me wish he wasn’t my roommate and that he liked me as something other than a friend.
William watched the two of us, the corner of his mouth turning up. “It’s good to set expectations. I think that will help both of you.”
“Oh, he’s not—” Did William understand our relationship? He didn’t give me a chance to finish my objection.
“The one thing I would recommend, for both of you, is to not get hung up on labels. Do what feels right for your situation.” It felt a bit like we were getting a one-on-one lesson in kink. “A lot of people make the mistake of thinking having a power exchange relationship means there has to be sex involved, but that’s not always the case.”
“So, it’s not weird for me to like it when Jayden gives me rules?” William had opened a door for me to indirectly tell Jayden what an ideal world would look like for me. He wouldn’t be my forever Daddy, but it had been easier for me to focus since he’d started doing little things to take control. I wanted him to keep doing that but didn’t want to feel like I was pushing myself on him.
“Weird is an ugly word,” William scolded me. “There’s no right or wrong as long as both of you are okay with it. But you can’t pressure him if he’s not comfortable making the rules.”
“It’s not that, exactly.” Jayden scrubbed a hand over the back of his neck.
“Go with what feels natural, Jayden.” William’s encouragement helped Jayden relax a bit. “I know it’s probably weird for you, but youcantalk to me whenever you have questions. I’d like it if you would, because I think there’s something here you’re afraid to give a name to. Don’t let fear or what you think you know about the lifestyle turn you away. Try it. Don’t stop yourself if something feels right. And Chase, you need to be willing to ask for what you want, too. I know it’s not easy because there’s a chance Jayden might say no, but that’s a risk you will always take.”
“And he might say yes,” I added. If anything, I worried more about him agreeing to help me, even when it made him uncomfortable. Jayden squeezed my hand tighter.
“But I’m not a Daddy,” Jayden said to no one in particular. “I can help until you find a Daddy but then I’m going to have to step back.”
He swallowed hard and his nose scrunched up like he’d smelled something rotten. Maybe all hope wasn’t lost. William looked to me, then to his nephew, and shook his head as he rolled his eyes. He flicked the side of Jayden’s head. “Or you could live in the damn moment for a change. Don’t think about what happens after, because then you’re going to miss out on what could happen right now.”
“But what if—” This time, William cuffed him a bit harder. “Ow! That fucking hurts!”
“Quit being stupid and I won’t do it again,” William teased. “You’re the one getting hung up on labels here. Let go of that shit and do whatever feels right. Talk to each other. See what happens. Who knows, you might learn something about yourself in the process.”
I tried to not let myself get too hopeful by William’s words. Yes, Jayden was a good friend and, yes, I was developing a bit of a crush on him, but there was no guarantee he’d be interested in anything more.
