“We know that, son,” Dad assured me. “The only thing that upsets me is you felt the need to hide for so long. When you came out, we told you we’d love you no matter what. And no, it’s not ideal that you’re in love with Trevor, but we can’t really control who we fall in love with, can we?”
He glanced at my mom and she smiled. I wondered if there was a story they hadn’t told me about their own relationship. It didn’t matter right now, but eventually, I hoped they’d tell me.
“That’s all on me, Joel.” Dad stiffened at the informality of hearing Trevor call him by his first name. Our whole lives, he’d called my parents Uncle Joel and Aunt Gwen, and his parents were Aunt DeeDee and Uncle Randy. I waited for Dad to criticize him, but he simply nodded for Trevor to continue. “I don’t know what my mom is going to say when she finds out. You have all been her family for so long and she’s always said having Gabe around was like having another son. It’s not going to be easy for her.”
“You’re probably right about that, but you can’t live your entire life trying to please your parents,” Dad advised. Trevor looked over at me, quirking an eyebrow as if to say ‘Seems like I just gave you similar advice.’ Yeah, he had. I smirked, quickly schooling my features so Dad wouldn’t think it had anything to do with what he was saying.
“Dad actually knows,” Trevor admitted. “He’s known for a while now. It was a little awkward at first, but he’s been totally cool about it. I’m hoping, maybe, he’ll be able to get mom to see that the most important thing is that Gabe and I are happy.”
“And are you?” Mom asked. It was a fair question since so much had been up in the air when we’d last walked out of this house.
Trevor and I shared a smile before I answered. “Yeah, we are. I screw up a lot, but at least he’s used to that. And I swear, I’m going to be better about talking to him so I don’t cross a line I can’t come back from.”
I might have been talking to my parents, but the words were for Trevor’s benefit. Tonight could have broken us, but once again, he gave me a chance at redemption. Knowing I’d pushed him close enough that he’d run from me was scary as shit. I’d had a taste of what it would feel like if he left me, and I would do everything possible toneverfeel that way again.
“Good. Trevor, if you’d like to get ready for bed, I don’t think you need to be here for the next part of the conversation.” Dad had an evil grin on his face. Shit. Mom had told him about my moment of insanity and I was about to get the school lecture.
“If it’s okay with you, I’d like him to stay,” I told them, hoping Trevor would hang around for moral support if I needed his help.
Mom and Dad shared a look. “That’s fine, especially since Trevor’s the one who told your mother about the ridiculous plan you came up with for leaving school.”
“Actually,” Trevor interrupted, “It turns out I might’ve been a bit premature in worrying about that. I’m sorry if I got the two of you worked up for nothing, but it was a big misunderstanding.”
“So that means you’re not dropping out of school?” Mom asked hopefully.
“Not right now,” I told her. She grimaced and my Dad let out a disgusted huff. “Trevor had a theory about why I’ve been thinking about it, and I’d like to see if he’s right before I do anything I can’t take back.”
“Oh, and what’s that?” Dad leaned in, genuinely interested in what I had to say.
“He said I’m struggling because I’m trying to live up to your expectations. He suggested that I follow my own path and see how it goes.”
Mom reached for my hand. “Why would you think you had to choose a major that’d make us happy? All we wanted was for you to continue your education so you could eventually get more than an entry-level job.”
“I’m starting to understand that now.” I squeezed Trevor’s hand.
“What is it you think would upset us for you to pursue?” Dad still seemed upset.
“Theater,” I mumbled. Trevor kicked me for being so soft-spoken about something I wanted. I straightened in my seat and looked my dad in the eyes. “I’m not sure what I’ll specialize in, but I want to do something with theater. I took a class last semester and it was cool. I’d like to explore a bit more. It’s probably too late to switch classes around for this semester, but definitely in the fall.”
“And you think that’ll make college more bearable?” Dad asked, leaning back in his seat.
“I hope so.” I wasn’t about to make him any promises.
“And if it doesn’t?”
“Then I’ll try to find something else. I can’t guarantee anything right now. I’m not as overwhelmed with it all as I was earlier.”
Dad pushed back from the table and started rinsing his mug. “I can live with that. But next time, maybe you should think about talking to someone before it gets messy.”
“I will, sir.” Okay, so maybe there was one promise I could make.
“Good. Now, you two go and get some sleep. Tomorrow’s most likely going to be a long day.” He left the room without a backward glance and I couldn’t help but wonder if he wasn’t as okay with everything as he claimed to be.
“It’s going to take some time to get used to,” Mom said when she realized I was still staring down the hall. “He worries about you. It’s not that he doesn’t approve, but it’s change, and we all know how well he handles any situation he can’t control or predict the outcome. Give him time and everything will be back to normal.”
I stood and draped my arms over Mom’s shoulders, kissing the top of her head. “I love you, Mom. Sorry, I worried you.”
“Honey, you may be an adult on paper, but you still have a lot of growing up to do.” I tried to object, but she silenced me with a single look. “It’s not just you, it’s everyone your age. You’re all so eager to grow up that you forget it’s an ongoing process. No one has everything figured out at your age. A lot of people never sort out their lives. But you’ll get there, partly because you have a good man who’ll do about anything to make you happy. Don’t screw this up.”
“I’m trying, Mom.” She kissed us both goodnight and followed Dad to their room, leaving Trevor and me alone. I placed a hand at the small of his back, guiding him to my room. “Let’s hope this is a sign of things to come. Maybe your mom won’t flip shit when we tell her.”
“Doubtful.” I pulled Gabe onto the bed next to me, not bothering to undress before nestling into his side. But it was a nice dream, one I tried to hold onto as we lay in the darkness.
