Ewww, gross. Thank God he hadn’t come out and mentioned what we’d get up to wherever we wound up staying, but knowing that Dad knew and felt comfortable enough to hint about it squicked me out.
“Yeah?—um, yeah. Something like that,” I stammered.
“I’ll see if there’s availability this weekend and call you back in the morning.” Mom hadn’t been thrilled a few years back when Dad got roped into a timeshare deal, but since then, we’d all gotten used to being able to make a phone call and have a condo just about anywhere we might want to take a vacation. I’d never really thought about how convenient it would be until now, and I had a feeling Gabe and I would be making more calls like this until we were finally old enough to rent a damn hotel room on our own. The downside, of course, was Dad would know every time we ran off.
Dad and I talked a few more minutes before he begged off the call because Mom would be getting home soon. I thanked him again and said goodnight. After hanging up, I stared at the dark display of my phone, wondering if it’d be this easy for the rest of our families to accept that Gabe and I were so much more than friends.
* * *
At some point,I drifted off, the phone still in my hands and laptop across my legs. I woke to Gabe kissing my forehead as he closed the laptop and moved it onto the dresser. His voice was soft with an edge of concern when he spoke. “Everything okay? Sorry I was so late. Seth needed to talk, so when we got back to the dorm, we sat out front for a bit.”
“S’okay,” I slurred, wiping a string of drool away from the corner of my mouth. The benefit of dating someone I’d known my entire life was that I wasn’t mortified when he saw me in my less than attractive waking state. “Is he okay?”
“He will be,” Gabe said as he started stripping out of his clothes. That’s when I realized I was still fully dressed, so I dropped my feet to the floor and shuffled into the bathroom to get ready for bed. He followed after changing into his lounge pants and we stood shoulder to shoulder in front of the sink as we brushed our teeth. Little moments like these warmed my insides; we were the lucky ones who wouldn’t wander through our early adult years wondering if we’d ever find someone to spend our lives with. The universe had done us a solid and introduced us before we even knew there was a world around us. Being with Gabe was my normal, even if the evolution of our relationship was ongoing.
Gabe stopped with the toothbrush hanging out of his mouth and toothpaste framing his entire mouth. “What?”
“Huh?” I spit and rinsed. Gabe did the same, then took a swig of mouthwash before handing it to me.
“You were looking at me all weird.”
Busted. I couldn’t?—wouldn’t?—deny that I’d been staring at him. I couldn’t help myself. The time my classes demanded I be away from him made me cherish little stupid moments everyone else in the world took for granted.
I wiped the remaining toothpaste away from my mouth and tossed the washcloth into our hamper before pulling Gabe against my chest. I rested my head on his shoulder, allowing myself to breathe in the faint scent of his shampoo. “I was thinking about how lucky we are.”
“Not disagreeing, but how so?” Gabe slid his hands around my back and allowed his fingers to dip below the waistband of my jeans. The contact had my dick springing to life, but I needed more. Things had changed following our trip to New York. There, we hadn’t worried about anyone interrupting us, there was nothing holding me back when Gabe dragged me to the bedroom every chance he got. Now, I couldn’t get enough of feeling Gabe filling me. There were times I had to remind myself why I was busting my ass so hard in class, because staying in bed with him sounded like a much more enjoyable way to spend our mornings.
“We skipped right over all the getting to know you crap that goes along with relationships,” I told him, curling my hand around his fingers and pulling him back toward our room. Toward the bed. “We didn’t have to find each other and tiptoe around whether or not there was chemistry.”
“I don’t know about all that,” Gabe argued. “Sure, we knew one another forever, but I don’t think it was easy for either one of us to admit what we felt. And then, there’s all the other bullshit that never factors in for most couples. Hell, even now….”
Gabe trailed off, leaving his thought unfinished. The tense set of his shoulders warned me I didn’t want to know what was going through his mind.
He was a master at backing away when he thought whatever he was thinking might upset me, but we needed to get better at communicating with one another. If we didn’t, the minor annoyances would turn into frustrations, and eventually, they’d come out in explosive outbursts that’d threaten everything we’d worked on building.
I let go of Gabe’s hand long enough to flick open the button on my jeans and push them over my hips. As I stepped out of the denim, I sat back on the bed and pulled Gabe down with me. “Tell me what you were going to say.”
Gabe shook his head and pursed his lips. “Don’t mind me, I’m just… it was petty and bitchy and I don’t want you thinking I’m pissed off, because I’m really not.”
“Just frustrated?” It was a solid guess and Gabe nodded. “Then get it out, babe. Tell me so we can work through it together.”
Gabe shook his head, still stiff and silent.
“Please,” I begged, pressing my lips to his bare shoulder. “If I’m doing something wrong, I can’t fix it if you won’t tell me.”
“It’s not you,” he assured me. “Not really.”
“But sort of?” Gabe shrugged. “Then talk to me. Let me fix the part of it that is my fault.”
Gabe was silent long enough I was ready to give up. Tomorrow was another long day and I did need to get some sleep. I didn’t have all night to sit here and try to pry the thoughts out of his head. Finally, he let out an exasperated sigh.
“It’s hard sometimes,” he admitted, staring at the floor rather than meeting my eyes. “I had all these ideas of what school would be like, and nothing’s going according to plan.”
“With us?” A pit formed in my stomach. Maybe he was right to not want to open this can of worms, because I was sure I wasn’t going to like what he had to say.
“That too, but all of it, really.”
I felt like I was screwed no matter which way I tried turning the conversation. If I pushed him to admit he wasn’t happy with school, I knew myself well enough to know I’d tell him to quit until he figured out what he wanted to do with his life. That’d mean he’d have to move out and get a job and we’dneversee one another. If we talked about what upset him when it came to our relationship, we’d reach a crossroads; one wrong turn and everything we’d finally held in our hands would be gone.
