Michael
Following a quick call to let my mom know Dax and Matt were picking up Jagger, and a lecture from her about not being stupid, Justin and I got ready to go. Okay, so he sat on the couch and practically made out with Matt while Dax teased them and I showered, but I figured that was his way of getting ready. Dax had an outfit laid out for me and was sitting on the edge of the bed when I got back to the bedroom.
“You know whatever happens today won’t change how I feel about you, right?” He looked more nervous now than ever before. Hell, he wouldn’t even look up at me.
I kneeled in front of him and placed my hand on his cheek. “I know,” I told him softly. “It’s one of the reasons I think you’re the person I was supposed to fall in love with. But you have to know that I’m going to do just as right by you as I am Jagger.”
“Don’t make me promises you can’t keep,” he warned me. “I love you for saying that, but when it comes down to it, you have to do what’s best for him. If they make your life hell, he’s going to suffer.”
“And if they make me push you away, we’re all going to be hurting,” I pointed out.
I laid my head on his thigh, wishing life were simpler. Thinking, not for the first time, about whether or not life would’ve turned out differently if I’d pushed to get Dax’s information and go up to the hospital to see him after the accident. I liked to think it still would have been this huge epiphany where I realized he was the other half of my heart, not Erica, but I knew that was unlikely. The chances were much higher that he’d have thrown me out of his room and blamed me for him still being alive.
“No matter what, I’m still going to be here for you,” he promised. “If that has to be as a friend for the time being, we’ll get through it.”
“Don’t.” I choked, knowing tears weren’t far behind. “I don’t know how, but I’m going to find a way to do what I want for once. You guys told me that it’s not up to Michael who I choose to love, and I choose you. Now, I just need to make him see that falling for you doesn’t make me any less of a good parent to my son. If anything, I’m better for having you in my life because you push me to be who I need to be.”
Dax stood, dragging me up with him. It was slightly awkward, him fully dressed and me naked as the day I was born, but it felt right. There was no move to fool around, just him comforting me. “We’re going to take off,” he told me. “Just remember this while you’re there; no matter what anyone thinks of you, you’re a good man. You deserve happiness. You deserve love. And you have both of those, for the first time in too long.”
“I know.” I buried my face against the cotton of his shirt and let the tears fall. He brushed the back of my head and let me get that out of my system. When I lifted my gaze, he reached up and wiped the tears away. I wasn’t normally a crier, so I had to believe it was just everything coming to a head in my mind and tipping me over into some emotional tailspin. “I love you, Dax. Next to Jagger, you’re the best thing to come into my life.”
“I love you, too.” He kissed the side of my head one last time before leaving me to get ready.
By the time I got to the living room, he and Matt had taken off to pick up Jagger. Rather than think about what I was about to do, I focused on how much Dax loved my son. And what a great friend he had in Matt, because I was pretty sure none of this was how he saw his weekend playing out. Then again, he’d met Justin out of the deal, and he seemed to be enjoying that well enough.
“You ready to do this?” Justin asked. I didn’t argue when he pulled out the keys to his car. I wasn’t in the mood to drive.
“No, but it needs to be done,” I admitted to him. “You don’t have to go with if you don’t want. I know they’re not your favorite people.”
Justin had grown up down the street from the Whittakers. I didn’t know this until years into our friendship because he’d moved away before I met Erica. It wasn’t until the night of our wedding, when I saw how the parents carefully avoided one another, that I asked about it. I’d known Erica and Justin didn’t get along, but that was when I learned it was because of a falling out between their parents.
“That’s exactly why I need to be there with you,” he countered. “I know what a manipulative piece of shit he is and I’m done watching him hurt people I care about.”
“Alrighty then, let’s do this,” I said with as much bravado as I could muster.
Justin stood directly behind me as I rang the doorbell at the imposing front door of Erica’s childhood home. As we waited for someone to answer, I thought back to the first time I’d stood on this porch and how the door reminded me of the entrance to a medieval dungeon. Like everything about most of her family, there was nothing warm about the house. Everything was about appearances to them.
It wasn’t their live-in housekeeper who finally opened the door, it was the man himself. Even though it was the weekend, he was still dressed as though he were ready to head into the office.
“I told you today wasn’t a good time for us to talk,” he informed me as he stepped out of the door, closing it behind him.
“Well, this is when I have time,” I told him. I squared my shoulders, refusing to allow him to see me shaking. “And given the fact that you came to my work last night, I figured whatever you had to say must be important.”
He looked past me to where Justin stood and sneered. “And you felt the need to bring your shadow with you?” he seethed. “Honestly, are you incapable of doing anything without someone to help you?”
“Contrary to what you’ve always thought of me, I am perfectly capable of handling my own life without any help.” I ignored the twisting in my gut. He’d never thought I was good enough for his daughter. He never approved of Justin hanging out with us when she was there and hated that he was so close to me after she died. “He’s simply here so no one can twist anything that’s said. Now, what was it you were hoping to talk to me about last night?”
He narrowed his eyes on me and I saw the moment he realized I wasn’t the same kid he knew when I was in high school or even college. I was a single father who’d been forced to find strength for his family in the face of tragedy. I was closer to his equal than he’d ever admit. “Honestly, you think it’ll be that difficult for you to keep the facts straight?”
Justin snickered behind me and I elbowed him. Maybe bringing him with wasn’t the best idea. “No sir, but as I said, I felt it best that someone else hear whatever it is you have to say. It’s no secret that you have a tendency to skew situations to fit your agenda. And you’re not above bribery and manipulation to get what you want.”
“You have some nerve, coming to my home uninvited, accusing me of seeking to distort what’s going on,” he accused me. “Fine, you want an audience for this? Let’s give him a show.”
Thomas took a step closer to me. He was so close I could smell the smooth single malt Scotch he denied drinking on his breath. “You failed my daughter more times than I can count. You left her alone in that apartment while you were off doing God knows what.”
“If you’ll recall,Thomas,” I said, emphasizing his name because I’d be damned if I was going to show him the respect of calling him Mr. Whittaker. “I was off getting an education. Erica knew this, and you were all too pleased to tell your friends how your daughter was dating a future doctor.”
“Yes, and how did that work out for you?” he sneered. “That degree is worth no more than the cheap toilet paper at the gas station since you’re squandering your education by working in a bar.”
