Dax
Imanaged to make it until almost nine o’clock before I felt like I was crawling out of my skin. I shouldn’t feel this way in my own home, but it felt anything but homey. It felt no more my own than a hotel room would be. No, home was around the block with Michael and Jagger. But that house also stood empty.
Against my better judgment, I got dressed and slipped on my worn-out combat boots. What used to feel like a second skin to me now felt like playing dress-up. Before graduation, I practically lived in my boots, faded jeans, and simple T-shirts. Now, I’d grown into something more mature. The bravado of saying I’d never change my style just because I had a degree on the wall had quickly faded. I didn’t want to be the guy who made waves. I still wanted to hold on to pieces of myself, but more than anything, I wanted to fly under the radar.
Not wanting to seem too desperate, I shot off a quick text to Justin to see if he wanted to join me. He was so non-confrontational I knew he wouldn’t be the one to make the first move, and Michael was still so skittish about his past that I knew he wouldn’t, either. That meant it was up to me to bring these two friends back together.
We met in front of the bar because I didn’t want to go in without him. Crazy, perhaps, but it felt safer being able to say I was meeting up with a new friend for drinks than that I was visiting Michael because I missed him.
“You sure you know what you’re doing?” Justin asked. I noticed the way he took in my appearance, lingering just a moment too long on the way the worn denim cupped every line of my body. If I didn’t know better, and I actually didn’t, I’d think Justin was checking me out.
“Yep,” I said with more bravado than I felt. “I’m grabbing a drink. And if you drink alone, that means you have a problem, so I brought you along. Think of yourself as my alcohol beard.”
Justin just shook his head. “Man, I don’t know where you come up with half the shit you say, but I’m starting to think I could learn a lot from you.”
And he probably could. He was so small town that he was almost a caricature. He epitomized every stereotype most people held about people from towns like this. I half expected to find him sitting in one of the stools at the barbershop bantering with the old men on Saturday mornings. And he was definitely flirting with me. Had he worked it out in his mind that I was gay? I wasn’t sure, but I also wasn’t about to offer that information up.
Michael was busy at the other end of the bar when we eased our way through the crowd and settled onto two stools in the corner. When he turned, he noticed me first and his eyes lit up. I definitely wasn’t going to become a regular here until he was comfortable, because there was a heady combination of lust and anticipation in those rich eyes. Then, he saw who I was with and he pursed his lips.
“Well, aren’t the two of you becoming fast friends,” he said dramatically. I wasn’t sure what in the hell was going on with him, but I didn’t like it. It almost seemed like he was pissed that I wasn’t alone. If not for the fact that it’d cause a scene, I’d have turned around and stormed out without my drink. I was tired and stressed and not in the mood for bullshit.
I hated that feeling. You know, that one that creeps in when you’re not expecting it? The feeling that someone has just burst your balloon and you’re crashing back to reality.
“Don’t be a dick,” I warned him. “I wanted to come down for a bit but didn’t want to seem like some pathetic loser in the corner. Which, by looking around, I would have been quite literally if he wasn’t here.”
His irritated expression immediately morphed into one of embarrassment. Yeah, I’d called him out on his bullshit. And I’d do it again, because the one thing he was going to learn about me was that I never had and never would deal with people being jealous little bitches.
“Sorry, it’s been a strange day,” he said as he reached into the beer cooler for two bottles. We hadn’t even told him what we’d wanted, but he seemed to know both of us pretty well. He cracked open the tops and set them in front of us before leaning on the bar. “And it’s weird to see the two of you in the same place.”
“Wanna talk about it?” I offered. Everyone at the bar seemed to be settled in for the moment, so he had time to take a quick break.
“Not here,” he said. He was nervous, constantly checking over his shoulder to see if anyone was watching us. That shit was going to end as well. I’d let it slide for a while, but not forever. I meant it when I said I’d never get shoved back into the closet like last season’s jacket. If he hadn’t had a change of heart, which he’d assured me he hadn’t when we were texting back and forth earlier, then we’d work through his insecurities together.
“Later then,” I informed him. I was through not talking. Not talking caused problems. They already had for the two of us, and I didn’t want that to become the norm. I knew his parents had Jagger for the night, so I made the decision on my own that wewouldbe talking about his supposedly strange day that had him in a shitty mood once he was off the clock.
“Yeah, if either of us can even remember by the time my next day off rolls around.” He wasn’t a stupid man. Whatever was racing through his mind was important enough he wouldn’t forget. If it had been something that happened in passing, he wouldn’t let it bother him and sour his mood.
“Give me your keys,” I demanded. I held out my hand and Michael started.Yes, I’m serious, I tried to say with my eyes. When I nodded to my upturned palm, he dug into the front pocket of his jeans and pulled out his key ring. Sensing what I wanted, he took the house key off the ring and placed it in my palm.
I could see Justin’s curious gaze darting between the two of us. Gears started to click into place, and I could tell the moment he figured out what was happening in front of him. His eyes nearly bugged out of his face, cartoon style, and his mouth hung open slightly. It’d have been comical if I wasn’t so focused on what had Michael in such a mood.
Muttering to himself, Michael turned away to help a group of customers who looked like they’d probably just gotten off shift down at the factory. That left Justin and me alone. In stony silence, neither of us willing to talk about why I’d actually wanted to come down to the bar.
“Just ask, Justin,” I finally urged him. If Michael wanted to be pissed at me later, so be it, but I could tell curiosity was killing Justin. And even though we didn’t know one another well, I had faith that whatever we talked about would stay between us.
“Man, I don’t even know what to say,” he admitted. He took another long draw off his beer and thumped it down on the marred wood bar. “I mean, I know what that sure as hell looked like to me, but I can’t get my head wrapped around that picture.”
“What did it look like?” I asked, almost giddy that I had knocked him off balance. It probably wasn’t a mature reaction, but just last night, Justin had warned me that I needed to loosen up, that people around here would see me as uptight if I couldn’t dive right in and make myself part of the group. I figured this was me making Justin part of my group.
“It looked like he was being a jealous boyfriend.” He squinted as he kept looking from me to the other end of the bar and back. And if I wasn’t mistaken, his bottom lip jutted out in a slight pout. How cute. His brow furrowed as he tried to wrap his head around what was happening. Justin took another long draw off his beer before continuing. “But that can’t be right, because I’ve known him for over fifteen years and never got the faintest hint he was interested in guys.”
“Maybe it just takes a special type of guy to grab his attention,” I said, knowing it was true. He wasn’t into guys, he was intome.And damn, that made me feel good. “Would it be a problem for you if he was?”
Justin choked on his beer. He really seemed to be having trouble with his liquids today. I thumped him on the back until he held up a hand to let me know he was fine.
“Why would that be an issue?” he scoffed. “Look, we don’t know each other that well, but have you seriously not picked up on the fact that it would most definitely not be an issue for me?”
Yes, I’d had a passing thought that he might be gay, but it was exactly that. Fleeting. In and out. Gone. And honestly, self-centered, because I thought he was flirting which me, which anyone would find flattering. But now that he’d brought it up, all I could think about what who Justin Fox might be going home with. Where he’d want to go if we weren’t in a tiny town with only two bars.
