“It’s okay, Tony. You don’t have to worry about hiding anything in front of them. They’re good people,” I whisper in his ear, allowing my lips to linger there a moment before turning my attention back to the rest of my adopted family.
Mama and Nona are staring at us with that stupid, love struck look that normal moms get when they realize they’re seeing their child with someone who loves them. Whether Tony’s said the words to me or me to him makes no difference. It’s still premature to voice the feelings, but I think both of us feel them budding. “See, look at them. I don’t think it’s your mom you have to worry about trying to get you married off at this point.”
“Mama, you’re going to scare the poor guy,” Cara scolds. “You and I have talked enough times about my family and this is likely overwhelming for Tony. But Bobo, you need to know that Dom’s right. Nona, Gus, and Mama are three of the best people I know as long as you don’t hurt one of their kids. Consider that a friendly warning.”
She winks at us before curling onto Andrew’s lap to make a bit more room for three grown men on the couch. My stomach flips as I notice everyone growing quiet, waiting for me to tell them why I asked them over tonight.
“It’s okay, Dom. Take your time,” Andrew assures me, patting my other leg.
“Gus, Mama, everyone, I owe you an apology or ten,” I begin, pulling my feet up onto the sofa beneath me. “I’m not even sure how long it’s been since you all made me feel like I’m a part of your family. You never judged me or looked down on me for the man that I am and I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to thank you enough for that.”
“Dominic, you don’t need to thank us,” Mama fusses, moving her chair closer to mine. She places her hand on top of mine and Tony’s. Again, he goes to jerk away, but she’s the one stopping him this time. “I loved you as one of my own the moment Andrew brought you home. And when your father was cruel to you, my heart broke and I told you that day that nothing would change how I feel about you. I meant that as much then as I do now. You owe us nothing.”
“Thanks, Mama, but I really do,” I lament. Andrew was the one who pointed out how unfair I’ve been to the family by not allowing them to help me face my demons. He nods when I turn to him and I continue.
“Something happened, over a year before I met your family and I never told anyone. Not to sound overly dramatic, but the summer between high school and college was one that shaped every bit of my life since then; both good and bad.”
Without having to be asked, Tony hands me my mug of coffee and I take a sip, trying to alleviate the dryness in my mouth. As hard as it is, I spend the next fifteen minutes telling the entire Rossi family about Brandon. When my voice falters, Tony is there to steel me. As soon as tears start to fall, he reaches to the end table for a tissue and dries my cheeks without fanfare. It’s as if he’s honed in on everything I might possibly need and he provides it without being asked.
Surprisingly, the hardest part of the story is no longer Brandon’s death. It’s like I’ve talked about it so much, with so many people, in the past few days that I’m numb to that pain. Today, it’s admitting to the Rossi family that I don’t know who I am or remember what my aspirations in life were before the accident. As soon as Brandon died, I took on his dreams as my own.
“I’m not sure what’s going to happen, but I think I made a huge mistake when I moved to Phoenix. Brandon is the one who talked about finding a way to combine the degree that would make his parents happy with his need for the next adrenaline high,” I admit.
“You guys all tease me about how I’m not happy unless I’m taking risks, but I wasn’t always that guy. Brandon’s the one who got me to try things that scared the crap out of me. He’s the reason I learned to take risks. And after he died, that was the one way I could stay connected to him. Now, I’m realizing that, as much as I enjoy what I’m doing most of the time, it was never my dream. It’s time to come home.”
Looking around the room, I see every female dabbing tears from their eyes and even Andrew’s older brother seems affected by my story. They aren’t pitying me, it’s more like they’re grieving the loss of a man they never met; two if you consider the fact that I have never allowed them to get to know the real me. “Fuck, Dom,” Andrew’s brother, Alex, exhales. “That’s some intense shit, right there.”
“Alexander Rossi, you will watch your language,” Gus admonishes. He turns to face me. “You say you don’t want to go back to Phoenix. Where does that leave your business? Surely, you can’t simply walk away.”
“I really haven’t thought about it, sir,” I respond, sitting straighter as the conversation moves to less emotional ground. “This is all very new to me and I’m not even sure where I’m going to live. All I know is it took a series of what some might see as reckless decisions to see that this is home. I’ve never felt that in Phoenix, not once.”
“There’s time to talk about all of that later,” Mama scolds, rising from her chair. The moment she speaks, she somehow manages to command our attention. “For now, I think it’s time we all prepare for Midnight Mass. It seems to me that we have even more to be thankful for than we already knew.”
My stomach rolls at the thought of going to church with the family. They used to drag me along every weekend, but with my nerves so raw, the last place I want to go is where I know that a piece of me isn’t accepted and is seen as a one-way ticket to eternal damnation.
“Tony, you’re more than welcome to join us,” Mama offers. He stiffens beside me and I crack a smile for the first time since we all sat down. “Unless, of course, Dominic would prefer you stay here to take care of him.”
I curl my fingers around the cushion of the couch to keep from jumping up to kiss Mama. And then I feel guilty for being so elated that she’s giving both of us an easy out.
“Thanks, Mama. I’d like that.”
The woman who is the only mother I care to claim wraps her arms tightly around my body. “I love you, Dominic. You’ve carried this burden alone for far too long. Sleep tonight and tomorrow I expect you to be at the house by noon.”
“I will be,” I promise her. “I love you, too.”
Chapter Fourteen
Tony
With everyoneout of the condo and on their way to mass, the room becomes too quiet. Dom sinks back into the plush leather couch, looking absolutely drained once again.
“Everything okay?” I ask, picking up empty glasses so I can load the dishwasher. It’ll be late by the time Andrew and Cara return and I don’t want my sister to have to clean up before heading to bed. Plus, it gives me something to do other than hover over Dom like a worrisome, overbearing boyfriend.
Shit. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,I scold myself.
“Yeah, I’m just wiped out. The past couple of days have been a lot of sharing that I’d rather have never done,” Dom confesses, shifting to get more comfortable.
When I first met Dom, I thought he was a confident, kind-hearted man who had his shit together. Now, I’m beginning to realize that was all a façade. It’s not that heisn’tthose things, but he’s polished those facets of his personality in an attempt to bury the shit he doesn’t want anyone else to see.
