Before Levi, I’d accepted my lot in life and had convinced myself I didn’tneedto attach myself as half of a couple to be satisfied. Now, I felt hollow inside, a failure on a scale I’d never imagined.
As much as I dreaded the idea of walking away from Levi, it had to happen. The longer I lay here with him trying to comfort me, the more it’d hurt when he realized this was the way I’d always be. My issue wasn’t that I hadn’t had good sex, it was apparently that my body wasn’t capable of it.
When I tried sitting up to gather my clothes and leave, Levi tightened his arms around my waist, holding me against him. The more I struggled, the tighter Levi held me, tenderly kissing the back of my head. “Please don’t run from me, Angel. We promised to talk whenever something went sideways. What’s going on?”
Resigned to the fact I wasn’t going to escape, I lay back down and buried my face in the pillow to muffle my response. “I can’t… This isn’t… I can’t let you dothat.”
“What did you say? I couldn’t understand you.” Levi’s body was still a warm presence at my back. He ran a hand up and down my chest, kissing the back of my head, my neck, my cheek, anywhere he could reach. “Tell me how to fix this.”
“It’s not you, it’s me,” I cried out. “I’m the one who’s messed up. I was begging you to have sex with me and then I freaked out when you did. I’m so sorry, Levi. I don’t think I can bottom.”
“Hey, I told you earlier penetration isn’t something everyone likes,” he reminded me. He relaxed his hold, sliding a hand down my arm and lacing our fingers together. Levi had every reason to thank me for a good time and walk me to the door, but he was still here trying to ease my mind.
“But you like it,” I argued.
“With the right person, I love it. But I can’t tell you how sick I feel knowing you were miserable.” I reached around and noticed his dick was now as soft as mine had gone. Nothing said “night gone wrong” like two guys who couldn’t keep it up. And it was my fault. “I would happily give up penetrative sex if it meant never watching you cry when we’re intimate again.”
“But sometimes you like my tears.”
Levi chuckled, more of a quick exhalation than a sound. Maybe we’d find a way to come back from this.
“Yes, Angel, I do,” he agreed. “But only when we both know they’re going to happen. This is the type of pain I never want to inflict again. Why don’t we call it an early night and talk more about this tomorrow?”
“You’re not mad at me for wrecking tonight?” I needed his reassurance that he wouldn’t stew in his anger tonight and kick me to the curb in the morning.
“Angel, you didn’t ruin anything. We tried something you wanted to try and you didn’t like it. Now, we both know, and we’ll find other ways to be intimate. Get some sleep. Tomorrow’s another day and we’ll get through it together.” I relaxed a bit, putting my faith in Levi that we’d work this out, and eventually, I felt myself drift off to sleep.
* * *
The next day,I woke up with a sore butt in more ways than one. The marks from where he’d taken the belt to me made me smile, knowing I’d feel his presence as a reminder throughout the day. With any luck, he’d add to them tomorrow morning and get me through the night we had to be apart. The other discomfort... well, I was trying to forget about the aborted attempt at losing my virginity.
I rolled over, expecting to find Levi clinging to the edge of the mattress the way he did when he overheated in the middle of the night, but the sheets were cold. Music played from somewhere at the other end of the apartment, so I swung my legs over the edge of the bed to investigate.
Cold air assaulted my sleep-warmed skin and I practically dove for the clothes Levi had set out for me, trying to not be disappointed when I realized they were normal clothes, except undies with monsters on them. I was looking forward to a little day at home with Daddy, but it seemed he had other plans for us. Perhaps it was presumptuous of me to think Levi hadn’t changed his mind after a night of sleep. I clutched the underwear in my fists; they were my only reassurance that I hadn’t destroyed everything.
Once I was dressed, I followed the scent of vanilla into the kitchen, a huge smile crossing my face when I found Levi making waffles. My anxiety settled a bit more when I saw my race car plate on the counter next to him and the matching cup already filled with orange juice. Okay, so maybe I was getting some little time after all. And then I noticed it: sitting inmychair at the table was the biggest stuffed sloth I’d ever seen.
“Do I even want to know what that is?” I asked, giggling as I went over to inspect the toy. Its fur reminded me of the diaper I’d been roped into wearing the day we met. My dick, which I’d been certain was permanently broken after last night’s debacle, twitched to life. I hugged the stuffed animal tightly, nuzzling my face into its fur.
Daddy set down the spatula and turned off the waffle iron before bringing breakfast to the table. He took me into his arms, pressing his lips to my neck. “I wanted you to have something to cuddle with when I have to go out of town. This way, you’ll know I’m thinking about you even when we can’t be together.”
“I love it!” I exclaimed, carefully setting it in the chair across from me so I didn’t spill anything on it while I was eating. “It’s super soft. Where did you find a stuffie so big?”
“You can find just about anything online,” he told me. “Luckily, this one was available locally and I was able to pick it up yesterday. I was going to wait to give it to you until tonight, but after everything that happened last night, I thought you might want something to remind you of your place this morning.”
Somehow, he’d once again known exactly what I needed. Daddy took his seat next to me and started cutting my waffles. The first time he’d done it, I’d felt uncomfortable with him taking care of such basic needs, but now, it helped me sink further into my role. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am for not realizing sooner that you weren’t ready.”
“You couldn’t have known,” I countered, trying to reassure him the way he always did me. “You listened to what I asked for and tried giving it to me. I’m the one who should be apologizing to you.”
We chatted our way through breakfast and I felt like I was in some sort of limbo-land. It’d be so easy for me to fully sink into little space, but the conversation was very adult. Daddy curled his fingers around my hand and lifted it to his lips, sucking syrup off each finger. Then, he narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips and the world tilted again. I had no idea what I’d done now to upset him.
“Don’t you ever pull a stunt like that again,” he warned me. “I understand this was a situation where you thought you wanted something, but I don’teverwant you feeling pressured by me. The only way this arrangement works is if there’s total honesty. Got it?”
“Got it.”
“Excuse me?” he growled, cocking his head to the side while he waited for me to correct myself. I sat up a bit straighter in my seat, pleased we were getting back on track.
“Yes, Daddy.”
