“You ready for more?” Daddy leaned over my back, kissing my shoulder as he waited for me to answer.
I swallowed hard as I worked up the ability to sound more confident than I felt. “Yes, Daddy.”
My back arched with the next strike. I could still feel the welts from the first searing my skin. He didn’t pause after the second. I never knew if the next swing would be soft or hard, where it would land, how it would feel. Tears welled in my eyes and my vision blurred as they fell to the mattress below me.
Eventually, the pain receded. I still felt every blow, but I no longer feared what was to come. I craved it, chased him, dropped my head to my forearms in front of me and stopped trying to anticipate what was to come. Daddy wanted this for me. I closed my eyes, allowing the sensations to wash through my body, the peace and quiet I never managed to find on my own.
Somehow, I was wide awake and almost asleep all at the same time when I faintly heard the belt buckle clatter as it hit the floor. Then, Daddy was next to me, scooping me into his arms. “You amaze me, boy. So perfect for me.”
“Mmmm,” I hummed, a faint smile forming at the corners of my lips. He was perfect for me, too, but I was too relaxed to tell him so.
Daddy draped an arm over my hip and started playing with my dick. He wasn’t trying to jerk me off, just feeling it in his hands, letting his fingers graze over my balls. I rocked back, realizing, at some point, he’d stripped out of his clothes. I reached back, resting a hand on his hip as I ground against his erection.
“You still want more, Angel?” I nodded because I was still too blissed out to find my words. I groaned when cold air hit the places where his hand and arm had just been when he rolled away from me. “Need to get you ready, boy. Not going to take you the first time without any prep.”
“Okay.” The word was slurred. As eager as I was to try having him inside of me, I could just as easily fall asleep before my brain started running a million miles an hour again.
“Remember, you can still use your word if you need,” Daddy reminded me as he ran a hand down my arm. “Don’t want to harm you. Couldn’t live with myself if I did.”
“That’s why I want you so much, Daddy,” I admitted. I tried rolling over to take the kiss I was desperate for, but Daddy held me in place. If we were going to do this, I wanted to see him, remember he was the one taking me. I struggled a bit more, needing more than just the physical connection between our bodies. “Please, Daddy. Let me hold you while you do this.”
That got his attention. He pressed on my shoulder, arranging me on my back. “This better, Angel?” I nodded. “Thank you for telling me what you needed.”
Once my eyes landed on the bottle of lube in his hand, my stomach clenched. We’d used over half the bottle over the past few weeks, but never like this. Today, Daddy was going to use it… there. My cheeks heated, and I turned my face away from him on the pillows so I could get control of myself. I was the one who’d begged him for this, and yet I couldn’t even think of where he was going to apply the slick, never mind say the word.
Daddy pressed against my thighs until they were both on the mattress and he moved between them. I could practically feel his gaze watching my hole. The urge to clench my legs closed was strong. I felt more exposed than I ever had in my life.
A lube-coated finger pressed against my hole and I tensed. “Easy, boy. You need to bear down and let me in.” I shook my head, suddenly convinced there was no way in hell I could do this. With his right hand still between my legs, Daddy bent down and brushed the hair away from my face with his left before kissing me. “You have to, baby. Otherwise, this is going to hurt.”
For him, I’d try.
“Take some deep breaths for me.” Daddy placed his free hand over my chest and urged me to look at him. Together, we breathed: in, then out. In and out.
He didn’t stop until my muscles relaxed, then he pressed the tip of his finger into me. It felt weird. He pulled back, then pushed a little deeper, over and over again until he brushed against a spot inside of me that had me seeing stars.Oooh, that’s nice.
“Going to add a second finger, baby,” he warned me. With as much as I’d struggled to take the first, I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to take two, but I trusted Daddy. And I knew how thick his dick was. If I couldn’t do two fingers, there was no way he’d be able to get inside of me.
I wasn’t sure how long Daddy kept playing with my hole. Whenever I’d tense, he’d swat my reddened backside, forcing me to stay with him. Finally, he decided I was ready and sat back on his heels. I heard the condom wrapper being ripped open and I stilled. This was it: the moment everything would change. As soon as Daddy was inside of me, I knew I’d be his forever.
He didn’t shove his dick in my hole as soon as he was wrapped up. Instead, he lay over my body and kissed me deeply before biting his way down my neck. He sucked hard and I knew there’d be a bruise there in the morning. No longer hiding my relationship from my brothers, I welcomed Daddy’s marks.
“Last chance, Angel,” he warned me, rocking slowly, the head of his dick nudging at my hole.
“Do it, Daddy. Make me your boy,” I pleaded, my voice thready and filled with desperation.
I cried out against the pain as he slowly pushed into me. Daddy stilled, whispering encouragement as he gave me time to adjust to the intrusion. I focused on his voice, breathing through the pain as he suggested. My hands fisted the sheets and I bit down on my tongue to keep from screaming my safe word. I wasnotgoing to bail now; I’d read online that penetration wasn’t always pleasant, especially when you’d never done it before. That’s all this was.
I swallowed another protest when Daddy pushed deeper. I was beyond ready for the part where this got amazing like everyone said it would. I felt Daddy’s hand on my cheek and leaned into the touch, my eyes clenched shut to keep him from seeing my reactions. He pushed deeper and the discomfort caused spots behind my eyelids. This wasnotwhat I expected at all.
“Boy, look at me.” I shook my head furiously. I wasn’t going to ruin this for him. For us. But Daddy wasn’t letting me off the hook. “Now, boy.”
I obeyed, tossing an arm over my eyes as soon as I saw the concern in his gaze. Everything I wanted to say got stuck in my throat. Daddy rubbed my chest in slow, gentle circles, urging me to breathe and tell him what was on my mind. Finally, I choked out the response I needed him to hear, even if it was a lie. “I’m fine, Daddy. Hurts, that’s all. Keep going.”
I expected him to continue, but instead, he pulled out of me. I felt bereft and relieved at the absence of him inside of me. I sobbed, hating myself for being unable to enjoy this with him. “You don’t get to tell me what to do, Angel. Talk to me.”
How could I tell him I felt sick to my stomach? I wanted so badly to enjoy what everyone talked about like it was some transcendental experience, but I hated every second of it. My breathing was shallow and ragged, tears flowing down my cheeks. I curled away from him, hating my body because I couldn’t enjoy sex.
I was confused, because I had been certain what I felt for Daddy was love, but now I didn’t know anything. If I loved him, I’d want this. My mind snapped out of the headspace I loved and was instantly flooded with a host of self-recriminations about why it was foolish of me to think I could ever have a normal relationship.
