“To me, it’s all about taking care of someone.” Levi lifted his hand and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I leaned my head into his palm and he held it there as he continued.
“I’ll admit I get off on knowing that my little boy trusts me to take care of his every need. He doesn’t have to think about anything because that’s my job. And yes, sometimes that includes the sexual aspects of our relationship, but the truth is that’s a sliver of it for me. And as for what turns my crank when you slip into a little space, that’s all about seeing you let go. Yesterday, you were a frazzled mess when you came into the loft. Even after your shower, you were busy thinking of all the ways you were letting everyone down and everything you should’ve been doing instead of being there, even though you gave John your word that you’d help them out. “It wasn’t until we cuddled up in the chair and I told you to sit down and color that you truly relaxed.”
I thought back, trying to decide if that was a fair assessment or not. Levi’s hand slid down my side, stopping just above the waistband of my underwear. “And honestly, there are some things like these adorable undies that don’t need to make sense. I know they make you happy, so they make me happy.”
For the first time, I felt a driving need to be closer to Levi. I scooted toward him on the bed, realizing a split second too late that our dicks were lined up together. Levi groaned and rolled his eyes. “You are seriously going to be the death of me.”
I slid my hand around Levi’s back, calling up every ounce of courage I could muster before cupping his ass to hold him in place. “I want this, Levi. Want to do this with you.”
“Oh Angel,” he sighed while running his fingers through my hair, twisting at the nape of my neck. “It’s impossible for me to resist you. I know I should, because I don’t want you to have any regrets later, but you feel so damn good.”
“I won’t have any regrets,” I promised him. “Unless, of course, you push me away. I’m not sure I could handle that.”
“That’ll never happen.” Levi sealed his mouth over mine. My lips parted on a sigh, and he nipped at my lower lip before allowing his tongue to drag over my flesh. I tried to push back my insecurity, trusting Levi to make this good for both of us.
“You tell me what you want. We won’t do anything you’re not ready for.”
“Right now, I just want to feel good. I want you to show me what I’ve been missing. I want to makeyoufeel good.” Long after I left Levi’s bed, this moment would be the one I recalled when jerking off in the privacy of my own room. I knew without a doubt that my days of seeing masturbation as a means to an end and not necessarily something for pleasure would be obliterated by this man.
I slid my hand under the fabric of Levi’s boxers, taking a minute to get used to the feeling of his bare skin against my hand. His muscles tensed when I squeezed, and he let out another moan. “Is this okay?”
Levi rolled onto his back and I worried I’d pushed too far, even though he worried about doing the same to me. Then, the corner of Levi’s mouth turned up in a wicked smirk. He took my face in both of his hands, pulling me down for another kiss. “My body’s yours. Do whatever you want.”
I licked my lips, wondering if I could push myself to do what I really wanted. Late at night after the day Levi and I met, I’d wondered for the first time what it would be like to hold another man’s dick in my hands. How it’d feel to wrap my lips around his shaft and taste him.
I lowered my head, kissing my way along his chest, trying to pay attention to how he reacted to every touch, but I was overwhelmed by the little sounds he made, the scent of his arousal, different from my own yet familiar at the same time. My fingers teased the elastic waistband of his boxers, not yet ready to delve deeper. Once I felt his dick in my hand, there was no turning back. This might’ve just been foreplay to him, but to me it was a crossroads in life.
I laid my head against Levi’s stomach, closing my eyes while I struggled to quiet the voices in my mind telling me this was too much, too fast. The doubts crept in, telling me I’d never be what he wanted or needed and that I’d fail him in some unrecoverable way.
“Take your time, Angel,” he whispered. “You’re beautiful. Even if this is all we do today, you’ve given me a gift.”
I turned my head so I was looking toward him, and he smiled at me as he brushed the backs of his fingers down my cheek. I told him, “I want to please you.”
I wasn’t sure where that thought had come from, but once it was out, I realized how true it was. I could spend eternity with this man and I’d always crave the tiniest gestures of his approval.
“You do, Angel, without even realizing it.”
Maybe, but I could do more.Wantedto drive him crazy. Before I could talk myself out of it again, I slid my hand past the elastic of his boxers. I’m not sure why I expected it to be that much different from taking myself in hand, but I couldn’t help my surprise that wrapping my hand around another man’s dick was similar to my own. He was a bit thicker than me, possibly longer, and it only took me a second to realize heloved itwhen I dragged my thumb around the head.
“Fuck, Angel, I’m not going to last very long today,” he warned me. His voice was ragged, his breathing shallow and erratic. Knowing I was the one who’d done that to him fueled my eagerness to go further, to break out of the box I’d sealed myself in for a lifetime.
I stroked him slowly as I kissed my way back down his torso. My mouth watered, desperate to taste his cum to see if it tasted like mine. Because yeah, I’d tried that once, curious after I’d heard a girl in high school complaining about it. At the time, I thought it was the only way I’d ever sate that curiosity.
I paused with my mouth inches from Levi’s dick, trying to figure out how to do this. I’d watched plenty of porn when I was trying to find anything that’d turn me on, but I didn’t think porn blowjobs had much in common with real life. They always felt so rushed, almost like it was a contest to see how fast they could suck the guy off. I didn’t want that; I wanted to take my time with Levi, just in case I didn’t get the opportunity again.
Levi’s entire body tensed when I lapped the pre-cum from his slit, flicking my tongue around the head. I hadn’t taken very much of him into my mouth when I felt a calm wash over me. Levi carded his fingers through my hair, never forcing me to take more of him than I was ready for, muttering praises the entire time.
At his urging, I continued exploring his lower body as I sucked his dick, the whole time freaking out a little on the inside that I was actually doing this. My concentration broke completely when I started debating which of my brothers and their partners would be willing to give me tips without an added dose of teasing and humiliation. That had me laughing while my lips were still wrapped around Levi’s shaft.
“Angel, laughter while you’re sucking a man’s cock isn’t good for his fragile ego,” Levi mused, but I could tell by the playful lilt in his voice that he wasn’t upset with me. He pushed on my shoulders until his dick popped free of my mouth, then hitched a hand under my arm and dragged me up to him. “Care to tell me what you found amusing?”
“Not really.” I buried my face in his armpit and inhaled deeply. How in the world that made my dick harder was beyond me, but I loved the way he smelled.
“Too bad.” His clipped words had me worried I’d read him wrong and hewasfrustrated with me. “Rule one: if I ask you a question, you will answer it without taking time to come up with an answer you think I want to hear. Now, let’s try that again. What had you laughing at my cock?”
“Oh my god, it wasn’t like that!” I shrieked. “I swear, I wasn’t laughing at you at all.” This was mortifying. Oh well, might as well let him see me in all my awkward virginal glory. “I was proud of myself for actually sucking you and then I started trying to figure out what you’d like me to do.”
“Whatever you like being done to you,” he responded, probably thinking it’d help, but it so didn’t. My shoulders and knees drew in, as if I could turn myself into a little ball and roll away. “Oh honey, I didn’t realize… I thought you’d fooled around with people in the past and that’s why you felt like you were broken. Which, I’ll remind you again, you aren’t. What have you done before?”
