I bit down on my fist to keep from screaming as my release filled his mouth. I kept waiting for him to pull off, but he never did. Even after my dick softened and I lay in a boneless heap on the bed, he lapped at my skin, cleaning away every drop of cum.
As the haze of my orgasm faded, I tensed, waiting for him to quickly flee my bed with a reminder that this shouldn’t have happened. That we couldn’t do this when we weren’t alone in the house. Instead, he pushed me to the side of the bed and slid in behind me. His arms wrapped around my middle, and I rested my head against his chest.
“I’m not going to stay in here all night,” he clarified, kissing the top of my head. “But I’m not going to leave you, either. Thank you for tonight.”
Calvin’s erection pressed into my hip, and I realized how selfish I’d been. He’d spent all that time pleasuring me, and he had to be hurting. I rolled over in his grasp, forcing my hand between our bodies. “Don’t thank me yet. I haven’t done anything for you.”
His fingers closed around my wrist, stopping me from sliding my hand between his pants and skin. “Tonight wasn’t about chasing my own release. Tonight was all for you.”
“But that can’t be comfortable.” I rested my hand over the bulge in his pants.
“I’ll be fine, brat. Get some sleep. Tomorrow, we’re going to sit down and talk about expectations.”
“Great. More talking,” I grumbled. That earned me ahardpinch to my nipple. There was nothing sensual or erotic about the twisting pain. “Fuck! That hurt!”
“It wasn’t supposed to feel good,” he pointed out. “If we’re going to keep doing this, there’s going to be a lot of talking, preferably not in the middle of sex. I don’t want another incident like tonight, where you start worrying you’re not enough. You are exactly what I want, Frankie. Now, sleep.”
“Yes, Calvin.” I closed my eyes and tried to match my breathing to his. I didn’t want to fall asleep, because that meant I’d eventually wake up in an empty bed. For the first time in forever, the thought of waking up alone bothered me.
9
Calvin
Monday’s talk never happened.There was an emergency at the restaurant that Frankie needed to take care of. I was tempted to suggest he let his brothers take care of it since Monday was supposed to be his day off, but from the cursing I heard drifting out from his bedroom, I knew there’d be no appeasing him.
Tuesday, I was under a deadline and couldn’t pull myself away to give Frankie the attention he deserved. I did, however, make sure to text him throughout the day. That night was busy with Ryan’s practice and dinner with his mom and her fiancé. It had never bothered me to be the proverbial third wheel before, but I found myself wishing there was a fifth chair at the table, filled with Frankie’s larger than life personality.
This morning over coffee, Frankie promised he would get out of the restaurant no later than eight so we could finally sit down to talk. I knew Frankie thought it was overkill to spend more time talking about what we would or wouldn’t do than getting naked or getting off, but I couldn’t put either of us through another situation like Sunday night. Seeing him upset crushed me. Knowing it was because he didn’t know what was expected of him was a slap in the face, because my job was to lead him, to make sure he was happy and comfortable.
“You’re spaced out. Everything okay?” I jerked my head up to see Eli standing across the table from me. I’d asked him to meet me for lunch, because now that I was going after what I’d always wanted, I was nervous as hell. I’d already screwed up once; couldn’t let it happen again. “Ryan having problems in school?”
“If only,” I muttered in response. My son struggling would be much easier to deal with, even though he’d always been a model student. Despite how unprepared I’d been to hear Marisa tell me she was pregnant when I was trying to find the balls to break up with her and come out, we’d managed fairly well for the past fifteen years. Parenting was a cakewalk compared to not only getting involved in a relationship with my roommate who had more in common with my son than he did with me. Add in the fact I got off on light bondage and discipline and I felt as if I were drowning.
“Holy shit!” Eli’s chair scraped across the concrete bricks. He flipped it around and sat with his elbows resting on the back of the chair. “I know that look. You’ve met someone!”
“And how would you associate any particular look with me having or not having someone in my life?” I quirked an eyebrow, because his assumption was ridiculous. Eli made it sound as if I were a serial monogamist. “The last time I got involved with someone was Marisa. I’m pretty sure even your memory isn’t that good.”
“Maybe not, but you just said thelast time, which confirms there’s a this time,” Eli pointed out. I wasn’t sure why I was even arguing the point since my sole purpose in asking him to lunch was to get his opinion on what I should do with Frankie. “So, who is he? It is a guy, right? You’re not getting cold feet and deciding it’s safer back in that closet of yours?”
“Why in the hell would I do that? If I wanted to be in a relationship with a woman, I could’ve stayed with Marisa.” We were an amazing couple. The only problem we had was that we both liked guys and she wasn’t the sharing type. Even now, there was love between us, and I was happy she was marrying a man who loved our son and accepted that I would always be a part of their lives.
“Cal, you know the only thing I despise more than secrets is suspense, so give it up already. And tell me when I can meet him. I need to know that this guy’s good enough for you.” Hearing him call me Cal reminded me of the nickname flowing from Frankie’s lips the other night. Most people called me Calvin, including Frankie, but when he was turned on, it was as if he couldn’t help himself.
“You know Frankie,” I told him.
“Frankie? You mean the kid roommate?”
“He’s not a kid. He’s twenty-eight,” I argued. My shoulders tensed as I realized this wasn’t going to be the only time I had this conversation with someone. The age difference was one of the reasons I tried to ignore my feelings for him, but even at the very beginning, I’d known it was pointless. There was something about his rich brown eyes that called to me. He always seemed a bit lost.
“And you’re an old man.” Forty-one wasn’tthatold. The server stopped by and we placed our orders without looking at the menu. Any time we went to lunch, we wound up at the same place and neither of us deviated from our regular meals. If one of the more experienced servers had been working, they would’ve put in the order a few minutes after Eli got here – because he wasalwaysrunning behind—and we’d already be eating. “You sure it’s a good idea to get mixed up with your roommate? What happens if shit goes south? I know you were doing fine before he moved in, but you’ve been less stressed about money for Ryan since you started splitting the bills.”
“You’re such a cynic.” God love him, if it was a clear, sunny day, Eli would look for the single cloud in the sky. He was perpetually single because he always obsessed over how his relationships would fail while he was still in the honeymoon phase. “Believe me, I’ve thought about this more than I should have, but I don’t think it’s a mistake. As long as I don’t fuck up, I think chances are high this could be good for both of us.”
“And what makes you think you’ll be the one to make a mistake? Isn’t it just as likely he realizes what an old fart you are and goes out to find someone his own age? I’m pretty sure I’ve seen him in the bar more than a few times, and he always has guys drooling over him.” That pain in my gut was probably a knife twisting. It felt like a betrayal to not tell Eli that I’d found the guy who was trading blow jobs for cash in the back room, but it would’ve felt just as wrong to rat out Frankie. He wasn’t a hooker trying to make a living. He was a man who needed a healthier outlet, and I was enjoying providing that for him.
“Again… cynic. Yes, he’s a good-looking man. Yes, he’s younger than me. But neither of those are reasons we’re doomed to break up.”
Eli held up his hands in surrender. “Chill. Man, you must really be into Frankie if you’re getting this worked up. You know I’m just being me.”
