“I know what that blank stare means.”
She knows all too well.
“You went back there again.”
“Yeah.” I walk over to the sofa to sit down.
Anneli joins me. “You have to forgive yourself.”
“I ruined so many lives that day because of my selfishness.”
The impact from the boot Trevor threw ruptured my mom’s left eye, causing her to lose sight. She sports a glass eye or sometimes wears a patch. She has severe migraines several times a week that prevent her from functioning, and maintaining employment. Doctors are baffled, unable to provide a diagnosis, and labeled her condition a medical mystery. But my mom’s not the only one who suffered that night because of me. Josh lost his scholarship and dream of becoming a professional football player. His fall over the banister crushed the tibia and fibula in his lower right leg. Josh had emergency surgery the next day. Doctors put a titanium rod in his tibia, with four screws just below his kneecap and right above his ankle. I don’t know who hated me more—Art, Trevor, or Josh. Ricky and my mom’s engagement ended over the incident. I’ll never forgive myself for ruining her chance at happiness. They both agreed it was better if they no longer worked together. He was generous enough to give Mom a severance package of two months’ salary. Of course, that wasn’t enough to sustain us, so we had no other choice but to move in with Aunt Katrina. When Mom’s health insurance ended, the doctor visits stopped and she could no longer see the specialists to find an answer regarding her migraines. She forgave me instantly and has never shown the tiniest bit of resentment.
“I’m not in the mood to have this conversation again.”
“Well, that’s too damn bad.”
“I’m tired. It’s been a really long day.”
We stayed the night at Anneli’s after arriving in Orlando yesterday evening. I drove the moving truck while Mom drove my beat-up old car from Phoenix. I’m honestly surprised it withstood the journey. I thought it would be fun for Sebastian to experience his first road trip, and I wanted one last hurrah before we started the next chapter in our lives. We checked into a few dingy motels and did some sightseeing along the way. The thirty-plus–hour drive was exhausting, but the memories we created are priceless. My mind wanders back to another road trip with a haunted green-eyed boy. The car I had at the time was a piece of shit too.
Art and Josh have been featured on tabloid news shows and magazine covers, being two of America’s youngest billionaires. I’m assuming they forgave each other and joined their grandfather in expanding the Falcon hotel chain, where only the rich and famous can afford to stay. Art was out of control, arrested several times for drug possession, DUIs, disorderly conduct, and a host of other charges, but for the last few years he’s remained out of the limelight. I hope he’s doing a lot better. I’m still devastated he thinks I betrayed him. I have no idea who told his secret, but it sure as hell wasn’t me.
“You’re coming out with me tonight.”
“I absolutely will not.”
“When are you going to free yourself from this self-induced prison?”
Never
“When was the last time you had sex?”
Three years ago.“Last month.”
“Liar.”
“I’m not lying,” I sputter.
“With whom?”
“Some random guy I met at a bar. It was a one-off.”
Anneli snorts. “You expect me to believe you?”
“Why would I lie?”
“Well, you never mentioned it during any of our weekly calls.”
“It slipped my mind.”
“Ha!”
“Cinnamon!” I hear my mom yell.
I glance towards the open door. She’s calling me by my full name, which means I’m in deep shit.
“You started this,” I accuse.
