I gave her my heart, but she broke it, so now I’ll give her my rage.
I never considered the possibility of us crossing paths again.
When our gazes connect, an internal switch clicks on.
The last words she spoke to me whisper through my mind like a mantra, causing the sleeping beast to come roaring to life with a taste for her blood.
I need her to bend to my will, so I make her an offer she can’t refuse.
Once my desire has been fed, I’ll toss her away like a piece of garbage right after I destroy her, reducing her to nothingness.
She’ll regret the day she dared to betray me.
Her debt must be repaid in pain, and I will not rest until I have my pound of flesh.
Karma is a bitch that has finally come for her, and it’s hungry for retribution.
“Where are you going?”
I look over and see the old man approaching as I climb on my motorcycle. “I’ll meet you in Boston.”
“You shouldn’t drive in your current state.”
I rev the engine before speeding off.
You should’ve died the day you slit your wrists.
Those words echo in my mind nonstop. The first person I gave my heart to and trusted implicitly destroyed the bright future I saw looming ahead of me, but damn if I don’t still want her.
You pussy-whipped moron.
I’m a fucking idiot for putting so much faith in a girl who wasn’t loyal to her boyfriend. I gave her the power to mortally wound me. Damn her to hell for making me believe in something I thought would forever be out of my reach. I’ll have my revenge against her if it’s the last thing I do. I don’t care how long it takes. I’ll finally relent and follow in the old man’s footsteps, becoming the emotionless narcissistic robot he always wanted to mold me into without allowing him complete dominance over me. He’ll know who’s really in charge. I’ll succeed where my father failed. As for the opposite sex, they’ll only be used to sate my carnal needs, then be discarded like trash.
Lightning cracks across the sky, matching my turbulent mood. I travel down the road, oblivious to my surroundings. The heavy rain comes next, completely soaking me. I have a fucking death wish, so instead of slowing down like any sane person would, I press on the throttle until I hit maximum speed. I refuse to pull over if the sheriff or Deputy These Nuts gives chase. I’m a fucked-up rich white boy with a chip on my shoulder, mad at the damn world. Today the beast is born. Art no longer exists. I learned the hard way that nothing good can ever come from living a life of “Cin.”
Eight years later
I stand in the doorway of my new apartment, catching my breath. I’m exhausted from lugging boxes up six flights of stairs for the last hour. The building itself has ten floors. I would have preferred an apartment on the first level, but no vacancies were available. Not one elevator in the building is operational, but I was assured by the property manager that repairs would be happening very soon. At least I don’t live on the top floor. Boy, do I feel sorry for the people who do. The outdated high-rise looks as if it should be scheduled for demolition. I lucked out and was able to rent one of the last subsidized apartments available, so I am grateful because there’s no way I could afford market rent. The one-bedroom apartment with a den is small, but it fits my budget. Sebastian and I will share the bedroom while my mom uses the den as hers. I plan to save money so Mom can start seeing specialists again. Trying to accomplish that while paying off student loans and monthly bills will be hard. To top it off, I need a new car.
“Move it, old woman.” Anneli knees me in the butt. “These boxes are heavy.”
I step to the side. “Watch it, asshole.”
“Mommy said a bad word!” Sebastian jumps up and down.
Anneli covers her mouth in mock horror. “Sebastian, go tell your grandmother your mom said a bad word.”
“Grandma!” He races from the apartment before I can stop him.
“Not only are you an asshole, you’re a bitch too.”
“Is that any way to speak to your best friend who’s spending her first Saturday off in weeks helping you settle in?” She places a box on the kitchen counter.
Anneli is always there for me. After the debacle, my popularity vanished overnight and I became a pariah. She remained my best friend, despite being bullied for it. I practically lived at her house. Being terrorized every damn day took a toll on me, but I refused to drop out of school. I stopped eating, sleeping, and even quit the track team. Trevor made sure everyone knew I was a cheating slut, and Josh, a jealous prick. Needless to say, their friendship ended after Art spilled the beans. There was no more Chaos and our little group disbanded, taking sides. I chose not to attend prom or graduation. My mind wanders to those last dark months in North Carolina on occasion, though I try to keep it from straying there. Mom and I left on the last day of school. We went back to Phoenix and never looked back. Anneli and I kept in touch after she moved to Florida in pursuit of a nursing degree. We visited each other a few times over the years, but not for a long time.
“Cin, are you listening to me?”
“I’m sorry. What did you say?”
