I’d made the mistake of watchingReel Lovewhen I couldn’t sleep. I’d fully expected Dorian to throw me or the resort under the bus and I’d had legal ready to go on speed dial. Well, not really, since I didn’t know how. I’d have to ask Shelby to create that list for me, but then I’d have to figure out how to use it.
Instead, I just sat and watchedReel Loveagain. Not to look for anything wrong, but to rewatch everything that was right, which meant watching all the scenes with Emilia in them. All the times she laughed, I tried to remember what it was I said or did to cause it. That wistful smile. The way her eyes lit up when something amused her. The expressions on her face when I hugged, touched, and kissed her. How beautiful she looked. The way everything just seemed easier with her help. The way everythingwaseasier when she was there.
Fuck, I missed her.
Harrison’s McLaren was waiting in the empty parking lot when I arrived at the beach and he’d managed to take up two spaces, which only reminded me of my conversation with Emilia outside her grandfather’s assisted living place.
“Hey,” I said as I got out of my car. “No Logan?”
Harrison shook his head. “He’s got Noah stuff today. You’re stuck with me solo.”
We unpacked our gear and headed out towards the bluffs on the hot sand, boards tucked beneath our arms just like the old days.
“How’s Gwen?”
Harrison glanced back at me and grimaced. “Miserable. Everything is swollen and painful. She’s over being pregnant.”
“Any day now, huh?”
“Can’t come soon enough,” he agreed. “Poor thing. I wish there was something I could do to help. I’ve got massages scheduled every other day, and we’re eating whatever she wants, no matter how weird it is. Last night was fried avocado, which I didn’t even know was a thing.”
“Are you nervous?” I asked pointedly. If we were going to be dissecting my life it was only fair that I get my chance with his first.
“Hell yeah,” he laughed. “First baby? And agirl? I’m terrified, man.”
I chuckled.
“But you know what? I’m okay because I know Gwen and I can face whatever life throws at us. There’s nothing we can’t do together. So yeah, I’m nervous but I know we’ve got each other’s backs. It’s a good place to be. We’re teammates in the game of life.”
I choked out a laugh at him. “Whoareyou?”
“Me? I’m a grown-ass man who’s not afraid to commit,” he shot back at me.
It was a right hook to the chin and he knew it. I’d assumed that we’deventuallyget to my ‘issues’ even though they weren’t issues at all. But it seemed Harrison wanted to go at it right away.
We dropped our stuff in a semi-hidden area and I peeled off my t-shirt.
“I’m going out,” I said. “No sense waiting.”
I had a feeling that he probably wanted to have a deep conversation first but there was no way I was going to get caught up in a therapy session before having a chance to find my Zen out on the waves. I could tell Harrison was a little peeved that I was so quick to get into the water, but if he really wanted us to do nothing but talk, he should’ve suggested we meet at a restaurant.
If he was going to lure me out of my cave to surf, then I was going to surf, damn it.
The water hit my ankles like an artic freeze, but within a few minutes it felt like bathwater. I could see Harrison in my periphery.
The waves that had been rolling in while we were on the shore seemed to have disappeared the moment we were wet. We bobbed on our boards side-by-side, facing the flat, endless blue horizon.
I glanced over at Harrison. “Just say what you want to say. I know you had an ulterior motive for dragging me out here.”
He chuckled. “Okay, yeah, busted. I’ll admit it. I’m worried about you.”
“I’m fine,” I insisted. “Just busy.”
“Well, as Logan and I said at the deli, that’s your level-set. Whatever is wrong is deeper.”
I shrugged and squinted at the horizon, willing a wave to roll in and give me an excuse to stop the conversation.
“Just hear me out for a minute, okay?” Harrison said. “I’ve been exactly where you are. I know your mindset, probably better than anyone else. The drive to be the best, to prove yourself through your work. It doesn’t leave much time for anything outside the office, but that’s the way you’ve always liked it. Hell, that lifestyle was modeled for us by our fearless leader since birth. But even Dad sees the error of his ways now. It’s why he’s on a speed run towards retirement; making up for lost time and righting old wrongs.”
