"Okay," I said. "Let's go."
The bass hit me before I even got through the door, a vibration that started in my feet and worked its way up through my chest. Inside, Prism was heat and bodies and lights that swept across the crowd in waves of pink and blue and gold. The air tasted like sweat and cologne and something sweet, maybe fog machine fluid.
Ro waded in like he'd been born here. People moved out of his way automatically, not because he was scary but because he was just too damn big to ignore. I followed in his wake, and he had two beers in our hands within five minutes.
"To New Year," he said, clinking his bottle against mine.
I drank and tried to remember how my lungs worked.
This wasn't Alibi. This wasn't some dark bar in Albuquerque where I'd gone alone and desperate, counting the minutes until I could leave. Prism was bright and loud and full of people who looked like they were actually having fun. Two women were making out near the bathrooms, not hiding in a corner but right there where anyone could see. A group of guys covered in glitter were taking selfies, laughing at something on one of their phones.
Nobody was looking at me. Nobody gave a shit who I was or why I was here.
Ro had already found the beat, arms up, eyes closed, hips moving in a way that should have looked stupid on a man his size. It didn't. He looked like he was having a religious experience, some kind of communion happening through the speakers that I couldn't access.
I stood there with my beer getting warm.
Then I spotted a familiar face across the dance floor and froze. Chase was there, the team's videographer, the skinny guy withglasses who always hovered in the background during warmups. He was standing near the edge of the dance floor with a drink in his hand, scanning the crowd.
My stomach went tight. He could see me. He could tell people.
But Chase's eyes found someone across the room, and his whole face changed. The nervous energy disappeared. He lit up, his shoulders dropping, his whole face breaking into an unguarded smile.
Ro. He was looking at Ro.
Ro saw him too. He flashed the biggest smile I'd ever seen on him, and he moved through the crowd like a ship through water. When he reached Chase, he didn't stop to talk. He just shouted something that got lost in the bass, bent down, grabbed the smaller man around the thighs, and lifted him onto his shoulders like Chase weighed nothing at all.
Chase laughed, his head thrown back, hands gripping Ro's hair for balance. Ro was dancing again with his arms up, a grown man on his shoulders, and neither of them looked like they gave a single shit who was watching.
Nobody else was staring. That was the thing. Nobody cared that the biggest guy in the room had just hoisted the team videographer onto his shoulders like they did this every weekend. A few people cheered. Someone gave Ro a thumbs up. Then everyone went back to their own business.
Ro's hands were steady on Chase's thighs. Chase was moving with the music now, matching Ro's rhythm from three feet higher. They looked comfortable together, easy in a way that came from doing this before and knowing they'd do it again.
I finished my beer and headed for the back door.
The cold was sharp enough to cut through the bass still ringing in my ears. I leaned against the brick wall and let my breath turn to vapor under the streetlights.
My phone was in my pocket. I'd stopped counting the days since Joel's last text, which was its own kind of progress.
The door opened behind me and Ro stepped out, flushed and grinning, his hair coming loose from whatever he'd done to slick it back.
"You are okay?" he asked.
"Yeah. Just needed a minute."
He leaned against the wall beside me. For a while we just stood there, watching cars pass on the street, breath fogging in the cold. The muffled thump of the music leaked through the walls.
"Chase," I said finally. "You and Chase."
"Ja." He didn't elaborate or make excuses. Just confirmed it like it was the most normal thing in the world.
"How long?"
"Not long." He glanced at me. "He is very shy. I am very..." He gestured at himself, all six-foot-seven of bearded Finnish giant. "It takes time."
"Yeah," I said. "It takes time."
Ro put a hand on my shoulder, big and warm even through my jacket. "The person you check your phone for. They are worth it?"
