Oliver, checking CamboyChaos in the bathroom, 90 minutes ago
Username: Hercules2210
He’s been too busy to post.
And even I miss his videos and pictures, despite being in the same room as him all the time lately.
I tap out a comment for the first time in a while, even though it feels strange now.
Hercules2210: Take all the time you need. Take care of yourself, Dragonfly.
After Nikoand I have been alone in the living room for a couple of minutes, the sound of footsteps on the hardwood comes back toward us.
My brother’s coming back, and I pull in a sharp breath of air, collecting myself.
I use the back of my hand to wipe off a stray tear, and I lean away from him.
“Thank you,” I tell him softly. “For trusting me.”
Even after everything he just said, Niko smiles softly at me. “Who says I trustyou, boyfriend?”
I puff out a breathy laugh and try to act normal.
He’s here.
He’s still here, and he could have… not been.
And that makes me feel far too many things, all at once.
Niko leans back onto the couch, pulling away from me and bringing out his phone, trying to act normal again, too.
And something about it seems like a gift, now.
Something simple.
Him, sitting next to me on my family’s couch, looking so jaw-droppingly beautiful that it practically hurts to witness him.
Alive.
Knowing that I may never have gotten to do all this with him… it’s unthinkable. I want to reach out and hold him, keep him close for the rest of the night. For the rest of my fuckinglife.
And a hot, heavy feeling lands in my chest.
I’m falling for Niko.
I’m completely, idiotically falling for a man who has no potential of ever becoming my actual boyfriend.
Adrenaline courses through my body, and I feel like I’m losing my mind. But even glancing at Niko’s eyelashes is suddenly making me feel weak, like I have to stay close to him or everything else in my life will feel wrong.
How could anyone ever hurt him?
And how can I make sure it never fucking happens again?
When Aaron comes back to the living room, Niko’s idly looking down at his phone screen, checking Instagram as we lean back on the couch.
“Yo, that picture was fresh,” Aaron says, his eyes instantly glued to Niko’s phone screen as he plops down next to him. “What is that?”
“My Insta,” Niko says.
