My chest constricts once again and I want to tell her that she’s wrong. That she’s got plenty of other people that could fit the bill. Yet…I’ve had a crush on this girl since the first moment I saw her on the court—decimating her opponent and grinning from ear to ear. What if this is my one chance with her?
No, Rowan. This is fucked up. She just told you she wants a fuck buddy and that’s not you. You want the feelings and the clingy-ness, remember?
The fact that I’ve had a couple of drinks tonight is probably not helping, making my brain all fuzzy. But this—the chance to be with Maggie, even if it’s just for a little while, just for a night? I can’t pass up on that.
“Yeah, okay. Let's do it,” I hear myself say. It’s like someone possessed me, entertaining such a ludicrous idea.
“What?” Maggie blinks at me, stunned.
“I'll be your fuck buddy,” I say.Again, who is this guy taking over? Why does he sound so confident?
She breaks out of it, frowning at me and punching myshoulder.
“Ow,” I yelp.
“Gee, thanks, but I don't want your pity.”
“Pity? Are you crazy?” I ask, dumbfounded.
“I don't need you doing me any favors,” she says hotly, standing up and heading back to the path that leads to the dorm.
“Oh please, like it would be such a hardship to sleep with you, Mags. You're fucking gorgeous.” I trail after her.
She stops dead in her tracks and I almost run into her. Shit, is she mad? Did I just ruin this entire friendship by admitting I want to sleep with her? In truth, I wantmore, but she definitely doesn’t need to know that now.
“Are you being serious?” she asks with skepticism and maybe a hit of eagerness, turning around to face me.
“Yes,” I say earnestly.Yes to all of it.“I think you're onto something here. Relationships are close to impossible and we both want to pursue professional careers, so…let's make an agreement.”
Maggie studies me for such a long time that I’m certain she’ll laugh at me, maybe punch me. But no, she slowly nods, and her eyes pin me to the spot. Her pupils are slightly dilated and her lips are parted. I wonder if she tastes like the drinks she was having at the bar. “Sex. No strings attached. We walk away if it becomes too much. Oh, and we need rules.”
“Okay.” I nod in a daze.Is this really happening?
“Let’s go to your room.”
CHAPTER 5
Maggie
Ten Years Ago - Stanford University
I fiddlewith the pen and paper on Rowan’s dorm room desk, scribbling down some immediate rules that come to mind. Is he messing with me? Does he truly want to enter this agreement with me? Or is it just the buzz and excitement of tonight?
A quick look over my shoulder tells me that Rowan’s just as nervous about this as I am. He sits on the edge of his bed, hands firmly clasped in front of him, forearms leaning on his bouncing knees. When his gaze meets mine, he stops his fidgeting and runs a hand through his hair, messing it up.
Has he always been this handsome, or was there a switch that got flipped tonight after my second margarita?
“What are you thinking?” He rests his palm flat on the bed and watches me curiously.
“I have a couple rules written down,” I say quietly.He’s going to think they’re stupid.
“Can I read them?” He nods at the piece of paper in myhand and I curl my fingers protectively around it. Rowan’s hazel eyes roam over my face and his shoulders deflate—not in defeat, but more in relief. “You know, we don’t have to start anything tonight. Or at all, if you’ve changed your mind.”
“That’s not it,” I hedge, standing up and pacing in front of him. I’ve been to Rowan’s dorm multiple times since freshman year, and for once, I’m glad his roommate dropped out earlier this year. That means we won’t be interrupted by anyone. “I just—I want to keep a level head about this. That’s why I think rules are important.”
Rowan slowly stands and stops my pacing by placing his warm hands on my shoulders. “Mags, I’m in this with you, but you need to tell me what you want.”
I nod slowly and hand him the piece of paper, watching his face as he reads the rules I came up with.
