I playfully bump my shoulder against hers and she glares at me, but it lacks her usual fire. “What’s got you so down, Mags?”
She sighs and takes a deep breath. I’ve noticed her do that on more than one occasion, usually when she’s got something on her mind that she’s been pondering. A smile tugs at my lips and I gently pull on her arm for her to stop.
Maggie’s arms drop from her chest and I take the opportunity to grab her hand, pulling her off the illuminated path. She doesn’t resist me and I take it as a small win that she’s letting me hold her hand at all.
I find a nearby tree and sit down, leaning against it, pulling Mags along with me. She lands in my lap with a thud and turnsher head to glare at me some more. I just smile back and wrap my arms around her, trapping her against my chest.
As she faces away from me, I ask again, “What’s got you so down?”
She deflates in my arms and I tighten my grip, showing her I’m not going anywhere—that she can trust me, confide in me. I know she doesn’t have a lot of people in her inner circle, so at this moment, whatever she’s about to tell me—it feels monumental.
“I just—” She groans in frustration and throws her head back, almost headbutting me in the process. I move just in time and rest my chin on her shoulder, ready to listen.
“It’s just been hard…connecting with people,” she admits softly and I bite my lip in thought. I’ve noticed that she doesn’t make friends easily. At least, not as easily as I do.
“In what way?” I prod.
“Well, for one—I get along great with my teammates but we’re not actually friends. We don’t hang out outside of practice and they don’t invite me to any of their parties.”
“Since when do you want to go to parties?” I ask with a smile. It quickly dies when Maggie looks over at me with tears in her eyes. Fuck.
“I don’t, but it would be nice to have the option.” She rolls her eyes at me and faces away again. “And the other problem is that I can’t find someone to have sex with me.”
I choke on air and have to release my hold on her to cover up my coughing.
“Ro, are you okay?” she asks, shifting on the ground to face me. I think I liked it better when we had this conversation without eye contact.
I can’t find someone to have sex with me.In what world? Every guy I know would give up a left lung for the chance to date Maggie.
“Fine,” I say, clearing my throat and pulling my knees up to rest my arms on them.
“Is there something wrong with me? Be honest,” she says. Her shoulders cave in and her long blonde hair dangles in the space between us.
I reach out with both hands and tuck it away behind her ears. I linger and wipe a tear away from her cheek. My heart sinks and I swallow a few times before coming up with the words to reassure her.
“Of course there’s nothing wrong with you. Mags, I'm sure everyone in that bar wants to date you.”
“I don't want to date though,” she says, pinning me with her piercing baby blue eyes. I stop breathing for a second, basking in the way her features are highlighted by the moonlight. Even with tear stained cheeks and dirt on her knees, she’s still the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen.
“I just want sex,” she continues and I pull my hand back, my jaw hanging somewhere in the vicinity of the ground.Right.
“I want to feel good, I want to not have to worry that someone is going to be clingy or break up with me because of my training schedule. Do you know how hard it is to have relationships at the professional level? I’ve seen it plenty of times when my dad was coaching. Hell, my own parents got divorced. I'm saving myself the heartbreak now.” Her demeanor changes, her eyes cold as steel and spine straight.
“Okay…” I hedge. “I'm still a bit confused here. Why are you upset?”
“Because no one wants to enter an agreement of meaningless sex with me,” she says, throwing up her hands.
My brain short circuits every time she says the wordsexand I need to get a grip before I start picturing the two of us in such a position. Or multiple positions. That would be ridiculous,right? And I can’t take advantage of this situation, no matter how much I like and want her. She’s myfriend.
“I can see how strangers would be reluctant to do it,” I say, running a thumb over my bottom lip and biting my nail.
My eyes roam over her body and I try not to think of all the times I’ve noticed her as more than a friend. I shouldn’t have those thoughts.Right?.
But—if what she wants is something meaningless and easy, then, couldn’t that be me?
I take a deep breath and say, “What about someone you know? A friend, maybe?” That second part comes out too eagerly and I wince.
Maggie groans and looks up at the night sky. “What friend, Rowan? You're my only one.”
