She laughed because she thought that was what he intended her to do. But it was forced and she had some doubts that she was the right woman for Jay. For the first time she understood why he’d left her; her life was so different from his.
“I guess so. You’re used to always being on edge. Maybe one of the other guys has a better surfing tip for you.”
“I don’t give a crap about surfing, Alysse. I’m not going to be out here all the time. I came here for you. I want—no, need—to be with you. That’s all that really matters to me.”
She wasn’t sure how to respond to that. His words touched a place deep inside her that she was afraid to admitshe still had. And she wanted him to really be here for her but she wasn’t too sure he could be.
“I can’t promise you anything. I’m seeing now how different we really both are,” she said. She understood that her dreams of the future were bound to be very unlike his because he had never even had a home of his own. How could he possibly look at her and see plans for a distant future together?
“Why just now? What did you see that you didn’t before?” he asked her.
“I thought we had some kind of common background, but I’m beginning to suspect we don’t. I never asked you about your past. We never did the fifty-questions thing that most couples do when they first meet.”
“Well, we sort of did, but the questions were more, do you like the way my mouth feels on your neck?” he said.
She shivered as a pulse of desire went through her. It would be easy to let this be about sex, but she refused to let it go that way right now.
“We both know I like it,” she said.
“No, we never did the getting-to-know-you part, did we?”
“So...” she said, not about to let him divert her again. There was so much more happening with Jay right now than a bonfire on the beach. This was her chance to really get to know him and she wasn’t about to pass it up.
“My family’s from Texas, the northern part near the Oklahoma border. My dad had a ranch,” he said, his voice taking on a reminiscent quality. “Our family had been ranching there for over a hundred and fifty years.”
“Why aren’t you a rancher?” she asked.
“We lost the ranch in my senior year of high school. Had to move into town and live over the diner where I worked as a dishwasher.”
“What kind of work was there for your dad?” she asked,trying to imagine how horrible it must have been to move during your senior year of high school.
“He took to the rodeo circuit taking care of the livestock on the road,” Jay said.
“At least you had your mom with you,” she said. “That kind of change must have been hard.”
“It was.”
Silence grew between them and she realized that Jay wasn’t going to offer anything else. Good thing she had a million questions.
“What did your mom do for a career?” she asked.
“She was a bank manager,” Jay said.
“They make pretty good money, why did you have to live over the diner?” Alysse asked.
“Because she left us when I was eight. Had enough of the dusty, isolated ranch,” Jay said. “Dad had to mortgage the ranch when she left and by the time I was in high school he’d fallen behind on the payments.”
“That’s horrible. Why didn’t your mom take you with her?” Alysse asked. Jay’s childhood had been so different from hers. Her dad had owned a car dealership and made good money. He and her mom had doted on both her and Toby and they’d had a fairly good life.
“Who knows? She always said I was a handful and more like my dad than like her,” Jay responded.
“In what way?” she asked, trying to understand how a mom could leave behind her eight-year-old son. She tried to see the boy Jay must have been, but he was too much a man for that to happen. Any softness in him had been burned out long ago. He was a tough Marine through and through, and she saw the evidence with her own two eyes.
“Just rough, I guess. We hunted and took care of the ranch together. I was his little shadow. Everyone said so. I guess she thought I needed to be with him.”
Alysse hugged Jay close to her, trying to comfort the little boy who had been abandoned. But she knew that she couldn’t. That event had changed Jay. Could he ever trust, be with anyone?
She was beginning to wonder if she was fighting a losing battle where he was concerned. She knew she’d wanted to mend her broken heart but a part of her had hoped to find the keys to real happiness with Jay and she was beginning to believe that would never happen.
