She laughed quietly, and this time not with the strained quality she’d had before. “So...what?”
“So real,” he said at last.
“How did you expect me to be?” she asked. Then she leaned her elbows on the table and looked him straight in the eye. “Vegas wasn’t real for either of us.”
“I know that now, but I didn’t at the time,” he admitted. He’d been seduced by the lights of Vegas and that attitude the city had of everything seeming possible. He’d felt the pull of Alysse so strongly he hadn’t thought beyond his time there and having her in his arms. And that had been a mistake because he’d ignored the fact that he wasn’t the kind of guy that women liked having around. His own mother had proven that point a long time ago.
Alysse put both hands on the table and continued looking at him. He knew she couldn’t see his eyes but he wondered what she was searching for in his face. He knew he was very good at not giving up anything, but he still wished that maybe she’d find whatever it was she needed to see.
“Why? Even I knew it was just a fantasy,” she said.
“I didn’t. If I don’t have a weapon in my hand and a target in my sights I don’t know what’s real,” he explained.
She sat back in her chair and he knew he hadn’t given her the answer she’d been wanting. Still, he didn’t have any explanation other than the truth. “Why did you take a chance on me if you knew that Vegas was all lights and make-believe?”
She tucked a strand of her long pretty hair behind her ear and nibbled on her lower lip. “I thought...I thought that after the glitter of Vegas faded away we’d still have the connection. I thought we’d formed a bond so quickly because itwasreal.”
Fair enough,he thought. Both of them were living their own fantasy and their perceptions had led to...him leaving. Not her actions, she couldn’t have been more perfectly suited to him during that weekend.
“Where do we go from here?” she asked.
“We’re going to date.Realdating. To see if our bond was real,” he said.
Alysse shook her head and pushed back from the table. She paced to the edge of the cabana where she looked out at the shore. Waves gently lapped on the beach.
He stood up and walked over to her, putting his hand on her shoulder. She shrugged his hand away and he realized for the hundredth time what a monumental task he’d set for himself.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“That I’m not sure I can do this,” she said. “I know that I have said that before but the more time I spend with you, the harder it is to remember that I have moved on.”
Her words cut him, but he knew that they shouldn’t. He was lucky she’d stayed for dinner. He knew each date would be a test to pass, he thought. That was motivation enough. It gave him something to focus on, something concrete that didn’t make him feel so unsure.
“Wearegoing to figure this out. If for no other reason than that we both need to resolve what happened.”
“How do you mean?”
“I don’t want to be the man who hurt you and you don’t want to be the woman with the broken heart.”
She pursed her lips as she turned and looked at him.
“It’s the truth.”
“Yes, it is. I just don’t want it to be. But you’re right, I need something that only you can give me, and I’m going to be ruthless about taking it, Jay. I won’t make this easy for you.”
He smiled and felt something tight in his chest relax. “I wouldn’t want you any other way.”
“Do you want me?” she asked. “Or do you just want aversion of me? This isn’t Vegas. I’m not going to have time to just lie in bed with you and have sex all day.”
He hardened at the thought of that. That was one of his fantasies, but he also wanted more from her than the physical. Their bond had started with light flirting and kisses that he still didn’t quite believe were real. No one had ever tasted as good as Alysse or had fitted into his arms just the way she did.
“Who said anything about sex?” he asked.
She closed the gap between the two of them. He held himself still as she ran her finger down the center of his chest, poking him. “This entire setup is about seduction and we both know it. So give me the truth, Marine.”
He took a deep breath. “I don’t know how to handle you without the sex,” he said. “In bed I know what I’m doing and...well, it makes our relationship a lot easier.”
“That’s not a relationship,” she said.
