I cupped his cheek and he leaned into the touch. “She doesn’t strike me as the sort to play on your sympathy like that. She never mentioned it once while we were there, did she?”
He frowned. “No, but?—”
“And she was pissed off with her stepson for even suggesting she wasn’t always reliable,” I added. “She seems to be very independent.”
Nick’s expression brightened a little. “That’s true. And it explains why the man wasn’t happy with us for landing on her doorstep without warning, or so he thought. He’s probably having to do a lot more than he used to. It can’t be easy.”
I shrugged. “She didn’t look terribly helpless to me. A bit unsteady on her feet and forgetful maybe, but if she has Parkinson’s, I’d guess it’s still in the early stages based on what I’ve seen at Golden Oaks, but I’m no expert.”
Nick pursed his lips. “I’m just going to come right out and ask her next time we talk. She clearly wasn’t hiding the pills, so we can use that as a springboard. If we aren’t honest with each other, this reconnecting thing hasn’t got a hope. Right now, Chloe knows a lot more about me than I do about her.”
I winced, imagining how that conversation was going to go. “It’s one way to find out, I guess.”
“Fuck.” Nick rolled his eyes. “Seems like I’ve already decided we’ll be talking again, doesn’t it? So much for objectivity and taking things slowly.”
I huffed in amusement. “Seems so.”
“Jesus, Mads,” he groaned. “I don’t have a clue how to handle all this.”
I took his hand and held it against my heart. “So, it’s a mess. That’s pretty much what we expected, right? And with that in mind, maybe you don’t need to resolve it at all. Maybe it can’t ever be resolved to your satisfaction. Maybe it’s simply enough to sayit is what it is, and the only thing you can do is to find a way to live with what happened. See it as something that made sense to Chloe at the time, rightly or wrongly. Decide if you wantto try and salvage what’s left between you. You don’t need to for my sake, you know that, right?”
Nick leaned in and pressed his forehead against mine. “Don’t I?”
Our eyes met through a veil of lashes. “No. You don’t. You’re perfect for me exactly as you are. I don’t need anything more. You’ve done what I personally hoped for. What I thought was getting in the way of you and me. You faced the fear and your mother head-on. You’ve said your piece and I’m so fucking proud of you.” I gently pressed my lips to his and felt him tremble. “It’s what you want to do for yourself that’s important now, and only you can decide what that is.”
He turned back to the river and grumbled, “I knew you’d say that, dammit. I think I was secretly hoping she’d give me some kind of explanation that meant I could forgive her and move on. A moment where I could say,Yeah, of course you had to leave me and stay away. You had no choice. I understand that now.But it was never going to be that simple, was it? Which means I have to decide what I want to do next and not keep revisiting what I wish had happened.”
God, I love this man.“I think you might have your answer, baby.”
Another groan, then, “Family violence sure fucks people up.”
“It does.” I scooted close and slid my arm along the back of the bench. “The trick is to not let it win and dictate your life. You just have to decide how exactly that looks for you.”
Nick rested his head against mine, the earthy smell of his cologne mixing with the cool green of the river harnessed within its damp banks. “I think I already know how that looks,” he said enigmatically before turning to press his lips to mine. “It looks exactly like you.” He manhandled me onto his lap, this gruff, blunt man whose capacity for self-reflection never failed toamaze me. Then he kissed me until my frozen toes curled in my socks and my dick began to get unruly.
Before the kiss moved into indecent territory, I broke away and scanned our surroundings. A woman walked her golden retriever on the far side of the river, but her gaze was fixed on the path ahead. I wasn’t sure why I even cared who might see us and was slightly pissed off that I did.
“I love the way your eyes look after I’ve kissed you.” Nick turned my face back to his and ran a thumb over my lips. “All muddled and distracted.”
I snorted. “You should see my dick.”
He cocked a brow. “Is that an invitation?”
“No.” I wriggled off his lap and pulled him to his feet. “Come on, before we get ticketed for indecency. Luther gave me a vineyard restaurant rec before we left. I think we’ve earned a treat, don’t you?”
“Luther, huh?” Nick waggled his eyebrows. “Should I be worried?”
I elbowed him in the ribs. “What do you think? You keep me way too busy and off balance without any help, thank you very much. Besides, I happen to love you. Luther had been down this way last year and he just mentioned it, that’s all.”
Nick smirked. “Was this on your coffeedate?”
My cheeks flamed. “It wasn’t a damn date, so stop messing with me. He’s a nice guy and a potential friend, that’s a?—”
Nick shut me up with a kiss. “I’m only teasing. I’m sorry.”
“Well, stop it.” I pouted. “I could never—I would never?—”
“I know.” He linked arms. “If anything happens with us, it will be because I fucked up, nothing else. And that will never include another man, in case you’re wondering. There are a million ways I can fuck up without another party being involved.”
