Billy dropped his head into his hands.
‘Yes, I suppose I did, but how wrong could I have been? I messed up, big time, and…’ He lifted his head and locked eyes onto hers. ‘I’ve had time to think it through, and realised, almost immediately, that I wanted to be with you, that I would make a good…’ His words trailed away, irrelevant now. ‘Look, I’d love it if we could be friends again. I’m moving over here; I’ve got a house share in Clapham, so I won’t be a million miles away. I know I’ve got a lot of making up to do, but isn’t it worth a try?’
Tess sensed that it might be the moment for her to make her excuses and leave the youngsters to chat alone.
‘Look, I’m going to head out in the garden with Barney. It’s about time for our evening jaunt.’ Out of view of Billy, Tess threw a glance at Hannah, checking that she was happy with the suggestion, and Hannah gave a tight smile, nodding her consent. It would give them time to talk in private, to air the feelings that Hannah might not want to express in front of her mum. Tess couldn’t tell how Billy’s impromptu visit was really affecting Hannah because she was putting on a brave face, remaining dispassionate and calm, while she was certain beneath the surface, Hannah would be experiencing a maelstrom of emotions.
Still, in a way, it was good that Billy had turned up because it allowed Hannah to gain some closure from their relationship. From what Hannah had told her mum, it sounded as though their break-up had been sudden and traumatic, especially when she was so far away from home without her family and support network around her. Seeing Billy again might bring all those intense feelings to the surface, but it could be part of the healing process, a way to make sense of everything that had happened in Australia, giving Hannah the opportunity to finally move on.
It didn’t stop Tess from feeling anxious as she mooched about the garden with Barney, breathing in the cool night air and absent-mindedly inspecting and watering her plants. Finally, she went across to the outdoor annexe, opening up the double doors, switching on the low lighting and settling down on the daybed, where Barney immediately jumped up alongside her. She threw an arm around the dog and stroked his fur, finding his presence calming and therapeutic, as always. She must have sat there for about an hour, absent-mindedly picking up the magazines from the side table, flicking through them, unable to concentrate long enough to read any of the articles. She was relieved when Hannah finally appeared, a thoughtful expression on her face, and looked across at her expectantly.
‘Is everything okay?’ she asked.
Hannah nodded. ‘Yes, it’s fine. Billy’s gone now,’ she replied.
‘Right. And you’re sure you’re okay?’
‘Yes.’ Tess could detect the emotion held in her daughter’s body from a distance. ‘Although I could probably do with a hug,’ she said, looking at her mum imploringly.
Tess jumped up and went across to wrap her daughter in her arms, and squeezed her tightly, feeling a surge of love as she pulled her head into her shoulder.
Now was not the time to bombard Hannah with questions. If Hannah wanted to talk then she knew her mum would always be there to listen, whether that was tonight, tomorrow or sometime in the future, because Tess would always be there for her daughter, to pick up the pieces, whenever she might need her support.
5
Tess wasn’t sure who was more excited, her or Barney, as they anticipated Rob’s arrival on Saturday morning. She’d gathered her keys, phone, water bottle, the dog’s lead and the rest of his paraphernalia and put the items on the table, while she went in search of her small backpack. Barney, who was highly attuned to Tess’s every movement, dashed around the kitchen, his tail wagging enthusiastically, knowing that a walk was in the offing, and clearly wishing Tess would hurry up and get a move on.
‘Won’t be long, Barney,’ she said, laughing, putting a hand down to reassure the dog. ‘Oh look,’ she said, peering out of the front kitchen window. ‘Here he is now.’
It was a scramble to see who could get to the door first, although Barney was always going to win that race, and Tess chided him as she gently pushed him to one side with her leg so that she could open the door.
‘Hi,’ she said, her face lighting up to see Rob’s familiar figure standing there. His appearance sent a frisson of excitement along her spine. Tall and broad, he was wearing his customary dark jeans and black t-shirt, which reminded her of the first time they’d met. Then, he’d sported a shadowy stubble across his jaw, accentuating the inky rings beneath his eyes, which had lent him a mysterious, if somewhat intimidating air. It was only when he smiled, bringing a softness to his features and highlighting the intensity of his blue eyes, that he seemed so much more approachable. Now, she loved that expression, the way he looked at her, his arms open wide to welcome her into his embrace. Wrapped in his arms felt entirely natural, as though this was where she belonged, and when they kissed, his face against hers, the gentle brush of his stubble against her jawline, she caught a whiff of his heady scent, the notes of his usual aftershave: citrusy with mossy undertones, mingled with the aroma of the great outdoors. ‘It’s so lovely to see you.’ She ran a hand over his face, appreciating his familiar features, before smiling. ‘Right,’ she added, not wanting to get distracted, or else they would never get out of the house. ‘I think we’re ready. Well, Barney’s been ready for ages.’
They headed down the drive, hand in hand, and out of the gates, turning right onto the lane, before walking across the country road into the fields. It was a route they’d followed several times before and Barney certainly knew the way, leading from the front, his white-tipped tail carried jauntily behind him. They fell into step together, crunching over the fallen leaves, chatting easily, catching up on their news, throwing each other sidelong glances, laughing at throwaway comments. It was how Tess had grown to know Rob better after he moved into the annexe, when she’d slowly become reassured by his presence around the grounds of the cottage, catching sight of him through the window as he left for his daily walk. Soon, he was taking Barney with him, and on occasions, Tess as well, when the act of simply being outside, of walking together, without having to make direct eye contact, meant they could gradually open up to one another. It was during those walks that they had learned so much about each other: what had led to their respective marriage break-ups, how those upheavals had made them feel and their hopes and plans for a new future. It was cathartic to talk freely to someone who didn’t know Tess as part of a couple, as Charles’s wife. She could voice those thoughts and feelings aloud that she wouldn’t necessarily share with her closest friends, who were bound to give her well-meaning advice based on what they thought they knew about her relationship. In a short space of time, she had come to value Rob’s friendship, his ability to simply listen and show concern without overwhelming her with his own opinion. Now, she felt as though she’d known him much longer than the five months since he’d first come into her life.
Even with a cool nip to the air, Tess could appreciate the beauty of the day, the rich, red colours of autumn evident in the trees and fallen conkers and sweet chestnuts littering the forest floor. The squirrels were industrious, darting through the woods, gathering acorns ahead of the winter months. Tess relished being alongside Rob, snatching glances of his strong profile, reacquainting herself with his handsome face as though she was seeing him for the first time.
After walking for a couple of hours, following the paths through the woods, circumnavigating the lake, crossing the little bridge and stopping to watch the ducks, coots and moorhens, as Barney pitter-pattered up and down the wooden structure, eager to move on to their next adventure, they finished up at The Royal Oak in Lower Leaping, opting to take advantage of the sun breaking through the clouds, and finding a seat in the garden. There was a pint of cold lager for Rob, a refreshing orange and lemonade for Tess, and a bowl of water for Barney, and a couple of gravy bones from the dog treats jar on the bar, after which he settled on the ground beneath the bench, happily tired after his morning exertions.
‘Oh, I forgot to tell you!’ Tess put down her drink after taking a reviving mouthful, enjoying the taste of the fruity flavours on her lips. ‘I have my first paying visitors arriving in a couple of weekends’ time!’
‘What? I didn’t realise you were open for bookings.’
‘Well, I’m not sure I am.’ She gave a nervous laugh. ‘The official launch won’t be until the spring, but a friend in the village is having a family party and she hasn’t got room at her place to put everyone up, so she asked if they could stay in the annexe. She’s insisting that they pay the going rate.’
‘I would expect so too! I can vouch for the charm and the comfort of the annexe at Hollyhocks Cottage, and it’s worth every penny that you’ll be charging.’
‘I’m glad you think so. It’s just a bit nerve-wracking taking that first step, after I’ve been talking about it for so long. Now, it’s becoming a reality, and I want to make sure everyone who comes to stay has the best possible time.’
‘You have nothing to worry about on that front. You’re a natural hostess and once word gets out, I’m sure you’ll have an influx of bookings. Anyway, did you decide how you would market the place? You can’t keep calling it the annexe,’ he said with a grin. ‘It’s not very aspirational.’
‘I’ve been thinking about that and I wondered about The Garden Retreat? It seems to sum up the place nicely.’
‘I love that. And of course that’s exactly what it is. Once you walk through the gates of Hollyhocks Cottage and down the path into the garden, you feel as though you’ve left the stress and the madness of the outside world behind you. The Garden Retreat,’ he said, trying the name out for size. ‘It’s absolutely perfect.’
She appreciated how Rob was one of her staunchest cheerleaders. If ever she expressed the slightest doubt about her ability to do something, then he would be there with a word of encouragement or a reassuring smile, the smallest of gestures, but it went a long way in boosting her self-confidence. For so many years, she had deferred to Charles, asking his opinion before making a decision, putting his needs and wants before her own. It was something of a revelation to discover that she didn’t need Charles’s approval and that she was more than capable of managing on her own.
Now, as she took another glug from her drink, she took a moment to sit back and relax, closing her eyes briefly, soaking up the vibrant atmosphere of the busy pub garden, hearing the laughter and chatter around them, before she opened her eyes again and fixed them on Rob.
