He didn’t look in the least bit put out when she indicated for him to take a seat on the stone bench at the front of the house. It went against her instinct to be so rude, but she wouldn’t invite Billy inside the doors of Hollyhocks Cottage, not until Hannah had given her say-so. At least it was a warm evening out there.
‘I’ll be right back,’ said Tess, closing the door on him, feeling a sense of dread at how Hannah might react. She’d only just got back on an even keel after losing the baby and now Billy was back to bring all those memories to the fore. Perhaps Tess should have immediately closed the door on him, told him he wasn’t welcome around here. It was exactly what Charles would have done, although not before tearing Billy off a strip and sending him on his way, but then, as she kept telling everyone, Hannah was an adult, more than capable of making her own choices and decisions.
‘Hannah,’ she called as she climbed the stairs, and immediately, her daughter appeared from her bedroom, no doubt alerted by the tone of Tess’s voice. In her kitten-print pyjamas, her face devoid of make-up and her hair tied back in a ponytail, she looked younger than her twenty-two years. ‘There’s someone here to see you. It’s Billy.’
‘Billy? What… you mean… my Billy?’ The confusion and disbelief on Hannah’s face was clear to see.
‘Yes. Listen.’ Tess grabbed hold of Hannah’s forearms. ‘You don’t have to see him. Not if you don’t want to. I’m more than happy to go down there and tell him you don’t want to speak to him.’
‘No. Absolutely not,’ she said, rolling her shoulders backwards, a resolve appearing in her eyes. ‘This will be interesting. Let me go and see what he has to say for himself.’
Tess gave a tight smile and stood back, allowing Hannah to walk past her down the stairs. Tess followed, a sense of dread building in her chest, knowing that her quiet evening in the orangery, with a good book, would now need to wait until another day.
4
‘What are you doing here, Billy?’
Hannah had rescued him from outside, where he produced a bunch of flowers from behind his back and presented them with a sheepish smile. Hannah looked at them for a moment, uncomprehending, before accepting them, unsure what to do with the bouquet. She invited him inside, where they settled in the kitchen and Hannah dumped the flowers in the sink. She would deal with them later. Billy accepted Hannah’s offer of a glass of water and he took a hearty glug, before sitting on the high stool indicated by a nod of the head from Hannah. Her gaze darted around the kitchen, all around Billy, unwilling to make direct eye contact, but simply being in the same room as him evoked all kinds of emotions within her.
‘How did you even know where to find me?’
‘Well, you talked about Lower Leaping a lot when we were together so I looked it up on the map. It wasn’t difficult to find. When I arrived, I went into the pub and asked if they knew where you lived and they sent me straight here.’
It didn’t surprise Tess. Everyone knew everyone else in the village so you could never hide yourself away, even if you wanted to.
‘So you’re here now. What was it you wanted to say?’ Hannah stood with her arms folded, her tone distinctly cool. ‘It would have been easier to text or call me.’
‘Well, I would have done had you not blocked my number.’ His gaze locked onto hers and his mouth lifted to one side. ‘I did think about sending you a letter, but I reckoned I could get here just as quickly myself, and what I want to say to you, and your mum, is much better delivered in person.’
Tess who had been thinking that she should make herself scarce and leave the pair of them to talk, caught Hannah’s sideways glance and realised that she had no option but to stay.
‘Look, I wanted to say how sorry I was for bailing out on you. I regretted it almost as soon as I walked away, but I was in a state of shock. I know, I know, that it was probably nothing compared to what you were going through, but I panicked and just had this overwhelming feeling to run, to get away from the situation.’ Billy dropped his gaze to his hands clasped together on the table. ‘It wasn’t my finest hour.’
‘No, it really wasn’t, but thank you for the apology. You really didn’t need to come all the way here for that.’
‘Oh, but I did. Don’t you see? I’ve missed you. Didn’t we have the best time together in Aus? It’s been driving me crazy not being able to contact you or talk to you and hear your voice. I love you, Hannah, and I’ve not been able to stop thinking about you ever since we went our separate ways, wondering how you are, how you’ve been getting on.’ His gaze dropped to her belly and instinctively, Hannah turned away, clasping her hands in front of her stomach protectively.
‘Well, there was no need for you to worry. I’m fine. Thank you for your concern.’
‘I know I don’t deserve it after the way I treated you, but I hoped we might be able to give our relationship another go. What we had was special, you know that.’ He looked at her imploringly. ‘I think the intensity of my feelings, being on the other side of the world, then finding out you were pregnant, well, it messed with my head. Sent me a bit crazy. I didn’t think I was ready for that kind of commitment and responsibility, but I quickly realised that I was overthinking it. That what was most important to me was being with you, taking care of you and our baby.’
Tess took a sharp intake of breath, her gaze darting across to Hannah, an electric charge sizzling in the atmosphere.
After a pause, ‘There is no baby, not any more,’ Hannah explained matter-of-factly.
‘What?’ Billy’s face crumpled in confusion, as he looked between Hannah and Tess, before he nodded in understanding. ‘You decided not to go ahead.’
Tess moved closer to Hannah and put her hand over hers, saddened that she was having to explain what she’d been through, but proud that she was handling it so well.
‘No, the opposite. I decided to go ahead but then… well, it obviously wasn’t meant to be. I lost the baby. A few weeks ago,’ she said with a nonchalant shrug. ‘So, there’s no problem any more.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ said Billy, looking genuinely gutted, shaking his head. He stepped forward off the stool to reach out to her, but she stopped him with her hand. Reluctantly sitting back down again, he said, ‘You shouldn’t have had to go through that on your own.’
‘I didn’t; I had my mum with me,’ she said with only the slightest wobble to her voice.
Billy’s gaze swept over to Tess and he nodded, as though in appreciation. After a few moments pause, he ventured, ‘Would you have told me?’
‘What?’ countered Hannah, her face creasing with disbelief. ‘No, I wouldn’t have told you. The last time I saw you, you said you weren’t interested in me or our baby. As far as I was concerned, you wanted nothing more to do with me. It was a holiday romance; isn’t that what you implied?’
