But Alex won’t do that. He could have said something years ago, but he hasn’t. I don’t think he ever will. Which means my issue has nothing to do with Alex telling people. I guess I know that too. Always have.
My issue is I don’t want to hurt him. I can’t give him what he wants or what he needs. One of us has to be the bigger and smarter person here.
Alex rubs his face against my neck, and his lips brush over my collarbone. It’s a strange sort of softness against the rough, scratchy feel of his stubble. He takes a deep breath, then lets it out slowly. His breathing slows, evens out, and his grip on me loosens. Sleeping in here is not what I want to do. It won’t be good for either of our backs.
“Alex,” I say, giving him a little shake.
He mutters something, then slips his arms around my waist and tightens his grip like he’s afraid to let go. We cannot stay on my bathroom floor all night. It’s too small and the ground is hard and cold. The light flickers out, bathing us in shadows, the only light the stream of moonlight from the small block window. I untangle his limbs from mine and get to my feet.
“Come on, Alex,” I say, pulling him up and getting him on his feet.
“Tired,” he mutters, face still buried against my chest.
“Yeah, we’re going to bed. Come on.”
He limps back to my room. I’m sure he fucked his knee up worse, and he just doesn’t feel it yet. But he’ll feel it in the morning. I’ll have to assess that tomorrow and figure out what to do about it. Before or after I lay into him about it, I’m not sure. I get him into bed and tuck him in. When I pull away, he grabs my wrist.
“Stay with me,” he says, eyes fluttering open.
“Alex…”
“Please, Jordan.” His voice is soft and I can hear the exhaustion in it. It’s not the kind of exhaustion a night of sleep will fix, which makes me feel guilty even though I’m not the one who caused it.
I hold his gaze, focusing on his warm hand around my wrist.
“We can’t do this, Alex.”
“I know,” he says. “Just for tonight. I promise tomorrow everything will be back to normal.”
The pleading in his eyes is what does me in. After seeing him break down in my bathroom, how can I tell him no?
“Fine. Okay.”
He throws the blankets down on the other side of the bed, and I go around to climb in. He turns on his side to face me. His eyes are tired, still watery, but there’s the faintest glimmer of mischief.
“Can’t we cuddle?” he asks with a smirk.
“Don’t push your luck,” I growl, tugging the blankets up to my chin. But somehow in the night, we end up cuddling anyway.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Alex
I wake up to stabbing pain in my head and my knee, with an overbearing need to piss.
But I can’t move. I’m literally being crushed beneath—
Vance.
I blink my eyes open, my body tensing as I look around the room.
Nope, no Vance.I turn my head, and a quiet gasp leaves my throat.
Definitely not being crushed by Vance.
More like a Mack Truck.
My body freezes as I glance down at the large arm strewn across my chest. Part of me wishes I could stay here,frozen, just like this.
