“Cam,” I call out, but there is nothing but silence. I walk through the room, opening the bathroom, but he isn’t there. He isn’t anywhere.
My heart slows, my blood chilling as I realize he’s not here.
My gaze settles on the made beds. There’s no duffel bag. No clothes strewn about the floor. No signs of anyone existing in this space.
But I can still see him, as if he were standing right here. I know what he looks like in this space.
I close my eyes as the truth hits.
He’s not here, because he left.
He left me.
There’s no note, nothing.
The silence is deafening, but it is nothing compared to the crack in my heart. Tears sting my eyes, and I know there’s no point in being quiet. No one can hear me.
I saunter my way over to his bed, getting on top of it. I lay my head on my pillow—the side I’d been sleeping on.
The pillows and sheets smell like crisp linen, not like him.
And as I lay there, staring out at the vast skyline, I tell myself it’s better this way.
Maybe one day I’ll believe it.
Chapter Eighteen
Cameron
Five days later…
I contemplate everything about my life as I sit on this plane, squished between some guy in a business suit with too much cologne and a teenager blasting emo music. I’d probably be annoyed if the music sucked, but it’s quite fitting to my mood. The cologne on the other hand, has got to go.
I’m heading back to Virginia, though everything in me tells me I shouldn’t. I should hurt Austen the same way he hurt me. Worse, actually. But that’s not who I am. Besides, would not showing up to his wedding really hurt all that much after what he said? Probably not. I thought we were friends. I thought we were better than this. I guess I was wrong.
Part of me knew what we did was a mistake. We were both drunk and not thinking clearly. But that’s the thing. We werebothdrunk. Why is all the blame on me? Why am I made out to be a borderline predator as if I took advantage of him?
We were both drunk!
Knowing Austen as well as I do, I’m sure he was terrified over what happened. Over Savannah finding out, over his sexuality, over our friendship… but all he had to do was talk to me like a normal human and we could have figured this out. But no. He had to go and say some words that I will never be able to get out of my head.
How could you be so selfish?
It pisses me off. It makes me so angry that he could say something like that to me, knowing I am the most unselfish person on the goddamn planet.
Still, here I am, on a plane back from Hawaii to be the best man in his wedding.
When I left the hotel room in Vegas, I called Harvey and let him know I had two conditions if he wanted me to take this movie gig. One: I needed a plane ticket out of Vegas asap because I had zero money and no way to leave. Two: I needed to be back for the wedding.
Thankfully, that was easy enough since filming wrapped up late last night. They may need me back but if they do, it won’t be for a few weeks. According to the email I got from Harvey this morning, there is another job lined up for me.
I’ve found I don’t hate acting. I’m not great at it, but with a pretty face, who really cares?
Yeah, someone actually said that to me. Didn’t roll my eyes then, but I do every time I think about it. I’d prefer modeling, but if this is what’s getting me paid and keeping my mind off the shit show that is my life, so I’ll take it.
Once we’re on the ground, I catch a ride to campus since all my stuff is still there. I missed my classes last week, but I should be able to catch up. If I stick around, because I’m not sure I will. I don’t want to risk running into Austen or any of his brainless jock friends.
Dropping out is probably my best bet.
