“Where’s Cam?” Alex asks, and the guys follow my fast footsteps.
“He’s not coming,” I say loudly, hoping that will be the end of it, but of course it isn’t.
“Damn. Trouble in the fan club?” Mack asks as he catches up to me, my brother and the guys trailing in behind him.
“He’s not feeling well. Rough night,” I say.
Paul grunts.
“I know the feeling.”
I doubt they do, but I don’t say anything. A part of me wants to turn around. We’re only halfway down the hall, not even to the elevators yet.
He’s probably half-way through a shower right now. I could still catch him, apologize, but…
I’m too scared by the realization I want…
That I want him.
My expression shifts to the one everyone knows, and I hide behind it like a mask.
Andre nods to my wrist.
“Nice watch,” he says. “That new?”
And that’s the moment my heart shatters.
I rub my fingers along the smooth band, hiding the emotion clogging my throat. “Yeah.”
Andres grunts out a sound of approval as Paul nods. “Don’t know about you guys, but I’m fucking starving.”
I nod, my stomach flipping still. I don’t know if I can eat. I don’t know if I can do anything at this moment, but I have to try.
I can’t let them see me fall apart.
So I let my brother and my teammates lead me through the casino, and though I want to look back, I don’t. Because from here on out, all I can do is move forward. What’s in the past is in the past, and it best stay buried there.
All day, all I think about is Cam. About what happened between us, about how I left.
My fingers hovered over our text thread, pressing backspace time and time again. I debated whether I should text him or not. What’s stopping him from texting me?
I shove my phone into my pocket for the last time as I finish my drink. Some mixed thing Alex shoved in my face because he said he was tired of seeing me frown.
I’m not sure alcohol is enough to fix this, but it’s worth a shot, right?
I down my drink, get up and leave. I don’t make any excuses, and I don’t need to. I’m in a shit mood, and they all know it. For once, I don’t have the energy to put my face on.
It’s late, nearing one am by the time I make it back to my hotel room.
My hand hovers over the door handle as I wave my key, waiting for the click.
All night, all I’ve thought about is this moment. Went over all the things I want to say in my head, or if I should say anything at all. If I should just walk in this room like everything’s fine and nothing has changed when everything has changed.
I let out a shaky breath as I turn the handle.
When I open the door, it’s dark; the only light is the slivers of lights peeking in through the window from the over lit skyline.
Both beds are made, that I can see. I turn the light on.
