He bellowed two more times. “John Alexander Grant. Jake Grant, married to my dearest mother Aline. I want to talk to you. You owe me this at least.Please.”
He waited, wishing for his sire’s spirit to appear in front of him. If not that, could he at least have a sign? Something?
Why had his father died six moons after his mother? It was too much.
It had been too painful.
The air changed, a light wind appearing out of nowhere, and he was filled with a sense of wonder. “Papa?”
A familiar scent filled the air, the mint leaves his sire had always chewed. The aroma passed by him, no, through him. His father was there. Somehow. Some way.
He picked up his stones and started throwing them as hard as he could into the air. He fired one after the other at an invisible target. “These are for you, Papa. Why did you leave me? I’d just lost Mama, and then you left me. How could you do that to me? They say you died of a broken heart, because you couldn’t go on without Mama. What about me?” His throws became more sporadic as pain wrenched at him. “What about me, Papa? I’m all alone. Els has brothers and sisters, and so do Alick and Dyna. But me? I’m alone. I’malone.”
He set his face in his hands and forced the tears back, bellowing his frustration.
“Nay, you’re not alone, son,” said a familiar voice. He whirled around to see his grandpapa standing next to the doorway. “You’ve never been alone.”
The two lairds came out behind Grandpapa. Uncle Jamie and Uncle Connor.
“Alasdair, you’re not alone,” his grandsire said. “We’re all here for you. Aye, you’ve had a difficult year, losing your mother and your father.”
“And I still miss my grandmama.” He looked at Grandpapa sheepishly, hating to bring up a painful memory, but he’d loved Grandmama Maddie, too. “Aye, it was five years ago, Grandpapa, but she was my only grandmother.” He’d never known his mother’s parents.
“Any time you have questions or would like to talk—about anything—you can come to me,” Uncle Jamie said. “Jake was my twin brother. I knew him better than anyone, and I’m pretty sure if you ask me something, I’ll know how he would answer.”
Uncle Connor said, “And he was my dear brother. I always looked up to him. I’m here for you whenever you want.”
Alasdair hung his shoulders. He hated to complain, hated to let anyone know how much it hurt. After all, they’d suffered their own losses. But he realized now how much he’d needed to hear this from them. “My thanks to both of you.” He noticed his grandfather give a nod to his uncles.
They came over and clasped his shoulder, one at a time, then left him alone with his grandfather.
“He left me alone, Grandpapa. He died of a broken heart, they say. Why couldn’t he have waited another year or two for me? I don’t have anyone else.”
“Son, and I call you that because you remind me so much of my dear son. Aunt Jennie said his heart gave out. In fact, she thinks his heart was too big. She always felt there was something wrong there. His heartbeat didn’t sound the way it should. In the end, working in the lists all the time and going to battle was too much for his heart. He didn’t leave you on purpose, and if he’d been given the choice, he would have stayed, just for you.”
This time, he couldn’t stop the tears from flooding his cheeks. He sobbed, moaning at the pain of losing both his mother and father. He had loved them both so much, and the hurt of losing them was nearly unbearable.
He grabbed himself around the waist and shouted, “Grandsire, if Papa were here, what would he tell me to do? I just don’t know. I don’t know how to move forward.”
His grandfather thought for a long time. Finally, he said, “Jake would tell you not to be afraid to live your life. Not once did he ever regret marrying your mother or having you. You brought them both so much joy. He would want you to marry, love someone, and find someone who could love you back…though that may not always be easy.”
Alasdair laughed at the jest, finally smiling. “Grandpapa, I wish I could make you stay with us for many more years.”
Alexander Grant leaned over the parapets and said, “As long as I’m still needed here, I’m not going to rush off. Aye, I’m an old man, but I have much to do. And Maddie keeps telling me I must stay for a few more years and a few more reasons.”
“What? Grandmama talks to you?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I’ve told you about the dreams before, when she warns me of things to come. But she also comes just to visit, on occasion. When I wake from those dreams, I can still feel her in my arms…” He paused to gather his composure, clearing his throat. “’Tis wonderful to feel as one with a woman, but ’tis how I always felt with her. She was a special woman, and I like to think she’s become a special angel. It may sound foolish to others, but ’tis how I continue on. I know not if it’s true, or if it’s just my way of keeping her near. Either way, I listen to her. And if you marry someday, you’ll listen to your wife, too.”
“Why would Grandmama want you to stay?”
“I’ll tell you one reason. It’s to meet our great-grandbairns and read them her storybooks.”
“My bairns?”
“And Els and Alick and Dyna’s. All of them. You must remember the picture books your grandmama drew for the young ones. She loved spending time with the young lads and lasses in our clan, just as she did with her bairns and her grandbairns. She always considered herself the protector of bairns.”
He couldn’t help but smile. He had many loving memories of sitting on his grandmother’s lap and listening to her stories. The grandbairns had often fought for the right to be the lucky one allowed to sit on her lap. “I miss her.”
