“Doyou?” she snapped back.
“Yes.”
“Oh.” That actually surprised her, it knocked her off her emotional high horse. She was sure he’d say no. “Okay.”
“What names were you thinking about?”
“I wasn’t, that’s the problem. I was thinking that, for something I’ve wanted all my life, you would think that I would have thought of names, but I haven’t. I have no idea what to name this person.”
AJ didn’t respond at first, letting the statement hang suspended between them, then finally he stated, “You have time.”
“Peoplethinkthat they have time, but then a day turns into a week, a week turns into a month, and pretty soon nine months have flown by.” Poppy took a breath, and there was a tremor in her voice as she continued, “Naming a human is ahugeresponsibility. Names are important. Ihatedmy name growing up. Kids made fun of it. I never thought I could have a serious job because who would take someone named Poppy seriously? Can you imagine a CEO named Poppy?”
“Yes. Poppy Gustafsson, CEO of Darktrace, was awarded the OBE for services to cybersecurity.”
She sighed and leaned her head back against the headrest. Of course, AJ would know a CEO named Poppy.
“That wasn’t your point,” he stated as if he was only just figuring that out.
“No,” she confirmed. “It wasn’t.”
“That was a specific, non-literal, rhetorical question meant to demonstrate the broader challenges you faced having an obscure, unique name.”
“Yes,” she confirmed.
A few moments of silence passed before AJ spoke. “I like your name. It reminds me of my favorite painting by Vincent Van Gogh.”
“He did sunflowers,” Poppy corrected him.
“He did do sunflowers. He also did Field of Poppies.”
“Oh.” Why the fuck would she correct AJ aboutanythingwhen he was literally the smartest person she knew? She could add that to the empirical evidence of her stupidity, which was another reason she was probably going to mess this up. “I should know that since it’s my name, and I took art history my freshman year of college. If I didn’t even know that Van Gogh had painted poppies, how can I be trusted to name, much lessraise,a whole person?”
Poppy recognized the change in her breathing pattern. The octave shift in her voice. It was higher. She was panicking.
AJ remained calm, soothing, and steady. “Art knowledge is not a prerequisite for motherhood or an indicator as to whether or not you’ll be a good parent. And you are not?—”
“Well, maybe it should be,” Poppy argued back, cutting him off. “I mean, how many people’s lives have been ruined because of their name? It’s a person’s entire identity.”
Poppy had been so upset the entire drive she didn’t even realize how close they were to home when they pulled up the driveway of AJ’s Airbnb.
He didn’t turn off the engine, he just sat in place, the engine idling. “It’s natural to feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to feel relieved, happy, scared, and grateful all at the same time.”
She blinked up at him. “I’m not—” She started to argue but then realized every single one of those emotions was fighting forfirst place just below the surface. “Okay, yeah, I guess maybe I’m overwhelmed.”
He turned to face her. “You are not alone. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. And when you’re ready, your family will be here for you, too.”
Tears began to well in her eyes, and she looked down at her hand resting on her belly, and she inhaled. Poppy knew that he meant what he was saying—he would be there for her, and so would her family—but she still felt like she was doing this alone. She’d always pictured doing this with a partner, someone who they’d planned this together, and they came up with a birthing plan, and she knew that AJ would be there for her, and he’d do the right thing by the baby, and for that she was luckier than a lot of women, but still… it was just not how she thought it was going to be.
“Dylan.”
Her head spun towards him. “What?”
“The name. For our baby. Dylan.”
What had started as a little bit of moisture filling her lower lids was now huge puddles. Dylan. That was the perfect name. Treating Dylan was the first time in Poppy’s life she ever felt good at anything, she ever felt like she mattered, or she ever felt like if she didn’t wake up in the morning someone on earth would miss her. Of course her baby should be named Dylan. Her bottom lip trembled. “What if it’s a girl?”
“Dylan,” he stated again.
