There’s something brutally ironic about constantly traveling, meeting new people and always being around others, yet feeling utterly alone. Keeping people at such a distance so they don’t know who you really are. It’s exhausting and I’m ready for a change.
Seattle will be a perfect restart for me.
“They have no clue. We’ve kept all the personal stuff out of it. They don’t know where I live or what I do. They still don’tknow my last name,” I finally reply, relieved I can see the hotel just a few feet in front of me.
“This is sudden. That’s all I’m saying.” I glance into the screen, Kobi’s emerald green eyes pierce through me with concern.
I stop in front of the building, the look reflected in the bottom corner of my thumbnail is vulnerable, honest. “I’ve missed this. This type of connection. I missed caring about someone so deeply that making them a priority was easy.” He smiles back at me at the admission. Even with his pushback on my whirlwind romance I can see the happiness behind his eyes.
He was closest with me and Celeste. After everything happened he sort of took on the big brother role in my life. It was a strange feeling at first, being that I’m an only child, but he’s always kept an eye on me and made sure I was okay. Because I think out of all my friends, he always knew deep down, I was never okay.
I don’t need his approval on this, but I really want his support.
“Well, tell them then. Make sure they know how you feel and do whatever you need to do to make it work.”
I can’t stop the shit-eating grin that beams over my face. “I gotta run, I’m heading back into the hotel.”
“Have fun brother, call me later.”
“Thanks Kob,” I say, still smiling as I end the call. Tapping the ‘up’ button on the elevator, it dings and opens immediately and I step in.
I wonder if they’re awake or still sleeping. If I were to guess Hannah is still sleeping but Ethan is probably awake and overthinking every single moment from last night. Probably pacing the room with his coffee, debating on all the ways he will try and ignore me today. Ignore his feelings.
But I won’t let him.
Not anymore.
I’m out of the elevator even before the echo of the ding fades.
My heart beats wildly out of my chest with nerves. I know we have something but thinking them is completely different than admitting the words out loud.
Maybe I’ll sign it to them instead, proving to them it’s just another way this is meant to be. That we were destined to meet, to explore this.
Scanning my keycard, a low buzz and green light grant me entry and I step through the door cautiously.
The curtain is pulled slightly open allowing a sliver of light through the dark room and a lamp in the corner is lit. One I didn’t turn on, so I know someone is or was awake.
It’s eerily quiet though. Uncomfortably quiet. There’s a stillness in the air that’s only present when no one else is.
I get a sinking feeling in my stomach, one that pulls it down with such force it ricochets to my throat.
The low hum of the miniature refrigerator is the only sound in the room and Hannah’s clothes that were strewed along the floor are gone.
“No,” the words come out breathy. Defeated.
I rush to the bedroom but I already know. I know before opening the door. I know before my eyes take in the bare, unmade bed and I know before I see the empty closet with only my backpack sitting there. I know as I plop down on the edge of the cold mattress and suck in the stale air that they left and they have no plans of coming back.
I know all of this, but my heart feels like it breaks all the same.
27
DANE
One Month Later
Itake in a deep breath before I chipmunk my cheeks and exhale. I’ve been having to do that more often lately as the first day of class gets closer.
It’s not that I’m nervous about teaching. I’ve been contracted by companies in the past that have acquired my code and I often put together presentations for a multitude of different teams within those companies. So that part is nothing new.
