His tongue darts out, wetting his bottom lip and the feral look in his eyes is a complete reflection of my own.
Our bodies slowly eat up the space between us as my eyes bounce between his lips and eyes. The incessant flipping that was happening in my stomach earlier is now replaced with an amusement park of roller coasters, going nonstop and uncontrollably faster, as Jasper slowly leans closer to me.
With his hair pulled back, it shows off the sharp features of his chiseled jawline and high cheekbones. His face is never clean shaven and almost always has the short stubble that looks like he forgot to shave, even though I know he does because the short blonde shavings are always left in our shared bathroom sink, and I always find myself cleaning them up for him.
The darkness of his pupils are invading the crystal green color of his irises, giving him the look of a wild animal instead of the playful Jasper I’m used to seeing. They’re usually light and perky. But now, they’re dark and needy, laced with a trepidation I’m not used to.
And I realize for the first time since I’ve known Jasper, he’s nervous. His breath is labored with heavy short breaths and his eyes dance around every corner of my face as if committing it to memory.
I lean closer, as if to comfort him but I feel resistance as Jasper pulls back and my heart drops, fearing rejection. Hishead moves slowly from side to side, like he’s talking himself out of it, then he sucks in a commanding breath, whispering, “I’ve wanted to do this for so fucking long,” then he crashes his lips against mine.
An unruly, guttural moan escapes my body and I wish I could take it back, until I hear Jasper release one of his own. My lips part further as his tongue dips into my mouth and the sensation is so unbelievably foreign yet so fucking incredible, I can’t help but push my hips into Abby, needing more, begging for more.
A mix of the cedar, sage scent I know so well of him engulfs me again today and I flashback to our discretions in the dark in my room earlier and my cock twitches at the thought.
Abby rolls her hips into mine and I have to grip her hips to hold her in place because I will absolutely lose all control if Jasper keeps kissing me like this while she does that.
A muffled, “fuck,” comes out between my lips. I never want this to stop.
The sensation I have can only be described as Jasper said. It’s the same feeling I get when kissing a woman. The same powerful desire, the stomach flip. All of it is there.
My eyebrows pinch together, as if confused by the thought. I break our kiss and dip my chin to my chest, peering down to avoid eye contact.
I shouldn’t feel ashamed of these feelings but I do. I shouldn’t like any of this. I internally scold myself, blinking quickly trying to pull myself together.
Jasper’s fingers grip my face, forcing me to look at him and I hate that he’s doing that. He’s not giving me a chance to work through my puzzled thoughts, the ones making me pull away from both Abby and Jasper. And I don’t want to allow myself to look over at Major to try and figure out what he might be thinking.
But when my eyes connect with Jaspers, he’s still feral and needy. They’re just laced with a concern I can relate to, and I see him trying to understand that I need time. But because it’s Jasper, he doesn’t give it to me.
“Don’t you do that.” He shakes his head at me. “I know what you’re thinking and you need to knock it the fuck off, right now.”
His eyes flicker between my eyes and lips again and I see how much restraint he has with himself. This time it isn’t a dare that’s pulling us together, it’s his choice, and maybe mine too. I can’t tell if I’m leaning into him too, or if I’m frozen in time, afraid to do anything to take me out of this moment.
A loud buzzing suddenly takes over the space around us and something begins to vibrate on my leg. Abby’s breath hitches as she startles and now my brows really pinch in confusion. I look down between where Abby is straddling me and where the vibration is coming from and I see Jasper do the same. Then a ringing sound echoes through the room and she jumps, patting the back of her pocket as she reaches for her phone.
“I’m so sorry. I have to take this,” she says, answering her phone, then whips one leg over my body and stands walking away from Jasper and I, leaving him kneeling on the ground next to my chair in an awkward ending to that mind-blowing kiss.
I rip my eyes away from Jasper, afraid of what I’ll feel and see when I look at him. Without theAbby wall of infinite protectionI feel exposed, vulnerable, and I’m not sure I can do anything without her here.
I avoid him by glancing over to Major, wondering what he’s thinking and it’s clear he’s just as confused as I am. But where my expression is laced with confusion and fear, his is different.
And I realize when he side-eyes a glance at Abby as she walks toward the front entrance, that she’s the one causing his confusion, not from what Jasper and I just did. His expressionfades quickly, as most do with Major, then he presses into his heels, standing to his full height.
“It’s about fucking time you two did that,” he says, as he passes by us to follow Abby.
CHAPTER 18
SOME TRADITIONS CAN USE AN UPGRADE, IN THE FORM OF THREE TEMPTING FIREMEN
ABBY
“Cami, it’s our tradition,” I remind her, a little begging in my tone.
“I know, I’m sorry, but my sister can really use the help today.” Her response is a bit clipped and I don’t know if I’m reading more into it or if I’m just being extra sensitive.
“I can help,” I say as more of a question than a statement, further clarifying my needy tone.
I really don’t want to spend Christmas Eve alone. I already spend Christmas day by myself and have for the last two years.
