He’s annoyingly persuasive and I usually have much more willpower when it comes to doing something I don’t feel like doing.
But, it doesn’t have anything to do with not wanting to play a silly board game and more to do with the fact that I want—and don’t want—more time with Abby.
I want to pursue her, but so do my guys. I should back off, but my body is pushing me in one direction while my mind is pulling me in the other.
There’s just something about her. Not just in her magnetic personality but something is telling me to take the leap with her. To see how open she is…sexually.
Considering how my ex-wife responded to me opening up to her about my sexual desires, I’m a little gun shy dropping that bomb in the form of a question to Abby.
Jasper has opened up to me in the past. Hell, he’s open with everyone but he’s told me about his escapades with both men and women and I know this is something he’d be open for.
He’s offered more than once to be the exhibitionist in my voyeur fantasy. I’ve considered taking him up on that and we came close once when we both went out for his birthday a few months back.
By the end of the night, the girl that we were both interested in had far too much to drink for either one of us to feel good about taking her home. So, we opted to get her an Uber and he and I went our separate ways. But, I’ve been daydreaming about fulfilling that fantasy ever since.
Admittedly, my thoughts have gone beyond just watching. Even though I don’t have any desire to be with another man, I wouldn’t have any issues joining in, taking turns pleasing a woman. Especially after getting my fill of watching them together.
But, it’s always just been thoughts, wet dreams, wishful thinking. Never something I’ve thought of seriously pursuing with anyone specific, until I saw Abby today. I’ve never had a woman bring out this craving more than she does. And seeing her with both Jasper and Wade has my mind reeling in more taboo thoughts than I’d like to admit.
I have no idea what’s going on between Jasper and Wade, but seeing the push and pull with them lately, and that goddamn sexual tension between each other, has me wanting a front row seat when something finally happens.
Add Abby to the mix, “Fucking Christ.” I can’t help but say that out loud. It would be like Oppenheimer testing the first atomic bomb. So tense,soexplosive.
A pipe dream, I’m sure.
But surprisingly, I’m actually more secure in Abby’s response than I am Wade’s. Even though my gut tells me Wade wants exactly what I’m dreaming of, he’s just too fucking stubborn to open up.
I know his ex-girlfriend hurt him and I know he juggles so much responsibility. But, if I could just get him to loosen up a bit and potentially act on the crush that I know he has for Jasper—and now Abby—I think that would help him in so many ways.
My back is toward the door as I place all the board game options on the coffee table when I hear Jasper return.
“Hey Jas, take it easy on Wade if he doesn’t feel like playing. I’m sure he’s just working through—” I stop when I turn around and see Wade standing in the doorway, waiting for me to finish that sentence.
“Working through what?” he asks calmly, factually.
I crane my neck to look behind him confused, because I was certain Jasper would return first.
“You know how insistent Jasper is. I was just trying to tell him to not push too much,” I reply, hoping he won’t ask anything more so I don’t need to open up that can of worms with him right now.
“What am I working through?” He's staring at me, jaw clenched and his gaze is serious, silently demanding an answer.
I could lie.
But I’m not going to.
“Working through your crush on Abby…” I reply and pause as his face softens. “And Jasper,” I add, and his face tightens again.
I can’t help the passing look of disappointment that crosses my face.
I get it, I do. He’s not comfortable with his feelings. Maybe he doesn’t understand them. But I’m giving him the perfect chance to talk about it.
He must see the plea in my face to open up, to say anything; that I’m here to listen to whatever he wants to say out loud because he nods.
My eyes saucer in surprise.
He’s staring straight down at the floor, avoiding all eye contact but he’sactuallynodding.
His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows thickly and finally says, “Yeah.”
