My dad and I don’t have secrets between the two of us. I’m definitely a daddy’s girl and idolized him growing up. It’s oneof the many reasons I spent all of my time in the garage with him when he was working instead of hanging out at the house with the incubator.
“Things are the same between us. He’s not ready to listen to what I have to say and that’s okay. We’ll either get through this together or we’ll co-parent our son while living our lives separately as we have for all these years. He’s angry and hurt right now and nothing I say will change that. Axel is extremely stubborn and won’t budge until he’s thought things through and replayed our conversation over in his mind a million times. That’s about the only thing I’m certain of when it comes to our situation. He’ll be at the appointment as far as I know,” I answer my dad who growls in response before taking a sip of his coffee.
“That’s not good enough, Sweetheart. Axel should be there with you around the clock. Not just going to appointments with you before he disappears once again to live his life. I don’t think his parents even know about the baby yet. I saw Jolene at the grocery store yesterday and she didn’t say anything to me. Though, I’m also not sure she saw me. She was on the phone with someone as she shopped. Looked very distracted to me,” he says and I can’t help but laugh a little at that because I would expect no less when it comes to Jolene.
Axel’s mom is always multitasking and doing as much as she possibly can. The only time something has her full attention is if it involves Axel, Marcus when he was alive, and anyone else she cares about and considers family. I remember Hammer, Axel’s dad, rushing into the school one day during an award presentation because Jolene shut her phone off. Axel was due to get an award for the sports he played and Hammer had been out of town for work. The second he saw Jolene, Hammer’s entire body relaxed and his eyes softened as he gazed at his wife. That was the second I knew what I wanted when I found a guy of myown. Someone who would race to his wife’s last known location, ready to burn the world to the ground if she was hurt. A man who only softens himself for me and our children like Hammer does with his family. Jolene and Hammer never shy away from showing affection no matter who’s around.
“I’m sure Axel and I will have a conversation soon about everything. When he’s ready to listen to me, I’ll explain everything the best I can. Until then, I’ll take what he gives me because that’s all he can offer me right now,” I tell my dad as our waitress comes over to take our orders.
The rest of lunch, Dad and I don’t speak about the Axel situation. He asks about my shopping trip with Shelly and offers to help me build the furniture I bought today. We talk about the next semester since it’s my last one before graduation and what my plans are moving forward since I’ve had to change everything since learning I was pregnant. During lunch, I get dizzy and my dad almost rushes me to the hospital to get checked out, but I refuse to go. I’m so used to this happening that I know when I need to worry and when it will pass quickly. Dr. Matthews isn’t happy that’s how I treat it happening, but she’s quickly learned I can be stubborn and hate going to the hospital for any reason.
When he takes me home after eating, my dad doesn’t leave for a while. He stays until the furniture is delivered and directs the men to the nursery where I want everything put until I can get up and put it where I want in the room that will be my son’s. After the deliverymen leave and he’s gotten me dinner from a different diner, my dad finally heads home for the night. I’m left to myself on the couch as I let myself feel every ounce of hurt over this situation. One of the reasons I hate living alone. I don’t have anyone to talk to or help me with things when I’m too exhausted to get out of bed or off the couch. Unfortunately, I don’t see my circumstances changing any time soon.
Chapter Five
Tease
EVERYTHING WITH OUR son is perfect. He’s still growing and his heartbeat is strong and steady. When Sheridan had the ultrasound, I stared transfixed at the small screen showing our son. He was moving around and it looked as if he was waving at one point. I always knew I wanted kids at some point in my life, now that it’s a reality, I’m scared. I’ve got a great role model in my dad, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to be a good dad myself. I keep imagining that I’m going to fuck everything up and my son will hate me. Sheridan had to go to the hospital again. Dr. Matthews did mention that it might be a good idea to admit her so she can have fluids and be able to eat daily instead of getting sick every time she tries to eat something. Plus, there’s concern with the swelling Sheridan has because her blood pressure was slightly raised. When Dr. Matthews asked about her back, Sheridan tried to brush off her concern but I could see the pain written all over her. This pregnancy is hurting her and she’s trying to pretend it’s not as bad.
Seeing Sheridan at the appointment, I couldn’t stop myself from staring at her. Even feeling like shit, she’s still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life. Her hair was up in a messy bun with pieces falling out around her face she kept brushing back. I wanted to reach out and tuck those strands behind her ear to keep them out of her face. Despite being pale as hell, Sheridan’s flawless skin still seemed to glow. Her violeteyes are always captivating and even darker than normal as she tries to hide her pain from the world. To anyone else, she pulled it off. Since I know her so well, I could see every miniscule wince and storm cloud filling her eyes. I saw the tears starting to fill her eyes when Dr. Matthews mentioned admitting her to the hospital until she went into labor. I wanted to pull her into my arms and hold her close. Instead, I sat in the hard chair across the room as they talked and listened to every word she said and filled in the blanks on what she wasn’t saying.
Like before, Sheridan’s dad was waiting for her when the appointment was finally over. He glared at me as we left the office and ushered his daughter away from me. I know Mr. Russell doesn’t hate me. What he hates is the way I’m making his daughter feel right now. Especially when he saw the tears in her eyes. Those tears weren’t about me this time though. At least not all of them. I watched helplessly as he walked her away from me and toward his truck. While I walked to my bike, he helped her inside as they headed for the hospital so Sheridan could get more fluids and the medicine she needs to eat something substantial. Every ounce of me demanded I go to the hospital to sit with her for as long as it took her to get what she needed for herself and our son. Instead, I went for another long ride to think more about the situation I can’t stop thinking about no matter what I’m doing.
During my ride, I really thought about the situation with Sheridan. The girl has never once lied to me in all the years I’ve known her. She learned to open up and talk to me no matter how upset she knew the truth would make me. Now, there is no reason I can come up with for her lying about being on birth control and not realizing the antibiotics she was taking would mess with it. I know deep in my heart and soul I need to let this shit go and have a conversation with her, but I have noclue how to bridge the gap I’ve created between the two of us. Especially when Sheridan, the one woman I’ve always wanted as mine, barely looks in my direction when we meet for her appointments. This is going to be on me to fix and I have to figure out a way to make it happen sooner rather than later.
Today, instead of checking on Sheridan like I should be doing, I’m heading to Slayer’s Pit. The strip club is thriving and always packed from the time the doors open until we close each night. I used to love showing up and spending my nights watching the girls dance and move around the club. Now, I dread showing up every single day. I know this is a job and nothing more, but part of me wonders how Sheridan would feel knowing this is where I spend my nights. While I spend most of my time in the office now, I do walk the floor so I can check in with my staff and then sit at the bar for a little bit to have a drink. The girls don’t do a damn thing for me any longer. I used to appreciate watching them work the room even knowing I would never touch them because we don’t mix business and pleasure in the Dirty Slayers MC. Now, I compare every girl to Sheridan and they all end up lacking even coming close to her.
After parking my bike behind the club, I use my keys to let myself in the back. The second I start to pull the door open, I can hear screaming and know my night is going to be long as fuck. The main voice I hear is Jess. Hiring that bitch was the worst decision the club ever made. Especially considering the way she went about getting the job. When I told her I would never hire her, she went above my head to Rooster. She gave him some kind of sob story about us being friends and her wanting to be close to me because she had someone following her and harassing her for weeks. She wanted to be close to me for protection purposes even though she has no connection to the club. Rooster bought her story and called me to let me knowshe was my newest dancer. When I told him the truth about the situation with Jess, he was pissed and went off on her. Instead of outright firing her, I decided to keep her close to find out what her end game is. I know it’s about more than being my ol’ lady. Jess is up to something and we need to know what it is before something horrible happens to us.
“I’m gonna be Tease’s ol’ lady sooner or later. When I’m in this club, youwillobey me and do everything I tell you to,” Jess shouts, her whiny voice filling the club as I stomp through the back hall toward the main floor of the club where the voices are coming from. “I can fire every single one of you with the snap of my fingers and Tease will always back me up. You sluts are nothing more than pieces of ass who take their clothes off for money in the hopes you’ll find your next baby daddy.”
“What the fuck is goin’ on here?” I yell, entering the room to find Jess holding court with all the dancers and issuing demands like she’s the damn queen of the club.
“Tease!” Jess says, sticking out her chest even more in her pathetic attempt to entice me as I walk up to the group of girls. “Baby, you’re here. I didn’t think you were coming in until later tonight. I was just letting the girls know how things are here when you’re not in the building.”
“First of all, don’t fuckin’ call me baby. Exactly how are things around here when I’m not around?” I question her as the rest of the girls start to smirk while Jess doesn’t pick up on my anger as she steps up closer to me and reaches out to run her hand down my chest. I quickly back up and put distance between the two of us.
“Since I’m gonna be your ol’ lady, I’m the one in charge when you’re not here. That’s what you told me last night when we were in bed,” Jess states, a satisfied smile on her face as she looks between the girls and me.
“First of all, you sure as fuck weren’t in my bed last night. You’veneverbeen in my bed for any reason. I told you in high school I wouldn’t touch you and nothin’ has changed. Quit fuckin’ lyin’ about bein’ with me or you’ll find yourself out bad while we make your life a livin’ hell. Second of all, you have no say in this club for any reason. If someone has a question about the bar, they go to Grace since she’s been here since the day the club opened. Phoenix is in charge of the dancers when I’m not here. Jess, you’ve been here the least amount of time out of everyone and you’re the one causin’ me the most problems,” I say, staring at Jess as the smile slowly melts off her face and anger fills her features.
“Why are you lying, Tease? You promised you’d make me your ol’ lady and we were in bed together last night,” she tries to lie again while my anger turns to rage as I step up close to her. Jess wisely backs up to keep distance between the two of us.
“I’m not the one lyin’. If there’s one thing you can say about me, it’s that I don’t lie for any reason. I’m brutally honest no matter who I’m talkin’ to. I haven’t said anythin’ about the lies you’ve been spreadin’ around here until now, but this shit is done. I have not fucked you. We do not share a bed. Outside of this club, you and I don’t even speak. I turn in the other direction when I see you comin’ close to me. I’ve known you since high school and your games have never worked on me before. There is only one person I will make my ol’ lady and she sure as fuck ain’t you,” I state, watching the realization dawn on Jess as her eyes narrow and she tilts her head just slightly before I continue speaking. “The one rule I have in this club is that if you work for me, I won’t fuck you. I’m not about to mix business with pleasure. You’re fuckin’ delusional if you think I’d ever break that rule for you. Since you want to cause problems for me once again and think you run this shit, tonight you’re on cleanin’ duty.Bathrooms and garbage included. You won’t see any time on the stage.”
“You can’t do that to me, Tease! I’m the best dancer you have,” Jess screams as I start laughing in her face.
“You’re not the best dancer here. If I had to rank all of you from best to worst, you’d be at the very bottom of the list, Jess. That’s why you always get the worst slots on stage and only get one song a night instead of multiple like the rest of the girls. Now, you’re on janitor duty. If you don’t want to lose you’re fuckin’ job right now, get the fuck to work. And if I ever hear you spewin’ this shit again, you’re done. I’m tired of dealin’ with your ass and am more than ready not to ever see you again because I will run you out of town without hesitation,” I tell her as I make my way toward the bar so I can keep an eye on Jess while the rest of the girls get ready to open for the night.
Mistique is behind the bar right now and hands me over an unopened bottle of water. She knows I won’t have a drink this early in the day. I save that for once I have the rest of my work done. Today, I have to complete the paperwork filling every available inch of my desk. I’ve been slacking and need to get back on track.
***
The club is filled to capacity as the music blares through the main room. I’ve gotten all of my paperwork done and placed an order for more alcohol. Now, it’s time for me to take a look at what’s happening in the main room of the club. Doom will take care of the private rooms to ensure our girls are protected and no one takes things too far. After making my way through the room, I end up at the bar where my dad and Knuckles are already sitting. They’re taking up two stools at the end and I make my way over to them.
“What are you two doin’ here tonight?” I ask them, motioning for Grace that I want a drink. She knows my drink of choice and doesn’t hesitate to pour me a shot while grabbing a beer for me. It’s the only thing I’ll have tonight because I won’t ride my bike if I have more than this.
“Checkin’ in on you,” my dad answers as I take the stool next to him. “How are things goin’ with Sheridan?”
