“We’re worried what bed rest will do to her back. With the previous injury and surgery, bed rest could be the worst thing for her. As long as the baby isn’t in distress and Sheridan can handle it, she’ll be allowed to attend class and move around. She pays close attention to her limits and has two people there to support her. Well, when Shelly gets back she’ll have two people to support her,” Dr. Matthews responds, deliberately leaving him out as one of my support people.
“What can she do to get rid of the nausea and throwin’ up? It’s not good if she can’t keep food down, right?” he asks, sitting forward in the uncomfortable chair and watching every move the doctor makes while I stare at the wall in front of me so I don’t look at him.
“She’s already tried everything. Nothing helps and that’s why she knows she’ll more than likely have to go to the hospital for an IV once this appointment is over. Would you like to find out the gender today if the baby will cooperate?” Dr. Matthews asks as she steps back and prepares the ultrasound machine.
“It’s up to him,” I tell her, my voice lacking any emotion because Axel is making this entire appointment harder than it has to be. Well, at least to me he is.
I’m happy he’s asking questions and trying to learn what’s going on, but I don’t need him stepping in and trying to make demands or anything about what happens to me.
“I’d like to know if that’s okay,” he responds, his voice soft and almost nice as I continue staring at the wall in front of me.
Dr. Matthews asks me the questions about my name and date of birth for confirmation before moving forward. In notime the sound of the baby’s heartbeat fills the room and I close my eyes with how strong and steady it sounds. I feel the brush of Axel’s hand against mine and choose to leave my eyes shut because I don’t want to see him reject me as he quickly pulls his hand away.
“Okay. Let’s get a look at your little one,” Dr. Matthews says, causing me to open my eyes so I can see my baby on the screen.
She points out the various body parts for Axel as he leans closer to me so he can get a better look at the screen before us. Dr. Matthews takes measurements and makes notes in my chart before she pauses and moves the wand around my stomach for a few minutes without saying a word.
“It looks like you’re having a little boy. There are no signs of distress at this point of your pregnancy. From this point forward, we’ll give you an ultrasound every time you come in. I want to see you once a week until you go into labor or we make the decision to induce you,” Dr. Matthews informs us as Tonya enters the exam room again with the results of my sample in hand. “Sheridan, you’ll be heading to the hospital. You’re dehydrated and need some nutrients. I’m going to call over there and have them prepare everything. The last time you went, you were able to eat right?”
Excitement fills me with the knowledge that we’re having a son. I’ve had dreams of the baby being a boy, but I didn’t want to read into them. Now, Shelly and I can shop for the nursery. I’ve been putting it off because I didn’t know what I was having. Honestly, I wanted Axel to be part of things, but that’s not going to happen. He has yet to even look at me again or say a single word to me. I don’t even know if he’s happy we’re having a son. Tears fill my eyes and the excitement diminishes because this situation breaks my heart and I wish things were better for myson. Clearing my throat from the lump now there, I turn my attention to the doctor.
“I was. They gave me that medicine and I was able to eat a meal. It was the only one I could eat that day, but it helped. If I remember correctly, it was grilled chicken, vegetables, potatoes, milk, and juice. I ate everything and wanted more even though I was full,” I tell her honestly.
“Okay. We’ll see if that works again this week. Make sure your next appointment is for next week. Again, I’m not putting you on bed rest at this point because I think that will do more harm than good. Listen to your body and don’t overextend yourself. Sheridan, I know you only have two weeks left of summer classes, but I believe you should do them online if possible. There’s too much at risk and campus is too far away at this point in your pregnancy with it now being high risk,” Dr. Matthews says, a frown on her face because we’ve had this conversation more than once so far.
“Okay. I’ll make the call today. Shelly should be back in a day or two from her vacation and I think she’s gonna be staying with me. For now, I’m fine on my own,” I tell her, making Dr. Matthews smile because she knows how badly I want to be on campus for class.
“Sounds good. If you need anything before your next appointment, don’t hesitate to call. I hope to see you again,” she says, turning to Axel before leaving the room.
Axel reluctantly helps me off the exam table and remains close so I don’t fall from the dizziness. He doesn’t allow me to move until I let him know I’m ready and not dizzy any longer. We slowly make our way out to the waiting room and I stop at the desk to make my next appointment. I let her know it will be one week and that I’ll need two appointment cards. Tonya comes out with pictures of the baby and hands some to me and oneor two to Axel. After getting my appointment card, I turn and leave the office. Axel remains close until my dad comes up and takes my hand to place on his arm. I let him know we need to head to the hospital again as I ignore the man walking behind us. Neither one of us says a word as Axel heads for his bike and I follow my dad to his car. Taking a deep breath, I slowly release it to stop myself from crying. That’s the last thing I need to do right now when I’m already dehydrated and feeling like shit.
Chapter Three
Tease
GOING TO SHERIDAN’S doctor’s appointment with her truly made me realize the baby is real and we’re going to be parents. Hearing that she’s dehydrated and needed to go to the hospital hurt me and I wanted to go with her instead of her dad. I should have been the one by her side as she laid in a hospital bed for fluids as the staff tried to ensure she could eat something without getting sick. I don’t want to see her struggle or be sick, but at the same time, I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that she lied to me about being on birth control and then wasn’t going to tell me about the baby. Yes, I did tell her our night together was it and there wouldn’t be anything else between us, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t have the right to know I was going to be a dad. Sheridan should have let me know so I could make the decision myself whether I was going to be in the child’s life or not. I could have been there for her from the moment she found out she was pregnant.
After going to Slayer’s Pit to deal with paperwork and a short staff meeting, I spent hours riding. No matter how many hours I’ve spent on the road, I can’t get Sheridan and the baby out of my head. Usually going on a ride will clear my head and I can work out whatever is going on in my life. The noise in my head stops and I can usually figure out a solution about the situation bothering me. This time, nothing helps and I have no clue what to do. It’s almost like I’m stuck in limbo and no matterwhat I think about, everything always comes back to the feeling of her lying to me despite her knowing how much I can’t stand liars. If someone had told me this would happen, I would have laughed in their face because that’s not who Sheridan is. She’s the girl who will always tell you the truth and not hide things from anyone talking to her. Now, I wonder if I ever truly knew who she was.
Pulling into the compound after riding until it started to rain, I don’t stop at the parking lot. I head back to the houses for my weekly dinner with Knuckles and Janessa. My cousin is living his best life and I can’t be happier for him. Janessa is currently pregnant with baby number three and I know she’s hoping for a girl this time. She keeps telling everyone her house is full of too much testosterone and she needs some kind of balance. My cousin’s face goes pale every single time she mentions them having a daughter. It’s comical how much Knuckles doesn’t want to be a girl dad. Though, I can honestly say, I’d be right there with him if they do have a girl and some boy starts to show any sign of interest in her. She won’t be allowed to date until she’s old and gray if we have our way.
I park my bike in the open garage next to Knuckles’ bike and shut the engine off immediately in case Matty is sleeping. He’s just getting over another ear infection and has been feeling horrible. Janessa hasn’t been able to put him down until he’s asleep in her arms. Knuckles has been there and tries to help her, but every single day Matty proves how much of a mama’s boy he is. Both boys love their mom and always want to be with her, but Kaden still follows Knuckles around and watches every move he makes. He prefers to spend his time with his daddy unless he’s tired or sick.
Instead of going in the house through the door in the garage, I head back outside into the rain. It’s coming downharder than a few seconds ago as I look up at the sky and wonder if Sheridan is doing okay since her trip to the hospital after her appointment a few days ago. I could send her a message and ask, but I can’t bring myself to pull out my phone and send it. In my mind, that opens doors I’d prefer to leave closed for now. If something were wrong, Sheridan would call or message me to let me know. Plus, I know Sheridan’s dad is more than likely with her and he won’t let Sheridan leave me hanging and out of the loop if something more were going on with her and our son.
A son. We’re having a baby boy. Images of spending my time with him fill my head as he grows and becomes an independent person. I imagine teaching him about bikes, fighting, how to be a good man, and everything else a father knows he needs to teach his son so he can be the best version of himself as an adult. I want to be there every day for my child and know I wasn’t a deadbeat who only showed up on certain occasions. My parents would beat my ass if that’s the kind of man I was because that’s not how they raised me. I still have to tell them about the baby and everything, but I haven’t figured out how to do that yet. Sheridan is close to her due date and only has about two months left of her pregnancy. This isn’t something I can hold back from them for much longer.
Shaking my head to clear the thoughts playing on a loop, I turn to face the house and make my way inside. It’s not raining hard enough to completely soak me so I make a mess in the house, but I am wet. Walking inside without knocking, I toe off my boots and remove my hoodie to hang up as I listen to the sounds of chaos filling the house. Kaden’s laughing hysterically at his dad while Janessa moves around the kitchen. Knuckles is on the floor in front of Kaden’s blocks as they go tumbling to the floor all around the father and son. Kaden laughs even harder until he looks up and notices me. I watch him get off the floorand rush over to me. Picking him up in my arms, I hold him close.
“How’s my man doin’ today?” I ask him, letting him snuggle against my chest in a way he hasn’t done in months.
Kaden feels warm to the touch as I look down at him. His hair is a mess, sticking up in every direction, and his little eyes are drooping like he’s exhausted or sick. I know Matty’s been sick and I’m wondering if Kaden is coming down with something as well. I hate seeing the boys sick and wish I could take it from them. I wonder if I’ll feel that way even more about my own son when he’s born.
“Sick,” Kaden says, grabbing my shirt and bunching it in his hand as Knuckles gets off the floor and watches us.
“Not feelin’ good, Kaden? I’m sorry. If I’d known, I would have brought you somethin’ to make you feel better,” I tell him because it’s something I always do when I know the boys are sick. “Did he catch whatever Matty has?”
“Yeah. They’ve both got a cold. Matty has an ear infection too. The doctor is talking about puttin’ in tubes with how many he’s had. That means surgery,” my cousin informs me as I move further in the house with Kaden in my arms.
