My dad has been a saint. He rushes out at all hours of the day and night to grab whatever I’m craving and then holds my hair when I’m throwing up. He’s been my chauffeur because the doctor doesn’t want me to drive right now. Thankfully my dad owns his own garage and doesn’t have to go through a boss in order to get the time off to take me everywhere and do everything he’s been to help me. Everything I want Axel to be there doing. If I had made better decisions, things could have been different. However, I can’t change what’s happened and I know Axel will make a great dad. He’s got a tremendous role model in his own dad. If I had chosen not to give into my dreams of being with Axel, my son or daughter might have a dad who I was with in a relationship. Someone I would eventually marry and build a life with. Instead, I’ll be a single mom who has to learn to co-parent with Axel, the man I never thought would hurt me the way he is by not believing me.
Shelly is pissed as fuck at him. She came up with some extremely colorful ways to hurt and maim the man we’ve known for years. I think more than a few of those ways include making it so he could never have sex again let alone worry about fathering more children. My best friend is vicious when I’m hurt and she’ll go on a rampage to avenge whoever has done me wrong. With the exception of Jess because that bitch is vile and hurt both of us more times than I can count.
The second Shelly saw Axel making his way to his bike a week ago, she raced from the diner and wrapped me in her arms as I sobbed uncontrollably against the wall of the diner. My bestfriend held me until I no longer had any tears to cry and then drove me home. She didn’t leave my side for three days. The only reason she did it now is because her family took her on vacation with them before she has to head back to school. It’s something they do every year and even her older brother takes time off work to go with them. Shelly’s family is very close and this is their way of connecting before they all go their separate ways again. I envy her relationship with her parents and brother.
I took a shower early this morning even though my dad and Shelly want someone here with me when I do that. They’re concerned with me falling and getting hurt and not being able to call for help. I don’t always remember to take my phone in the bathroom with me so I’d end up laying in the shower until I could crawl to the phone no matter where it’s located. Knowing Axel would be at this appointment with me made sleep impossible because I’m not sure which version of him I’ll get. Or if he’ll say a single word to me. Plus, I don’t exactly want to let him know everything that’s been going on during my pregnancy. Because I can’t keep most food down, I’ve been getting dizzy when I try to walk sometimes. It doesn’t happen every time I stand up, but enough to make the doctor concerned for me.
“Sweetheart, are you ready to head out? I thought we’d try a donut on the way there to see if you can keep that down. We haven’t tried donuts yet,” my dad asks me, a smile on his face as he walks in my apartment to find me lounging on the couch with my phone in hand.
“I’m ready. Can you help me off the couch? My back is really bothering me today,” I ask, holding out my hands for my dad to take and help me off the couch.
When I was younger, my mother had me in the car and deliberately crashed. I had spinal injuries that required surgery to fix. For weeks the doctors had no clue if I’d be paralyzed.Thankfully, I wasn’t, but the road to recovery was long and paved with tears from the amount of pain I was in. My mother laughed in my face because I was now crippled. That was the last straw for my dad. He divorced her immediately and filed to get full custody and a restraining order against her. The judge ruled in his favor on everything with all the evidence he had against my mother. Now, that pain is back from the pregnancy and the doctor is closely monitoring me because of my past medical history.
“Make sure you let the doctor know you’re in pain and it’s getting worse, Sheridan. I know you like to downplay everything, but this is important. If there’s something they can do to help relieve the amount of pain you’re in, you need to listen. I can see you’re not getting the sleep you need. Those dark circles under your eyes weren’t there yesterday. I mean, they were but not as bad as today. Did you manage to get any sleep?” he asks me, never holding back from telling me when I look like shit.
“I think I got about two hours. Between getting sick and my back, I couldn’t get comfortable no matter where I laid or how I positioned my body,” I answer him honestly as he remains close at my side while we leave my apartment and head down to the car he recently purchased because I couldn’t get up in his truck.
“Axel is meeting you at the office?” he asks once he’s in the driver’s seat after helping me in the passenger seat.
“That’s what he says. I sent him a message with the date, time, and location. He didn’t respond,” I tell my dad as my heart cracks all over again with the knowledge that things are so broken now.
“Need me to talk to him, Sweetheart?”
“No. Axel is a stubborn asshole and you know this as well as I do. He’ll either believe me or won’t. I refuse to do anything to try to make him believe in me and that I’m not lying to him. I don’t have the energy when I’ve got two more weeks of school for the summer,” I answer him honestly because my dad knows everything about my life. He’s not only my dad but my best friend.
“Okay. If that changes, you let me know,” he states while leaving my apartment to go get donuts and take me to my appointment.
***
My dad walks me into the doctor’s office after I got sick in the parking lot. As soon as we’re inside, I can’t stop myself from looking around for Axel. The last person I want to see me right now is him with the condition I’m currently in, but there he is sitting in the corner with his phone in hand. The second he sees my dad and me, he gets up, puts his phone in his pocket, and heads over to us. Without a word, I turn and head for the desk to let them know I’m here. The receptionist takes one look at me and rushes to the back for Dr. Matthews. Axel remains at my side without a word to me.
“Sweetheart, I’m gonna head out to the car to wait. If you need me here, call. I’ll clean up the mess. I’m sorry you weren’t able to eat the donut. We’ll mark that off the list of things to try,” my dad says before giving me a kiss on the top of my head and leaving me alone with
Axel.
“Dr. Matthews wants you back in an exam room now, Sheridan. You haven’t gotten any better, have you?” the receptionist asks me as Axel stands taller with the realization that something is wrong with me.
“No. It’s gotten worse and I can’t tell if it’s because of the pain in my back or how far along I am in my pregnancy,” I respond as we’re led to the back where the exam rooms are.
A nurse, Tonya, meets us at the scale so she can get my weight. When she looks at me, I know I’ve lost more and she’s not happy. I plead without words for her not to say anything until the doctor is in the room in case Axel has something to say.
“Gonna need you to leave a sample today, Sheridan. The cup is already in the bathroom and I want you to pull the emergency cord when you’re done. Donotattempt to get off the toilet by yourself this time,” Tonya admonishes me as I feel Axel’s eyes on me.
“I’ll wait outside the door for her and help her,” he states as if that’s what I want.
Tonya leaves us alone as I head for the bathroom. It doesn’t take me long to leave my sample and let Axel know I’m ready for his help. He comes in the bathroom and helps me off the toilet but continues to hover as I put my clothes back in place and wash my hands. I can tell he wants to say something, but remains silent as we make our way out of the bathroom and toward Tonya where she waits outside a room. Dr. Matthews is already inside waiting and has an ultrasound machine in the room. This is worse than I thought it would be.
“Sheridan, how are you feeling today? Have you been able to keep any other food items down? How’s the pain in your back? What about the dizzy spells? ” Dr. Matthews questions me as she helps me up on the exam table while Axel stands out of the way. “Are you the dad?”
“I am,” he answers in a gruff voice before taking a seat next to the exam table.
“I feel like shit if I’m being honest. I think I might have gotten about two hours of sleep in total. I can’t get comfortable at all no matter what I do. The pain in my back is worse than the last time I was in here. We knew this was a possibility and I’ve tried to prepare myself mentally for this. I’m unable to keep anything down. I can’t even keep water down at this point. My dad is actually outside cleaning up the parking lot because I tried a donut on the way here. I’m fully prepared to head to the hospital after this appointment for another IV round of fluids,” I answer Dr. Matthews honestly without looking at Axel despite me feeling the tension in his body at my response. “I’m still getting dizzy when I stand up and sometimes when I’m walking from one room to the next. My dad has become my chauffeur so I’m not driving.”
“There’s somethin’ wrong with her and the baby?” Axel questions Dr. Matthews while avoiding talking to me at all.
“Sheridan has been experiencing severe morning sickness. Usually it doesn’t last the entire pregnancy, but she’s shown no signs of it going away. She’s easily dehydrated because of this and isn’t getting all of the nutrients the baby and her need. Twice she’s had to be admitted to the hospital for treatment and is always prepared to head there after we see her. As for the back pain, we did know this was going to happen. Today, I’d like to give you an ultrasound to check on the baby and make sure there are no signs of distress. We’ll have to keep a close eye on you from this point forward, Sheridan. Any sign of distress from the baby and you’ll be put on bed rest and admitted to the hospital. We might have to think about delivering the baby early as well,” Dr. Matthews answers as my entire body starts to tremble with the knowledge that I’m not nearly ready for everything going on in this pregnancy.
“Why don’t you put her on bed rest now?” Axel questions Dr. Matthews as she steps up and starts listening to my heart and lungs while checking my blood pressure.
