“—and that’s why it’s so easy for me. You’reawesome,” is what I say instead.
“Can I say something?”
“Of course. Open book.”
“Back when I was living with my parents, after I knew I was gay, but whenever I was still feeling like crap about it, I’d imagine…things. Like things with guys.” He sucks in a breath before continuing. “Not that I had any frame of reference or anything, but I’d see people being affectionate with each other at the store, or later, on campus at community college, and I’d think about what it might be like for me to have something like that.”
Oh, we’re getting deep tonight. Not that I mind, not at all.
He huffs. “Never mind. It’s stupid.”
“Whatever you’re thinking, it isn’t.”
Callum turns to face me, and I give his knee a gentle press, which seems to spur him on.
“I know we’ve only gone out once, but I?—”
My breath catches. I won’tfaulthim for dropping the L-word if he does, but we’ll probably need to talk about identifying emotions or something?—
“You’re pretty much exactly the kind of guy I always used to imagine back then.”
Holy shit.
He isn’t done. “You’re so caring, and patient, and everything I didn’t think I ever deserved.”
My heart. It fucking hurts so good and is full and nowI’mtempted to say the L-word even though I know it’s way too early and?—
I drag Callum’s head down and kiss him before I spin out of control. There’s no way I’m holding my smile back, not a chance.
“You’re so sweet,” I murmur. “You’re so fucking sweet. And I used to think you were intimidating.”
He snickers. “Yeah, I wasn’t doing myself any favors when I first got here.”
“Eh, I knew there was a total softie underneath that sexy smolder.”
“I'm a softie?” He huffs and rolls his eyes, so I place a gloved hand on his face and bring him back to me.
“You totally are, and I dig it.”
He lets out a quiet chuckle right as I shiver, and I stand, extending an arm to help him up so we can go home and defrost.
Disguising a tired sigh as a cough, I keep pace with Callum and keep myself grounded. I won’t rush things with him like I did with other people in the past. Yeah, he reassured me earlier, but that was about a kiss, not the infinitely more intense aspect offeelings.
I won’t pressure him—I’ll keep the door open and let him do what he’s comfortable with.
I just hope I don’t end up scaring him off.
CHAPTER TWENTY
CALLUM
Anita’s office is warm and inviting as always, and I settle into the small armchair for another scheduled session. As much as I’m okay and functional for the most part, I don’t want to settle for that—anything could happen to me, and I need a solid, independent emotional foundation.
“So, what’s new with you, Callum?”
I let out a dry, humored huff. “Where do I even start?”
“Perhaps from where we left off last time.” She checks her notes. “Your dorm was damaged, you moved in with your friend, and you had certain feelings toward him.”
