“Okay, okay, let me breathe,” Callum says with a chuckle as he pulls away and holds me at a distance with his long arms. “That doesn’t mean I don’t want more. I do. It’s just that we’re in public and my pants are already tight enough.”
“Tight pants crew, let’s go,” I joke, giving him a fist bump. “You’re good at explaining yourself, that’s for sure.”
He shrugs a shoulder. “Yeah. I mean, you said people in the past gave you crap for being affectionate, and I don’t want you to think I’m the same.”
That one sentence is all it takes for the world to stop.
Holy shit.
One thing about suddenly feeling full is that you’re made aware of howemptyeverything was leading up to the present. I knew the guys in the past were dicks, but I always thought that how they reacted to me was my fault. Callum considering my feelings like it’s no big deal to him has me all raw and fuzzy andnumb.
“Thank you. I… I really appreciate it.” I keep walking so I don’t start crying tears of elation in the middle of the sidewalk. “Did you have a good time tonight?”
I don’t think I needed to ask—he’s fucking beaming. When that man is happy, I swear the world becomes a better place because of it.
“Yeah,” he says, tilting his head back. “Tonight was the most fun I’ve had in… Yeah. I had a great time.”
What he didn’t say makes my stomach clench, and I bring my hand to him, threading my fingers through his.
And not to be dramatic or anything, but when he squeezes not once, buttwice, I swear my heart gives out.
“Whatcha doin’ there?” I ask.
“Nothing. I felt like it’d be nice to do.”
Callum Cross: the oblivious romantic.
We’re both tired as hell from the date, so we walk home in near silence. Callum’s hand doesn’t leave mine for a second, though, not even when someone steps out of a dorm across the street.
That’s when it sinks in even more. I’m witnessing, no,experiencinghim grow into his skin in real time, and he’s choosing to do that with me.
Someone is choosing me.
Now it’s my turn to squeeze Callum’s hand, and then I decide to lean my head against his shoulder like the sap I am.
He breathes out, in something that sounds like a huffed laugh. “Holy fuck.”
“You good?”
“Uh-huh,” he says. “Can we sit for a while? I’m kind of… I need to sit.”
I guide him under the archway of Maple Hall. There’s scaffolding all over the building, but the construction workers have all left for the night. It’s only the two of us there.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, sitting down on a bench in the quad.
Callum joins me. “Yeah.” His voice is soft, and some kind of gentle, almost sad smile plays out on his lips. “Tonight was amazing. Thank you again for taking me out.” He leans his head on mine, making my heart race.
“You don’t need to thank me for taking you on a date, Cal,” I say, placing my hand on his and giving him a squeeze. “I wanted to ask you out from the second you told me you’re into guys.”
“I…” He trails off, sucking in a breath. “I never thought I’d get to experience anything like this. I’ve never felt like anyone wants me.”
“Hey, come here.” I open my arms, and Callum nudges into me, the way he always does, and the way I’ve come to crave. “I want you so bad, Cal. All of you. I’m so fucking gone for you.”
“Tha—”
I press a finger to his mouth and cut him off. Rude, but necessary. “You’re not gonna thank me for being into you, mygod.” I ruffle his cute hair and restore some of the charming muss that flattened as the night went on. “My feelings are all because of you. You're a great friend and—”Hopefully a great boyfriend.
One week and one date. That’s all it took for me toalmostask him the boyfriend question. At least I was thinking hard enough to cut myself off before I lost control.
