Maybe he just needed some time to think everything through. I did dump a lot of big, life-changing information on him.He might still change his mind about us. He could come back…I told him. My beast and I were both skeptical of that plan, but we had to hold on to hope. The alternative was crushing.
I was vaguely aware of the apartment door opening, but I didn’t turn to look at whoever it was. It wasn’t Joel, I knew that much. Instead, my focus was on the rose I held, its red petals wilting, much like my heart. I’d bought it for Joel what felt like a lifetime ago, but he’d left before I could give it to him. Now I would never get the chance.
“Okay, that’s enough sulking. Get up.” Mace towered over me, disapproval coming off him in waves.
Lowering the rose onto my chest, I stared up at him, unseeing. “You don’t get it, Mace. You don’t even have a mate to lose, so you can’t possibly understand what this feels like. I’m dying.” Perhaps literally. I’d never heard of someone actually dying of a rejected bond, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t possible.
Mace frowned harder. “We’re staging an intervention.”
I blinked up at him. My jaguar was just as confused.What’s an intervention?
Someone else moved to stand beside him, and it took me a second to focus on the newcomer. His hair was purple now, but when I realized it was Kedi, Joel’s roommate, my heart started to beat a little faster. I forced myself into a seated position. “How is he? How’s Joel?”
Kedi tried to look angry, but it was clear he was more sad than anything. “How do you think he’s doing? He’s even worse off than you.”
“He is?” I asked, crushing the rose so hard to my chest that I felt its thorns stab into my palm.
“You need to go talk to him,” Mace snapped, clearly the bad cop in this scenario. “Your clients are pissed you’ve disappeared, and I can only handle so much. Go get your mate back so we can go back to life as normal.”
I shook my head up at them. “He left. I told him everything, and he just… left. He doesn’t want me.”
Mace opened his mouth, probably to berate me some more, but Kedi set a hand on his shoulder to shut him up. He looked down at me with pleading eyes. “He called in sick to all his jobs. He’s not eating or sleeping. I can hear him through the wall singing along with all these heartbreak ballads. And he isnota good singer.”
Mace elbowed him in the ribs. “Not the point,” he hissed.
Kedi, though, just rolled his eyes. “I love Chord Overstreet as much as the next guy, but he is butchering ‘Hold On,’ and it is a fucking tragedy.”
Go to him!my jaguar growled at me in command.He needs us!But I was already one step ahead of him. I staggered to my feet, my entire body aching after so long spent lying on the floor, and I hobbled toward the door.
“North, wait!” Mace shouted, grabbing my arm on the way by.
“What?” I snarled, canines sharp. It wasn’t a good time to get in my way. Besides, wasn’t this what he’d wanted? For me to go to him?
He let go, holding his hands out in defense. “I’m just suggesting you consider showering first?”
Kedi nodded, wincing. “Yes, I second that.”
I lifted an arm and took a sniff of my armpit, and my jaguar hissed in revulsion. I nodded quickly, heading for the bathroom. “Yeah, okay. I can spare five minutes.”
Imanagedtogetready in four minutes, which included running through the shower and changing into someclean clothes. I’d already done a shit job of making him stay; I didn’t want to give him any more excuses to kick me out of his apartment.
Kedi let me in, so at least I didn’t have to break the door down, which was exactly what I would’ve done the second I caught a trace of his scent from down the hallway. His fresh scent had turned sour with stress and pain, and I hated that it was all my fault.
As soon as Kedi turned the key in the lock, I shoved past him into the apartment. My heart was racing, and knowing I was so close to my mate had me desperate. “Joel?” I called, a split second before I barged into his room. I should’ve knocked, but manners weren’t really in my wheelhouse at this exact moment. Logic told me I should be calm and patient, but logic was a human construct, and right now, I was more beast than man, my teeth pricking at my lower lip, my claws out.
Joel’s head appeared from a nest of blankets. “North?” he asked, his voice scratchy. His beautiful eyes were bloodshot and puffy from crying.
I nearly dropped to my knees right there, seeing him so broken, but I somehow managed to stagger across the room. He burst into tears and opened his arms, and I fell straight into them, the bed’s springs protesting the added weight.
Crushing him to my chest, blanket nest and all, the relief I felt was instantaneous, but guilt swelled right behind it. I couldn’t truly allow myself to feel relief until I’d fixed everything, and I didn’t know how to do that.
“Shh, sweetheart, please don’t cry.” I tried to run my hands through his hair, but his curls were thoroughly tangled.
His whole body shook with his wracking sobs. “I-I can’t seem to s-stop,” he blubbered into my chest, soaking my shirt. “Why does it h-hurt so much?”
I brushed a kiss on his forehead, leaning back to look down at him. “It hurts for me too,” I told him. “It’s the mate bond trying to bring us together.”
He frowned, then set his palms on my chest to push me back a little, but I was just grateful he wasn’t kicking me out of his bed. I kept one hand resting on top of his blanketed hip. “I don’t get it. How can fate just swoop in and tell us we have to be together? Do I even have free will?”
