Joel frowned. “Okay.”
I took a deep breath.For better or worse, here we go.“So, I’m… not entirely human. I know this sounds crazy, but hear me out. Humans don’t know it, but the world is filled with all kinds of supernatural species. We look like you, live among you… fall in love with you.” Joel’s eyes flared wider as he picked up on what I was saying, quietly baring my heart. “I’m what is called a shifter. This means my body can turn into another animal—a jaguar. He lives inside me, is a part of me.”
Joel’s breath hitched, body poised to run, and I snatched up his hand before he could bolt, grounding him while I practically begged for him to trust me. “There’s no danger,he would never harm you—or anyone else, butespeciallyyou.”
He laughed shakily, but relaxed back in his seat, squeezing my fingers. “Right. Okay. Wow. That’s… a lot.” At least he wasn’t calling me a liar.
I chuckled, shaking my head. “It is.”Show him!my jaguar insisted, pushing forward, but now wasn’t the time to throw a giant predator at him and expect him to be cool with it. “I know you’ll have lots of questions, and I promise to answer each and every one of them. But first…” I winced. “There’s more.”
He sighed, and I saw resignation in his eyes. “The tattoo?” he asked.
“The tattoo.” I rubbed my thumb back and forth over his hand, trying to soothe him. The bond simmered between us, sparking at the too-brief contact. “Do you believe in fate?”
“I mean… maybe?” he said, shrugging. “If shifters are real, how can I rule anything out?”
His logic made me laugh, and he turned his hand over beneath mine until we were palm to palm. There was a steady pulse that throbbed between us, as if our hearts beat to the same rhythm. No matter that he was human, he had to feel this too. I couldn’t be the only one.
I took a shuddery breath, my nerves stretched to their breaking point. “I’m sure you’ve heard of soulmates before. Hollywood loves to romanticize the concept, but before rom-coms existed, you can find it tightly wound into different religions and cultures throughout history and all over the globe. Hinduism and reincarnation, African and Indigenous people, ancient Celts, they all acknowledge this intrinsic connection we have, this special someone put on this earth who is meant for us.”
His breathing had gotten faster, and I could feel his rapid pulse racing where my fingertips brushed the inside of his wrist. “But… what does this have to do with my tattoo?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
He suspected it already, I was sure of it. It gave me the courage to finish.
I licked my dry lips, not taking my eyes off his for a second. “The tattoos I give people are a symbol leading them to the other half of their soul. For years, I’ve given people this gift, all while wondering when it would be my turn, for love, for fate. I’ve been waiting so long… I knew who you were the second I heard your voice. Your scent… you smell like home to me.” Emotion made it hard for me to breathe, my chest tight, but I pressed on. “The tattoo I gave you is my jaguar’s pawprint, because… you’re my mate.” I set my hand over my heart, where my own pawprint tattoo sat, a mirror of his.
The silence stretched between us. I waited for him to say something, to react in any way. His face was entirely blank as he blinked numbly at me. I expected skepticism, maybe fear. An onslaught of questions, either way. I was prepared for all of that. What I wasn’t prepared for, though, was for him to pull his hand from mine. Without a word, he stood from the couch and headed for the door. There was not a single flicker of emotion as he walked away from me.
The door closed behind him with a click that seemed to echo in the silence. Listening to his retreating footsteps, I mustered the strength to stay where I was. Every instinct told me to chase after him, to force him to come back and listen to me, to talk for as long as it took to convince him to stay. To believe me. To love me…
But that was not how love worked.
Curling in on myself, I tried to build my walls back up where they used to be, an impenetrable fortress to protect my heart, but it was futile. When Joel stepped into my life, he’d taken a wrecking ball to every barrier I’d ever had. My anger, my silent resolve… they were nowhere to be found now when I needed them the most. All that was left was fear.
For the first time since we found our mate, my jaguar and I were on the same page—a blank one—and neither of us knew what came next.
Chapter 12
Joel
Outthedoor.Downthe stairs. The sidewalk, the bus. I was on autopilot, one foot in front of the other, in a daze. My brain was wrapped in gauze, but I suddenly found myself at home, with no real memory of how I got there.
I was having a psychotic break, it was the only explanation. People that turned into animals, magic tattoos, fate dictating who I would love. I couldn’t make this stuff up. Maybe I was asleep, dreaming about fairy tales. I would wake up any minute now, and just like dreams did, it would drift away, forgotten before I even had breakfast.
A throbbing ache settled into my chest, and I set a hand over my heart. Did that mean that North wasn’t real? Had I made him up too? The mere suggestion that he could be forgotten so easily didn’t sit well with me. Hefeltreal. I slid my hand from my heart, over my shoulderto where my tattoo sat. I swore it felt warm and tingly. A pawprint—his jaguar’s pawprint, North said.
A whimper echoed through the quiet apartment. It was coming from me.
“Hey, Joel, that you? What’s wrong?” Kedi called from his room. “I thought you were going for dinner at North’s place.” He stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he laid eyes on me, his shoulders sagging in resignation. “Oh.”
“Oh?” I snapped, an irrational surge of anger licking at my insides and sharpening the world around me in a distinctly non-dreamlike way. “Oh?Is that all you have to say?” He knew. He fucking knew! I could tell by the look of pity he was giving me right now. Somehow, he knew what North just told me, the totally bonkers world where I was currently spiraling down the drain.
Kedi’s eyes flared that blue-gray they sometimes did when the light caught them just right, but—no. There was no change in light, and he wasn’t wearing colored contacts either. Pieces clicked into place in my head. Kedi had said North was like him, like his friends.All these years, he’d said, I’d had no clue. And if North was a shifter, that made Kedi one too… right?
“What are you?” I gritted out, betrayal digging its claws into me and turning my blood to acid in my veins.
He didn’t answer me straight away, watching me with wary calm. “Wolf,” he said at last.
I let out a watery laugh that didn’t convey a single bit of humor. “Right, right… Of course you are.” I paced back and forth, my skin prickly like it was stretched too tightly around my bones. “We’ve lived together for years, Kedi.Years. And you never thought to mention that you’re a werewolf?”
