“Hm,” is all Derek replies to that.
“Fine,” I say on a sigh.“Tell me about the captain.”Listening to Derek doesn’t commit me to anything.
“She’sonlyfifty,” he says.“Does that put you off already?”
I have to laugh as I shake my head.“No.”
“Granted,” Derek says, “it’s not easy being a cub in your fifties.It doesn’t really sound right.”
“Yet I’ll never be a cougar like you.”
“Daddy,” Derek says.“Please.”
“All right, Daddy.”I find his twinkling gaze.He’s enjoying this, and we might as well enjoy ourselves on Lois’s birthday—we’ve cried over her sudden loss enough.“Do you have a picture of this fifty-year-old firefighter lady?”
“Of course.”He grabs his phone and scrolls through it, then shows me the screen.The woman looking back at me does look very dapper in her uniform, but she’s just a picture.
“Quite butch,” I say.
“Nuh-huh,” Derek says.“You can’t say that anymore.It’s masc now.”
“Argh,” I groan.“I’m too old for all this.I don’t even know the correct terms anymore.”
“You’re never too old.Look at Ida and Faye, both very close to fifty when they got together.”
“I can’t compare myself to Ida Burton and Faye Fleming.”
“Why not?”
“If Ida’s coming out hadn’t coincided with her falling in love with Faye, she would have had hundreds of suitors.”And also because Ida Burton is one of the most beautiful women on the planet, I don’t say out loud.Derek used to be married to her—they were each other’s beard until Derek couldn’t take it anymore and bust out of the closet.Ida kept up the charade much longer, until she finally cracked as well.And how—the one and only Faye Fleming was waiting for her outside of the closet.
“Darling, you’re absolutely gorgeous,” Derek says.“The only reason you don’t notice that other women are interested in you is because you have no interest in them.We only see what we want to see.”
“Are you suggesting I go on a date with Ben’s new lesbian boss?”I quirk my eyebrows.“I can still say lesbian, can’t I?”I’m being facetious, but in my job, I have to watch every single word I say, so it feels good to just say whatever comes to mind when I’m with my friends.
“We could have you both over for dinner.Keep it casual.”
“Let me think about it.”I sink into my chair.
“I know you loved Lois so incredibly much, but I’m convinced that she’d want you to find love again.Didn’t you talk about that sort of stuff, what with her being almost fifteen years older than you?”
“Those are not the conversations I remember,” I say, although I know, in my heart of hearts, that Lois would want me to find happiness with someone new.
Derek slides his hand over the table toward mine.“Just say the word and I’ll set it up.”
“Thanks, Lady Sasshole,” I quip.
“Why did it always sound so much better, hardly even like an insult, when Lois said it?”Derek gives my hand a little squeeze.
“She had the rare gift of charming you while calling you names.It made her very special.”
“She was one of a kind.”
“Stubborn enough to make a mule look reasonable,” I say.In a way, it’s what killed her.That in combination with being the world’s worst driver while being convinced she was the best.
Chapter5
Avery
