I reach for her hand and spread out her fingers.One by one, I kiss each tip.“I’m.”Kiss.“In.”Kiss.“Love.”Kiss.“With.”Kiss.“You.”
Nic doesn’t live very far from her sister and the car comes to a stop.Nic doesn’t seem to notice.She wraps her fingers around mine, looks me in the eye, and says, “Very much likewise.”Only then does she make to get out of the car.
Inside her house, it’s easier to forget about that article—and the outside world and whatever anyone may think of us.
“How did your friends react?”Nic asks me as she fishes her phone out of her bag.“Hold on, I’m going to switch this off.”Ostentatiously, she presses the off button.
“Sienna was shocked.”
“She would be,” Nic says, as we gravitate toward the kitchen and she pulls some snacks from the fridge.“I haven’t eaten and I need something in my stomach,” she says.
“I had already kind of told Stella I was seeing someone, but not who.She assumed I was having an affair with a married politician or something like that.”
Nic opens a bag of nacho chips and a container of guacamole.I didn’t get to finish my meal at Min-ji’s either, but I’m only hungry for one thing.
“I’m so sorry about this, Nic.”I shake my head.“That that photographer was outside my house.”
“It’s not your fault.It really isn’t.Please, don’t feel guilty about that.”She dips a chip into the guac and just looks at it.“What’s your schedule like next week?Do you have a lot of press?”
“A fair bit.”I nod.I also have a meeting with Mimi St.James, who might direct my next movie—something I look forward to a hell of a lot more than the endless questions from so-called journalists.
Nic chews her snack while thinking this over and she looks good enough to eat just doing that.
“Should I cancel Jan?”I ask.
“No.Jan is very good at her job.I didn’t choose her for you just because she’s my friend and I could come clean to her—well, up to a point, at least.Speaking as your former therapist, I think you should continue therapy.”
“And as my… girlfriend?”I just want to say it.It feels stupidly good to do so.
Nic grins at me.“As your girlfriend as well.”She chuckles.“I’m Avery Hall’s girlfriend.”She juts out her bottom lip and nods approvingly, as though congratulating herself.“Not bad for this old cougar.”
“Dr.Cougar, you mean.”I can’t stop myself any longer.The evening has been a roller coaster of emotions, and I need to expel some tension from my body.“Will Dr.Cougar see me now?”I bat my lashes.
Nic laughs heartily, and the sound is such a balm to my soul it’s worth any grief I will get from the studio and press alike.
“Let me eat a few more of these because I think I will need the energy.”Before she pops the next chip into her mouth, she fixes her gaze on me and says, “That is, if Dr.Cougar is going to keep up with her much younger girlfriend.”
Nic has no trouble keeping up with me, but we’re only at the beginning of the I-want-to-do-nothing-else-than-take-off-your-clothes-right-now phase.I can see it for what it is while, at the same time, knowing it’s also a lot more than that.
It isn’t just sex.It’s how Nic grounds me when everything else feels precarious—while the news about us spreads.It’s how she looks at me like I’m so much more than the mess I sometimes feel like.She mutes the noise in my head, even if only for a minute at a time.That’s how I know this isn’t just a fling.Although, for an old cougar, she is also ridiculously hot.
We’re in her bed, and Nic kisses me slowly.Tonight, there’s no rush and the frantic edge that laced our times together before is gone.Tonight is different.Maybe because tonight, I’m her girlfriend—no matter how juvenile that sounds.The news is out.Despite the consequences, we no longer have to sneak around.
But I’m still me and I can’t help myself.I push myself against her, deepening the kiss.
Nic stills me by bringing a firm hand to my jaw.Her thumb presses under my chin.
“You don’t always have to set the pace,” she whispers.“Let me.”
Nic’s hand leaves my jaw and traces a path down my throat, lingering long enough to make my pulse thrum beneath her touch.When her palm slides across my chest, it feels, somehow, as though she claims me.I arch into her hand, letting her see—letting her feel—how much I want to be taken exactly like this.Apparently, I can do that now.
Her fingers spread wide over my breast, holding me down with nothing more than her touch, and I shiver at how easily I step out of myself.At how she just keeps me right there.When her hand glides down, every stroke tells me that I’m hers, and tonight she’s going to make sure I know it.
Her mouth finds the hollow at my throat, leaving a hot trail of kisses that has my clit pulsing wildly between my legs.She moves slowly—so much slower than I’m used to—each motion laying claim not just to my body but to all the remaining space between us.I wrap my arms around her neck and sink into her.
Her teeth graze my skin as she works her way down, and I moan with anticipated pleasure.One hand presses firmly at my hip, while the other teases lazy circles across my stomach.Every nerve in my body is strung tight, waiting for the moment Nic finally decides to give me more.
Her lips skim maddeningly close to where I want them, but never quite there, and it undoes me more than if she touched me outright.I’m not used to this—to letting someone else dictate the rhythm—but with Nic, it feels less like giving up control and more like finally letting someone in.As though she knows this is what I need tonight—although I would never have known myself.
