Booked till March. Sorry, buddy.
I drop my head into my hands and groan loud enough that my neighbor probably thinks I'm dying.
March. Of course. Because why would anything be easy?
More replies are rolling in now, and they're all variations of "you're fucked" with different levels of amusement. One person suggests I try making them myself, which—absolutely not. I can barely sew a button. Another person recommends a place that's been closed for two years.
I'm resigned to my fate. I'll tell Washington I fucked up. He'll be disappointed but understanding because that's who he is. Then he'll probably reassign the task to someone competent, like Groover, who'll have it handled in twenty minutes because he's annoyingly good at everything.
But then.
A notification pops up in the corner of my screen.
Private message.
I click it so fast I almost miss the button.
OnlyNewRadicals_69:Yo. My roommate's mom is a tailor. Well, was. She's retired now. I can ask if she's available if you still need one.
I stare at the message.
Read it again.
A third time, just to make sure I'm not hallucinating from exhaustion and protein shake fumes.
An actual human person with an actual potential solution.
I type back immediately:
Need_Tailor_Chicago:OMG, Please do!
Then I sit there, staring at the screen.
My phone buzzes. The group chat Becker created is already at fifty-something messages and climbing, but I ignore it. All my focus is on this Reddit DM, willing this stranger to come through.
More replies are appearing on my original post. People are having a great time at my expense:
Bro really thought he'd find a tailor in December.
RIP to this guy's Christmas plans.
Should've thought of this in October, my dude.
Fuck all of you.
Finally—finally—a new DM appears.
OnlyNewRadicals_69:She says she can help, you can call her in the morning.
Followed immediately by a phone number.
I could cry. I'm a twenty-six-year-old professional athlete and I could legitimately cry over a Reddit DM from a stranger with an absurd username.
Need_Tailor_Chicago:Thank you! You're a LIFESAVER!!
I'm already saving the number in my contacts, labeling it "Tailor - Reddit Angel," when another message comes through:
OnlyNewRadicals_69:Oh, my pleasure. In the name of the holiday spirit…lol, jk. Social capital, baby. Whenever I need a favor, I'm DMing you.
