‘Of course it’s not!’ I say, shocked. ‘Nothing is worth being treated like shit. Or being used as a punch-bag.’ I hesitate. ‘Nigel still doesn’t know where you are?’
She grimaces. ‘No. And he can’t find out. He’s not the sort of man to take kindly to his wife leaving him.’
‘Do you want to be with Dean?’
Her eyes fill with tears. ‘I don’t know that either. He’s pressuring me but I can’t jump from one man to another.’
‘No. You can’t. Do you want to divorce Nigel?’
She nods.Yes.And I feel a surge of relief.
‘Does Dean have a house? Does he want you to move in with him?’
‘That’s what he said. But I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to Ruby.’
I take a slug of wine. Then, ‘Dean’s due to check out tomorrow. He’s only paid for two nights. He will go, won’t he?’
She picks at the cardboard tag attached to the teabag and, without looking at me, says, ‘He won’t cause you any trouble. I know you don’t like him, but he does love me, you know.’
I’m not sure what else to say. Eventually I ask, ‘And Nathan? Is everything okay between the two of you?’
‘Nathan?’
‘Well, you have been ignoring him …’
She laughs. ‘I haven’t.’
She seems to think the idea is hilarious but I’m not finding it funny. I wasn’t imagining the tension between them. ‘You’ve hardly said two words to each other.’
‘Probably because this is the first time I’ve seen him in ages. It just feels a bit odd, that’s all.’
I don’t believe her. But it’s none of my business.
She shuffles in her seat. ‘Anyway, enough about me. What about you? Is everything okay with you and Adrian?’
I bristle. ‘Me and Adrian? Everything’s fine. Why?’
The corners of her mouth turn down and she dunks her teabag. ‘No reason. It must be hard, that’s all. You’ve both been through a lot. And I sensed …’ she hesitates ‘… that you were angry with me earlier.’
I consider this. ‘Only because I thought you’d told Dean about Adrian’s suicide attempt. Finding that noose was a bit of a shock. On top of the dead flowers.’
She stiffens. ‘Dead flowers?’
I explain briefly. ‘I haven’t told Adrian about the last lot – he doesn’t need any added stress.’
Selena has gone quiet, her face deathly white.
‘What is it? What’s wrong?’
‘They’re from Nigel. I know it. It’s the sort of sick fucking thing he’d do. Oh, God. It means he knows where I am.’ Her face is panicked, her eyes round with fear. ‘It means he’s found me.’
19
The day
Selena hardly touches her breakfast. I watch her pick at her scrambled egg while simultaneously fussing over Ruby, and remember our conversation from last night, the fear in her eyes when I mentioned the flowers. Is her husband such a psycho that he would send his estranged wife bouquets of dead flowers as a threat? I imagine him as the villain in that 1990s filmSleeping with the Enemyand feel a dart of fear. I knew Selena coming here would mean trouble. But then I look at Ruby. Beautiful, frail Ruby. Today she’s back in the wheelchair: last night must have tired her out. I’m struck by another wave of admiration for the way Selena handles it all.
Everybody else has finished breakfast. Adrian, to my surprise, is helping me clear away and Mum sits with Selena and the girls, trying to coax Evie to eat the rest of her toast. It’s half-term but the girls are still waking up early.
