When there is a pause in the conversation, I jump in. ‘I don’t think you’ve been introduced,’ I say. ‘This is Selena, my cousin. And these,’ I indicate the two women, ‘are Susie Greyson and Nathan’s wife, Julia.’
A shadow passes over Selena’s face when she looks at Julia – it’s almost infinitesimal but I notice, although she covers it with a smile. Her neck is turning blotchy and red.
‘Lovely to meet you,’ says Julia, but there is a coldness behind her normally warm smile. ‘Amelia says you have a daughter. She couldn’t stop talking about her when we were out today.’
She swallows and nods. ‘Yes. Ruby.’
‘What a beautiful name.’ She angles her body so that she’s looking straight at Selena. ‘I’ve heard she’s been unwell. How is she now?’
‘Julia’s a GP,’ I interject.
The rash on Selena’s neck blooms. ‘Oh, right.’ There is obvious relief in her voice. ‘It’s good to know, actually. I’m in a constant state of terror about Ruby’s health.’
Julia smiles sympathetically, encouraging Selena to continue. She opens up about Ruby’s health issues and I zone out as they talk about digestive tracts and the different procedures Ruby has had. I’ve never had the stomach for anything medical and admire anyone in that profession. I rang Julia in a state of panic so many times when the girls were younger, terrified that their rashes or temperatures were a sign of something more serious.
I’m asking Susie how she’s enjoying the Brecons when, out of the corner of my eye, I see Selena abruptly leap from her chair and dart from the room. Julia is smiling blandly.
‘Is everything okay with Selena?’ I blurt out, interrupting Susie’s tale about seeing the waterfalls yesterday.
Julia frowns. ‘I think so. She worries about Ruby. Not surprising, really. That poor little girl. She wanted to check on her.’
I glance towards the door. ‘Which reminds me. I need to tell my two to get up to bed.’ I stand up. ‘I’ll be back in a minute.’ Before they can say anything further, I hurry from the room just in time to catch Selena before she reaches the bedroom.
‘Hold on,’ I call, wheezing slightly. I take my inhaler from the pocket of my jeans and place it in my mouth, pressing the top and taking deep breaths.
Selena stops and waits for me. ‘Are you okay?’
I rub my chest. ‘Asthma’s always worse this time of year. The bonfires, I think.’ I shove the inhaler back in my pocket. ‘Is everything okay?’
She pulls a puzzled face. ‘Yes. Why?’
‘I don’t know. You just seem … distracted.’
She sighs. ‘Oh, God, I’m so stressed.’ It comes out in a rush, like she’s relieved to be finally admitting it.
‘Come into the dining room with me a minute.’
She has one hand on the bedroom doorknob, her empty mug in the other. I can hear the girls’ laughter coming from inside the room. ‘I don’t know … Ruby really needs her sleep.’ I notice a cold sore at the corner of her mouth that’s started to crust over.
I want Selena to open up to me. Particularly about Dean. I need to know what’s going on there because something doesn’t add up. ‘Just quickly. It would help if you talked about it.’ I take the mug from her. ‘I’ve got some herbal tea.’ I try to make it sound enticing.
She laughs. ‘Herbal tea! Once it would have been a lager and black. Oh, go on then. Just a quick one.’
She follows me into the kitchen and hops up on to the bar stool. She asks for camomile and I dunk a teabag in a large mug of hot water and hand it to her.
‘I just can’t sleep at the moment,’ she says, taking a sip. ‘I go to bed early to be with Ruby but I lie there, staring into the darkness, my mind ticking over.’
I sit next to her and pour myself another glass of wine. ‘Are you worrying about Nigel? About Dean?’
‘Both,’ she admits.
‘Have you decided what to do?’
She shakes her head. ‘Not completely. I won’t go back to Nigel. Not now. I can’t. If he finds out about Dean,’ she swallows, ‘he’d hurt me. And I mean,really hurt me.’
‘Oh, Selena.’
‘He’s a nasty man. I should have got out years ago. But Ruby …’ She pulls at the hem of her jumper. ‘I’m not going to lie. I had a nice life with Nigel. Financially. But that’s not enough, is it?’
