“It sure seems magical to us,” Adriene said. “In a nutshell, what are your secrets to staying so connected? It must be harder now that you have a baby.”
Angeni wasn’t sure how to answer, and was grateful when Erik jumped in: “I think it helps that we truly respect each other. I want the best for her, and she wants the best for me. It starts there. We understand there are ups and downs with intimacy, and we do our best to talk through those, with this baseline understanding that we are each other’s person.”
“That’s truly so sweet,” Michael said.
“If you don’t mind, we have a couple people on standby who are big fans of yours and want to ask some questions,” Adriene said.
They had not mentioned this to Angeni ahead of time. Generally, she liked to know the topics that would be discussed. She didn’t like surprise appearances, unexpected questions. But they were live on air, and she couldn’t exactly show her disapproval now.
“Sure,” Erik said, “let’s hear ’em.”
She would let Erik take the lead here. He had to know she was uncomfortable with this.
“Okay, first we have Sue. Sue, go ahead with your question!” Michael said.
“Yes, hello,” a woman’s voice said. It sounded odd, muffled. “My question is ... will this book of yours include any information about your shocking past?”
Erik tightened his grip on Angeni’s thigh. She felt her heart pounding in her chest. Before she or Erik could say anything, Adriene’s face fell, and she said, “Oh my god.”
“Angeni, we’re so sorry. That is not the question she said she was going to ask,” Michael said.
The hosts were clearly flustered.
Angeni’s mind raced. Who knew about hershocking past? Aurora knew, but ... Angeni looked around the room. Where was Aurora?
“Sadly, we’re used to the crazies,” Erik said, sounding unfazed by the whole thing. To him, it was just another troll. For all he knew, her past wasn’t that shocking. She’d always pledged allegiance to radical honesty and transparency in relationships, but she hadn’t applied those principles to her own marriage.
“Let’s shift to another question. This one came as a write-in, and we thought it was interesting,” Adriene said. “How do you balance your own pursuits with being such an involved mother?”
“Oh, that is a good question,” Michael said.
Erik could not answer this one for Angeni. This question was for her. She cleared her throat, tried to regain her composure.
“Freya is always my number one priority,” she said. “Whatever else I do is secondary to her.”
“You’d be amazed at her juggling skills,” Erik said.
Aurora came back into the living room then. Where had she been? Was she the person who had called in? Was that logistically possible? It hadn’t sounded like Aurora. Angeni tracked her across the room, willing Aurora to look at her. When she did, she gave Angeni a thumbs-up. There was no betrayal on her face that Angeni could see. Was it possible someone, a stranger, was just taking a guess at her “shocking past,” trying to rattle her?
“You totally don’t have to put her on camera,” Adriene said, “but is little Freya nearby?”
Angeni took her eyes off Aurora.
“Sorry?”
“Is little Freya nearby?” Adriene repeated.
Freya.
WherewasFreya? Angeni didn’t even know. She felt the color leave her face as she remembered how she’d told Sitka to watch her while she got ready for the podcast. Sitka had likely taken her outside for a walk.But Angeni didn’t know for sure. She’d been completely unaware of her child’s whereabouts for at least an hour.
“We are fortunate to live in community on our land, and Freya is with our community right now,” Erik said.
Angeni felt like someone had set a match to her skin and the flames were traveling to consume her body. It was just like when they’d all brought her that damn cake. Aurora, standing behind the screen, mouthedAre you okay?
“I’m sorry, can we pause? I need to get some water,” Angeni said.
“Sure, of course,” Adriene said.
